desensitising oneself?

Has anybody worked on try to desensitise themselves to their phobia? I'm pretty darn scared of snakes, but that's ok, because I don't have to encounter them. I will look at them at the zoo or in a pet shop though. I onced touched a very large boa but when he turned his head around to look at me I walked away. But my fear of spiders is a lot more extreme. I wont watch them on TV, look at pictures of them, and if I see them in the house, it's them or me.... I usually have a lengthly stand-off before I finally attack them with something very blunt and whack them till only mush is left.

Sometime in the next few years, there is a chance I will be emigrating to the western USA. And although it's not a definite, and if it happens, is a few years off, I'm already full of thoughts of snakes and spiders that can actually hurt you, snakes in the wild, and very, very large spiders. I just can't be rational about it.

The last week I have started to look at pictures of spiders on the internet. Maybe one or two a day. I get that awful crawling feeling on my skin that makes me want to slap all over to kill what I imagine is now crawling on me. But I make myself look at the picture, not too long, thirty seconds is ok, then totally ignore the urge to scratch or slap at the crawling feeling. I know this is a tiny step, I still walk sideways in and out of my local pet shop so I don't have to see what's in the tanks (they might have tarantulas, I don't know, I can't take the risk of finding out. If they do, then I might not be able to go in again). Another step I'm taking is to reasonable calculate the chances of spiders actually being where I am, whether here, or abroad. I sit at the picnic tables outside my college every day, and not a spider to be seen. I try to keep that in my mind. Spiders don't want to set up camp on or around things that people use often.

Wondering if anyone has tried these approaches, and how to progress from these steps? Anyone got any other advice?

(There are no spiders on the benches here because it's cold, and loads and loads of spiders walking around in warmer climates is NOT a help, even if it's true!!)

Skatey

I used to have a dreadful reaction to needles. It only developed in my late teens. I would try to put mind over matter but would still go completely limp. I would not faint - I would have a couple of moments notice - but I would have to support my body before I went completely limp.
I tried desensitization for this. My sister's a qualified acupuncturist and I just looked at some of her needles for a little while over a few weeks. Then I held then in the palm of my hand for another few weeks. TBH, I don't know how much that part helped.... Then I had to have another blood test. I did the 'mind over matter', as I had before, I also pinched myself so as to distract myself physically. Somehow, the combination of all of this worked.

My phobia of spiders has improved for the ones that look like daddy long legs. I have put them into a different group in my mind. But if I see anything that looks like a traditional spider, I'm afraid I wake up with nightmares for 1 or 2 nights.

I'm a calm and logical person. If really frustrates me that I can't get over this!
Best of luck to you.

I watched, for the first time, a tarantula on the TV, last night. It was about exposing people to their phobias, and it was mostly snakes, but there were tarantulas. A girl held one in her hands. My boyfriend said to me "I've done that, it's terrifying" and I had to tell him my heart was actually pounding in my chest while watching it. I was starting to sweat too. But I didn't get itchy, and I didn't look away either.

I just saw a small spider outside on the wall, he's going to get squished if he stays where he is (beside the patio door) and I was going to pick him up and move him, but I'm not *quite* at that stage yet.

But I do think desensitising is working to a degree. I haven't been keeping up with my resolution to look at spiders on the internet every day, not lately. But I think, from having seen the spider on TV last night, I should start again, and progress, when I feel ready, to film footage of tarantulas. I will let you guys know if it's making any difference.... off to google images right now!! Wish me luck!

I know it's pretty much forbidden to resurrect old threads, but I thought in context it was better to find this one again and drag it up, and let you guys know how it worked for me. Almost 5 years later I can stand beside someone holding a tarantula, though I haven't gone to hold it myself yet, I'm sure I will be able if needs be. I can open the tarantula's little house and change out their water bowl and put crickets in for it to eat. I now remove spiders from my house rather than hyperventilate and cry and stamp on them. I don't want to touch them but I'm no longer convinced that it's either me, or them. I actually think they're amazing and quite pretty, although their movements still freak me out!

I didn't do this by looking at pictures but the pictures help A LOT. I still look at pictures to help me with it. I don't think I can really articulate why it is now that my spider phobia, which was a very life-limiting terrifying fear is now just a respect, like I have with bees, don't want you near me, but I can live with you being around.

A chance will come for me in the new year to hold a tarantula. This is what's so amazing for me, I'm not scared of them anymore. There was a time when I knew they'd be in the same room as me, I'd leave. The only reason I don't want that spider on my hand is because it'll feel soooooo creeeeepy! I'm no longer afraid that it can hurt me. Honestly though, I'm still quite scared of our HUGE house spiders. Tarantulas are big, furry and generally never move. My cat caught a 6 inch black thing in my bedroom in Bray a few months ago. That was terrifying!

I just wanted to finally update on this to say that YES, looking at pictures of my phobia helped me a lot, but it was looking at live species of them that really got me to the stage I'm at now. I am so proud to say that yes, I no longer think Budgese is phobic of spiders! Just find them creepy and disgusting! If a big spider ran across my floor now (liable, I'm in my ma's and it's infested with big boys) I'd more likely trap it and bring it into the conservatory, rather than scream and scream and set the place on fire until someone came to rescue me.

PS don't put them outside, even the biggies. They'll die!

I'd been working in pet shops a bit since I last posted too and been able to be near the spiders without having to get too close. I'm starting to think the fear was learned and not a natural phobia. Now I don't want a spider in my room running about and hiding, I don't want to be left alone with an unpredictable spider, but the opportunity came for me to hold a well handled, lazy tarantula, and I did it. Ten years ago I would leave a pet shop if I knew there was one there.

Meet Rosie! (Warning, there is a big spider in this picture).