another justfriends thread

LegacyUser

hi,

yes it is another one of those threads, hate to be the one writing it aswell.
So I am very close to my friend for years, we have got really close over the last year. We drink and go out together, if I stay at his or vise versa (we live very far apart) we stay in the same bed, nothing has ever happened, and neither of us ever tried it. I have wanted to but I am too affriad of rejection and ruining an amazing friendship. But he hasnt tried either. We flirt, he said im hot etc etc...but thats it...He is not seeing anyone right now either.
Is it safe to say I am in the friendszone???

Permabear

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LegacyUser

Yes maybe you are right, but the thing is he isnt shy, can I ask would guys worry about rejection just as much, even with some dutch courage??

Permabear wrote: »

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teaspach

I don't think anyone who has a heart in their chest finds rejection easy. It's pretty difficult for both sexes. If he has told you that he thinks you are hot then... I would take that as a pretty good indicator. Just look him dead in the eyes. Do you see your feelings for him, reflected back to you? If the answer is yes, then just tell him you like him. Or if feels too direct, just flirt with him like crazy and hopefully ye will end up snogging. Flirting is extremely powerful, so use your powers!

Good luck!

Permabear

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TommyKnocker

friendzoneyess wrote: »

Yes maybe you are right, but the thing is he isnt shy, can I ask would guys worry about rejection just as much, even with some dutch courage??

And it not only the rejection either. We'd also worry that by coming out about our feelings we might ruin an amazing friendship. Well I would anyway.

LegacyUser

He's obviously attracted to you and is afraid, for whatever reason, to make the first move. Given this, I would say next time you're alone together, make your move. I'm sure it'll end well.

Best of luck

dr gonzo

Agree with everyone here, sounds like nerves on both sides and you've a wall where both parties are afraid of the next step. Go for it OP, even though it seems quite unlikely given what youve said that rejection is on the cards its at least better then the limbo youre in at the moment.

Wipperspammer

Hi OP,

Something doesn't add up for me. Friends for years and yet he isn't shy. I'm not sure I could go that long without trying something on. He does say you are "Hot", I wouldn't say that to a friend. I'd stop at "lovely" perhaps !! The risk is it backfiring and then you're without a friend.

You say you share a bed, the most obvious place for something to happen. Here's my suggestion: next time you're in bed instigate some physical contact. Doesn't have to be blunt. Bring him a coffee in bed, put it down on his side and then climb in over him with a fumble or two. Alternative / in addition to this I'm sure you could position yourself in such a way that you'll know if he's liking what's happening

LegacyUser

thanks everyone for the replies.
I guess you are right, everyone is afraid of rejection, especially when you get really close to somebody.
maybe I will go for it the next time we are alone. Wish me luck. thanks all.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Him not being interested won't neccesarily ruin the relationship. So long as you are civil and don't throw a "you led me on" hissyfit things will be fine.

You have to get closure on it anyway. If you're interested in him it won't last in its current format. Your feelings won't go away and if you like him other girls will too. When he gets a girlfriend you'll find yourself being pissed off he doesn't spend as much time with you and thats on top of major jealousy/heartbreak.

There is no reason not to tell him.