Middle Aged Male Syndrome

Clareboy

Some years ago, while visiting my wife's relatives in England, I discovered Middle Aged Male Syndrome ( MAMS). We were looking forward to our trip and we expected to enjoy evenings of stimulating coversation about life in Ireland and in England and some sightseeing by day. Were we dissapointed. At the first house that we called to, the ' man of the house' a middle aged male was sitting in his arm chair in front of the TV, remote in hand. He just about turned his head slightly to acknowledge the arrival of his relations from Ireland and continued on watching some stupid programme. We called to three other houses and it was the same story.

The main characteristic of MAMS seems to be box watching, so don't bother me and don't ask me to go anywhere or to do anything. What is it about the middle aged male that they seem to give up on life as soon as they retire or reach a certain age?

OldGoat

It's you - you just bore your inlaws.

What I hate about situations like that is how I become a fawning imbicele as I attempt to ingratiate myself with them. I start to gibber about football or horse racing - both topics where I know absoloutly nothing at all thus leading me down the path of panic where I start to make stuff up just to appear congienial.
I kinda understand that mentality though; I see it as a defence mechanism by people who are uncomfortable in social meetings with people outside of their usual friends.
There is a disturbance going on in their house, people he doesn’t know too well and he is trying to avoid or master the situation.
Think of it as an Alpha male thing. He's letting you know that you are in his place.
I found that after a few glasses of something alcoholic they become quite gregarious.

BBDBB

sssssshhhhhhhh Cash in the Attic is on;)

Beruthiel

Can I ask, what age range is 'middle aged' these days?

I've been pushing it back for a while now....

littleredspot

I've been going with the theory of "ten years older than you, until you stop asking"

Clareboy

OldGoat wrote: »

It's you - you just bore your inlaws.

What I hate about situations like that is how I become a fawning imbicele as I attempt to ingratiate myself with them. I start to gibber about football or horse racing - both topics where I know absoloutly nothing at all thus leading me down the path of panic where I start to make stuff up just to appear congienial.
I kinda understand that mentality though; I see it as a defence mechanism by people who are uncomfortable in social meetings with people outside of their usual friends.
There is a disturbance going on in their house, people he doesn’t know too well and he is trying to avoid or master the situation.
Think of it as an Alpha male thing. He's letting you know that you are in his place.
I found that after a few glasses of something alcoholic they become quite gregarious.

It's me! They did not even give me a chance to bore them! As regards alcohol, we knew this guy who was only human when he had drink taken. Sad really. Its no wonder that we have so many people suffering from depression. When males reach a certain age, they seem to become very cautious and extremely conservative. As a middle aged male myself, I find that I have more in common with women than with men of my own age. Women seem to have more ' get up and go' and are interested in doing things and going places. They are still alive!

bullpost

I'd agree with you. I think we all get a bit burnt out by this stage and the obvious solution is to retreat into a safe little world. I've noticed it myself lately.
I've begun the fightback though. Will hit my first music festival in a long time this summer and am generally heading out and about a bit more.

Clareboy wrote: »

It's me! They did not even give me a chance to bore them! As regards alcohol, we knew this guy who was only human when he had drink taken. Sad really. Its no wonder that we have so many people suffering from depression. When males reach a certain age, they seem to become very cautious and extremely conservative. As a middle aged male myself, I find that I have more in common with women than with men of my own age. Women seem to have more ' get up and go' and are interested in doing things and going places. They are still alive!

Rubecula

Beruthiel wrote: »

Can I ask, what age range is 'middle aged' these days?

I've been pushing it back for a while now....

Middle age? I think of my age then double it. Will I get that far. If the answer is yes (hopefully then I am approaching middle age. If the answer is no, I suppose I am past it.......OMG I am past it!:D

Cicero

OP...I give you permission to shoot me if I turn out like that....sounds like you have a lot of boring relations...know tons of active people in their 70s, no less 40s/50s....let them rot their brains away....I think they're more the exception than the rule to be honest....

vampire of kilmainham

Cicero wrote: »

OP...I give you permission to shoot me if I turn out like that....sounds like you have a lot of boring relations...know tons of active people in their 70s, no less 40s/50s....let them rot their brains away....I think they're more the exception than the rule to be honest....

i couldent aggree more:):):cool::cool:

Oh_Noes

Television is zombie food and it makes half of our society braindead, regardless of age or gender. I would suggest television as the root of your issue rather than age and gender.

Na its diffidently real I know two couples who had planned to travel once the kids grew up lo and behold its the men in the relationships who have given up the idea one said to his wife we'r too old for that sort of thing now...the men have settled in to the telly watching/few pint/watch the football types while their wive haven't.