Never had a relationship

LegacyUser

So here's the issue. I'm 21 and I've never been in a relationship, or even anything close to resembling one. I've had a few kisses in clubs but nothing further (yes, I am still a virgin). All my friends have had at least one relationship at this stage and I feel like I'm just wierd...

I always presumed I would be in a relationship some time in my 20s but now I'm really beginning to doubt if that will be the case. I get so lonely sometimes, I just want someone to cuddle up to! I know people will say, don't rush it, it will happen in its own time but it's really starting to feel like it never will.

Fluorescence

Why not try a dating site? More people than not use them these days - they're definitely becoming the norm. TBH, the drunken club culture is not really a great way to meet someone for a relationship.

pencilsharp

I'm 27 nearly 28 (yikes!!) and I've never had a real relationship either! At 21 you've plenty of time, I've come to the conclusion that if you constantly think about it, it'll never happen, you just have to relax and eventually it'll happen for you! If you are really that bothered about it, yes you could join an online dating site! Nightcubs I feel are not the right place to meet someone where a relationship develops, I've been ther done that! Get involved in activities, let your friends girlfriends know that you're interested in starting a relationship and maybe they could set you up with a friend. But whatever you do don't stress over it, it'll all fall into place. Best of luck!

LegacyUser

You can't force yourself into a relationship, OP, and if you do, well there's plenty of women on this forum itself that can testify how well that works out.

Get yourself on plentyoffish or something similar and get involved in activities where you'll meet other girls your age in a sober environment. Sports, community involvement, etc etc.

Something will come along, it's nothing worth getting stressed out over. You never know when these things will come along, so just get out there and let it happen.

magneticimpulse

True, at 30 ive still not met a guy that resembles the one. The really crap relationships i did have I wish i could erase from my mind.

Your life is ahead of you...they will be many crap and good relationships to look forward and times of being single. Hey most of my friends are in the 32 - 40 year age group and they are all single as well. Not everyone is loved up.

LegacyUser

Hi Op,

I am in the same situation as you except I am in my mid 30s. Like you I have never been in a relationship either. This has been due to a combination of shyness and pickiness (if that is a word). The advice given here is good expand your circle of friends I didnt and now on some ocassions I am stuck for someone to go out with. I am joining clubs to remedy this. Look at your friends the people you hang around with - are they outgoing? do they interact with other people there again in my situation my friends dont and to be fair I am the same. How are you in relation to them are you the quiet one of the group or are you in a quiet group. I have had opporunities to meet people in bars but they were never my type. In retrospect I regret this as I could have missed out on opportunities to meet great people. In the end it is ultimately down to you to change your situation. I can look back to when I was 18 thinking each night out was going to be the one when something happens. Almost 18 years later still the same situation you wont feel the time pass by. Ultimately you have to make your own luck try new things meet new people take a chance change the status quo or otherwise believe me 18 years goes by so quick. Like most things in life worth doing it is easier said than done. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

this post says what I was going to ^^^
You are young and have plenty of time to meet people but don't let the years slip past you.

My sister is 36 and has never had a relationship. She had a few F buddys and one night stands but never a relationship that lasted beyond a few nights. She recently admitted that being permanetly single made her unhappy. Up to then she was always putting on a front that everything was okay. When she was in her 20s she was very fussy about the kind of man she saw herself with. It's cool to set yourself a standard and have hopes that you would meet this person but she wouldn't even look twice at a man who didn't have a particular look or be into certain things. In her eyes if she wasn't attracted to him immediately it wasn't going to happen. Which meant the slightly shorter blond guy who wasn't into the same music and books and she was into never, ever got a chance. The irony she missed was that she may not have been her ideal man's ideal woman and now that blond man or the slightly overweight one or the one who wasn't into music moved on to someone else.
She is now older and quite set in her ways and isn't brilliant in social situations. She never joined any groups or clubs when she was your age down to laziness and assuming her friends would always be available to go out whenever she wanted to. Meeting people on nights out is all well and good but all you have in common with strangers in a bar is that you are both drinking alcohol and out for a night. Don't rely on your friends interacting with other people in bars to get you involved in conversations, if you can't do it yourself then that needs to be tackled.
Don't pretend you love being single if you don't. Your friends aren't mind readers. If you keep telling them you're happy and independent why would they go out of their way to introduce you to single men or start conversations in bars on your behalf? You make your own choices in life so choose to take a risk every now and then. Relationships don't always work out but better to have learned from a bad one than reach 36 with no experience at all.

Ainekav

You're 21!!!!

Plenty of time!
Go out and have fun and forget about getting a girlf/boyf - there's plenty of time for that!