College isn't for me. What to do?

LickLickLick

Basically I have come to terms that full time (5 day a week) college is not for me. I was in one course (fetac) and used this as a way to get into a level 7/8 course, which I did, I went through one year and dropped out.

Let me note, over the years I have been becoming increasingly unhappy, and have started counselling as I began self harming and acting out out (both as of recently)

I am currently in a course, while I do enjoy it (mostly for banter) My heart is not in it. I feel I have been pushed into all 3 of these courses. I know I should be in full control of my own life, but with my depression I can't do it. I can't make these long life decisions at all, I feel so hopeless. I feel I am making everyone else happy.

I am 20 years old, and I am scared of not progressing in life (as I feel the last 2 years of college have been a waste, which in reality they have been)
I know I need a time out and am fully open to the idea of maybe a night course and job searching. I know I need a time out and going into another course like this will not help me right now

I don't want to risk unhappiness just to go to college because I'm expected to.

Any thoughts?

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

What is it about the course that's making you unhappy? Is it the content? If so, why not change to a course you're actually interested in?

Plenty of people go through what you're going through and truth be told, I doubt even 5% of students are 100% into the course they're doing.

It shouldn't be a case of being expected to go to college, you should want to. At your age, it offers invaluable experiences as well as qualifications that will stand to you for life. Education is the number 1 way to better ourselves.

Now, you say that a 5 day week is not for you. Well, this might hurt you to say this, but full time college is significantly easier than full time work. If you're struggling with the hours, you're going to be destroyed by full time work.

Particularly that given your lack of qualifications, any work that you do get will be menial and unfulfilling and there'll generally be authority figures involved who are themselves life failures and take it out on everyone they meet. Do you think this will bring you happiness? Believe me, I've worked these jobs and leaving the house to go to them in the morning is far, far more depressing than anything a college course can do to you. In fact, it was these type of jobs that drove me back into college after taking a break, for reasons similar to yours.

If you're enjoying the course, finish it and then make your decisions. Trust me, you will regret it for years if you don't see this through, or transfer into a course immediately that you will see through. Any jobs that are out there right now will destroy you and they will mean nothing on your CV. Stick with education until you're qualified and then go live your life.

Best of luck.

LickLickLick

Thanks for the reply.

The course I'm in atm is a fetac one year course btw.

My unhappiness is not directly the content of the course. Having depression causes unhappiness in every aspect of life at the moment.

I see 100% of what you're saying, I do not want to be stuck in a crappy 9 to 5 job and would love to get a degree. I guess college itself isn't the height of my issues, I want the experience, I want to enjoy it. I don't have the motivation to as I feel sad the majority of the day.

My depression has only come to light in the last 2 months so feel like I'm dealing with it properly since, however have suffered since childhood with these issues, which in turn affects anything I do.

I have a lot of thinking to do, I just need to 'find myself' and not to rush into yet another course to find I can't deal with it.