Boyfriend's ex just added me on Facebook - how would you feel about this?

LegacyUser

Hi girls (and guys),

Decided to go unreg for this one just in case I ever link the bf to one of my posts, kinda don't want him to read this one...

Have just spent the morning on Facebook and happened to comment on a link to a song my bf had put up. His ex then commented on it and we had what you could describe as a 3 or 4 comment conversation about the link and she's now added me as a friend. What do I do?

I think he's still friends (in reality) with the girl but I'm not sure. To be fair she doesn't know that I'm his girlfriend as far as I know. (He doesn't want to change his status, last 2 times he did change it the relationships fell apart within a couple of days so he doesn't want to jinx us, he's mad enough to want to keep me. :P)

I feel a bit odd accepting but feel bad for not accepting. I don't actually know her. Has anyone been in this type of situation? How would you feel about adding your current bf or gf's ex?

Just decided to start a thread, was just interested to see what other people thought. Apologies if I'm in the wrong place. And I did a bit of a search before and didn't come up with similar topics.

Cheers.

Maple

Moved from TLL, feel it better suited here OP.

Maple.

squeakyduck

Don't add her if you don't want to. You are under no obligation to add her at all, as you said you don't even know her. She's not going to be watching the screen for the "X has accepted your friend request" notification.

Asphyxia

I'm friends with two of my boyfriend's exes on Facebook one lives in the same town and I've known her since I can remember and the other used to live 20mins away in the main town but has since gone to college, we chat the odd time both of them are lovely .

If you feel uncomfortable or think it will cause problems then just ignore it.. it's only Facebook after all.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I would click ignore if I were you. If she doesn't know you're his girlfriend and she's never even met you other than exchanging comments about a link then she won't even notice that you don't accept the request, she might just want to push up her friends number. If she does know you're his girlfriend then that's kinda weird of her to want to be your friend, she may wish to keep tabs on your bf to see if he becomes single again!!! Either way I would just click ignore.

Just ignore the request

I'd ignore the request. It reaks of bunny boiler.

metrovelvet

Personally, I wouldn't care. I don't take facebook seriously.

Firetrap

I think you'd be best to ignore it. She might not know you're going out with her ex and I wonder would she have sent a friend request if she knew? I'm getting the impression you'd rather not be friends with her but don't want to be rude. Overall, ignoring it is best for both of you.

Nead21

I'm friends with my ex's gf on facebook. i only know her through my ex and she added me, but i felt confortable accepting the request. if you're not happy about it, don't accept it and move on....it's not that big a deal, it's only facebook.

IrishEyes19

Id disagree and think she may know you are his gf, word goes around quickly and people talk. Chances her any of her friends may have seen you out together.

I find it unusual if she doesnt know who you are that she adds you. loads of people have often commented on a status that I commented on of a friend and exchanged words but Ive never added them nor them me. I find her adding you unusual.

tinkerbell

I ignore facebook friend requests all the time, I just don't add people that I don't keep in regular contact with. My motto is, if they are not your friend in real life, then why would they be your friend on facebook.

Peanut2011

OP, you said you don't know her. There is your answer. Why would you accept a request from someone who you don't know? Simple as!

RacoonQueen

Chances are she does know you're seeing him and is just being nosy. Ignore it or accept it and stick her on limited profile so she can't view much.

mood

I would ignore it. You don't want an ex of his snooping around your facebook photos etc. Why would you!

To be honest I don't know why you sort ended up chatting/commenting!

God that's a bit desperate, adding anyone who comments on the same post as you! Either she's:

1. a weirdo who's stuck in bebo-mode, desperately trying to up her friends numbers. In which case she wont notice if you don't add her, so don't.

2. sees someone her ex is being friendly with and is trying to frienemy you (ie. getting friendly with you in order to keep and eye on things with you and her ex when she actually doesn't like you). In which case adding her could only cause trouble and since her efforts at being friendly are insincere she probably knows her add request is a bit odd, and wont notice anything weird about you not adding her so don't.

3. she knows from friends or your tone that you and her ex are going out. This is a frienemy trap but worse because she's not just being nosy, she probably wants to get into a position where she matters in your relationship. So don't add her. This last option does have the drawback that she will notice you not adding her and might not like it.

All round I'd say she's looking for trouble, and in any of the above situations it's ok to ignore her add request, but really, who cares what she sees? I'm sure you're confident enough with your boyfriend to know that she can't come between you by adding you on facebook. If she's still hung up on him it'll torture her either way so if you're secure in your relationship just humour her and accept. What do you care? Whatever it is she's looking for, she's unlikely to get it.

Rylan

Accept the request. You never know she might still be going out with your boyfriend and thats why he doesn't want to change his status.

mood

Does your boyfriend have photos of the two of you on his facebook? If he does she must know who you are.

mood

Rylan wrote: »

Accept the request. You never know she might still be going out with your boyfriend and thats why he doesn't want to change his status.

I assume his status says he is single.

Why doesn't he just leave it blank?

Azureus

My bf's ex added me on facebook the other day and Im fine with it. Ive met her twice, briefly enough but she seems lovely. Her and my boyfriend still talk. The way I see it is that my boyfriend is friends with her therefore she is probably a decent person and I know there are no feelings on his end at least. Shes always nice to me when she meets me and this way the relationship between us all is transparent with no secrecy of private pages etc.

It depends on the ex to be honest but if you dont know her and her request causes you to stop and think for more than two seconds, then there is probably an ulterior motive to it and I would ignore it. Its either because she wants to bump up her friend numbers (I know people who practically add everyone they pass in the street to do this so its not unusual) or she wants to be nosy. Either way, avoid.