how to forget once and for all

LegacyUser

hi all,
completely wrecked in the head here and just really need to get over someone but dont know if i can !! basically i met a boy last july everything all fine- too good until about november- when he lost all interest - dragged it out till january until i finally had courage to end it- he probably would still be dragging it out. however i just cannot seem to get over him. i have been kissed/ went on dates with 8 people since- and really i just dont like the person i am becoming because of this. i am forcing myself to get myself out there and meet other people to get him off my mind and really its not fair on anyone involved. for e.g on paddys day i met a nice guy nice personality, fancied him rotten, and everything and still nothing all i do is after a few drinks start sobbing about the other boy to him!!!i really should be over things at this stage . guess most frustrating thing is that things just kind of fizzled out and we never had things "out" . it makes it worse he is still in contact with me but i have stopped replying for last 3 weeks which i thought would help but i just have an awful longing for him!!!!
how do i move on and stop comparing everyone to him. im not stupid and know that he just is not into me like he once was otherwise he wouldnt let me go so easily etc etc. and if im been honest when he was into me that much i wasnt as crazy about him. why do we want things we cant have!!! ok rang over, needed to get that off my chest..feel my friends will go banannas if i bring him up as they feel i have been doing great last few weeks!!

LegacyUser

I've been where you are right now and the truth is I still sort of am, so I know what you're going through. I was involved with a girl for awhile but things ended around new years and I didn't really take it well. I was exactly like you. I still am but not as much now.

My biggest mistake was never telling my friends about how I felt all the time. They knew things had ended but anytime they asked me if I was alright I'd act all cheery. You know the phrase "grin and bare it", well that was me. If I had told my friends they would have done so much to help me because that's what they are there for.

The point I'm trying to make is that you shouldn't do what I did. You have to tell your freinds how you feel, they won't get mad at you or get sick of you bringing it up. They WILL help you through this tough time. And they will be a lot more loving and do a much better job than any advice given by strangers on here (no offence to any future posters).

Just tell them. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can get over this boy.

IrishEyes19

OP, been where you are and still am, but slowly getting better. It hurts a lot, in fact its horrendous, but you have to move on, because you will torture yourself with every little detail of it. if he's still in contact end it now, he doesnt deserve to get the benefits of a relationship without the intimacy or title, he may be a good guy, but its clearly not helping you having him so near if you know what I mean.

there will be tough days, I wont deny that and moments where you want to text him but just be strong and hold out, he'll have more respect for you in the long run and secondly you will get over it. it just takes time.

1939

OP, life's a b1tch but you're doing everything right to get over someone. Keep it up and time will heal the wounds. Try write down what you didn’t like about him the most and keep it in your purse or wallet, whenever you feel an urge to txt or contact him, or just plain miss him, look at it and that should make you feel better. It’s hard, Jesus I know but sometimes you just need to catch yourself in the act of feeling sorry for yourself and snap yourself out of it! I'm in the exact same position now myself and times are hard but I believe time heals so I'm doing the same as you, distracting myself with others and I know in time things will turn good for me, and for you too. You come across as a strong person with a sensible head screwed on top, I know you'll be just fine, just give yourself time and try not to get frustrated if you feel down sometimes or miss him, its all part of the process but you'll be ok

murphthesmurf

Here's someone else having a similar prob to you in this thread
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056218355

Could get a little more advice from there maybe.