Suicide - Put an end to it!

up for anything

Is there any group out there who are trying to do something about youth suicide in Kilkenny? I just heard this morning of another 16 year old boy who committed suicide over the weekend. Why is it such a dirty secret and why isn't there some kind of support group who go into the schools and at least speak to the children and maybe bring along people who have been affected by it to talk to them. Would this not be better than sweeping it under the carpet!

Somebody needs to get across to them that while something may seem absolutely dire today, that next week, month or year it will just be a bad memory. That girl, the Junior Cert, Leaving Cert, the boy who dumped you, parents who don't understand you, the friends who are cold-shouldering you, your sexuality, the parents who won't leave you alone/don't understand you, the money you owe, the bully... that none of it is worth taking your own life for, either for you or the people you leave behind. It can be sorted in one way or another.

So far I have not been affected by it but I know so many who have and it leaves a sadness beyond compare in many people's lives. If any one is aware of a group doing such work, please let me know because I have quite a lot of free time and would like to help.

Threadhead

I don't know if you're talking about the same fellow but there was a 19 year old chap from the city centre who died yesterday. I knew him and he was a lovely fella and it's horrible for his family and friends. It's just senseless, tragic beyond belief and happens way too often.

There definitely needs to be stronger support systems put in place, especially in schools. From my experience, when someone of a school going age commits suicide it results in a week or two of concern, an offer of counselling services, a close eye from the teachers for another few weeks and then that's it. No preventative measures are put in place. There's no attempts made to engage with the issue afterwards. Suicide really needs to be addressed in a much more direct way, especially for teenagers. It's such a tremendous waste of life.

up for anything

No, this child was definitely 16 from what I heard. I think his father had committed suicide too. So that's two lads in the space of a couple of days and I doubt it'll even make the Kilkenny People. I understand that people want privacy but surely in order to save other kids some would be willing to talk about it. I realise it is a completely different situation to the PS ads where parents speak about their children who have killed in road accidents but children/teenagers can be all wrapped up in themselves and their feelings. Maybe if they were to see the result of another child's action, they might think outwards when faced with the same pressures themselves. I don't know.. I'm not an expert but I know the type of things that made an impression on me at that age and sometimes it was seeing or knowing adults coping with tragic situations that made me think, I won't do that, I won't be that, I won't let that happen.

Threadhead

We're talking about the same fellow. He definitely wasn't 16. I know how the rumour mill goes with these things.

Leaving that aside, there definitely needs to be something put in place in schools very early on. And not in a paying lip service sort of way. It needs to be consistent and it needs to encourage airing problems and talking to people who have been through similar.

Raze_them_all

Schools are absoloutely useless when it comes to young men/ boys. No matter whats the problem a simple apology and shake of hands is usually the suggestion

Threadhead

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Schools are absoloutely useless when it comes to young men/ boys. No matter whats the problem a simple apology and shake of hands is usually the suggestion

Couldn't agree with you more. It's an absolutely ****e state of affairs and teachers are so badly equipped to deal with it. It's only when something happens that they pay any attention to it. Teenagers are very sensitive to depression and it's a consistent thing as they go through school. It really needs to be addressed consistently, honestly and tactfully.

Raze_them_all

Threadhead wrote: »

Couldn't agree with you more. It's an absolutely ****e state of affairs and teachers are so badly equipped to deal with it. It's only when something happens that they pay any attention to it. Teenagers are very sensitive to depression and it's a consistent thing as they go through school. It really needs to be addressed consistently, honestly and tactfully.

Tbh i don't entirely blame the teachers, I blame the school system itself, there has to be accepted guidelines thats currently been thought to them. Also in my opinion it comes with teaching young males and females the same which is a big mistake, in my time in school and my experience with being bullied I've only ever come across one teacher who actually got to the bottom of stuff and that may of been because she would know my mother and is related to my cousins.

There's always going to be bullys but the advise they give is completely stupid, I remember once I was told to walk away....yeah walking away from someone who's hitting you will help.... In my experience fighting back even if you lose is a much better deterrent to bullies

iMax

There's a band called Friends Of Emmet (www.friendsofemmet.com) who are trying to raise funds for suicide awareness.

The reception in Ireland has been lousy. They're offering 100% of the royalties off their song "Coming Apart" to charities for suicide awareness & they're getting virtually no response. I know they've recently hooked up with Console & are trying to do something there, but media is ignoring them here.

They have a good song & video which they're donating 100% to the cause & doors are being closed in their faces, it's crazy. By contrast, there's a charity called save.org in the USA who financed a college tour with them in America recently & are booking them on a larger one later this year.

up for anything

iMax wrote: »

There's a band called Friends Of Emmet (www.friendsofemmet.com) who are trying to raise funds for suicide awareness.

Do you mind if I plagiarise your post and link on my FB page? I'll try and get as many people as possible to share. It might not help but you never know.

iMax

Work away, the more people that know about it, the better. The media won't go near them for some reason.

Here's the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65Zqs8z3xv4

This needs to be pushed & hard. This coming summer/autumn, these guys are hitting 60 colleges & highschools putting on a show & doing a presentation with Kevin Hines, Ben Folds is also on the tour. They're also supporting Aaron Lewis (Stained) on a short tour next month.

The reaction on the last tour (where they played to over 10,000) was fantastic, they were interviewed on major TV & radio networks, in print, yet everytime they approach Irish media to highlight the cause, they're ignored.

They have the mantra "Not talking about it isn't helping", unfortunately that's the view that Irish Media (& some charities) are taking.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Friends-Of-Emmet/122873761077044

Disclaimer: I'm not in the band but am friends with them.

andyman

Raze_them_all wrote: »

Tbh i don't entirely blame the teachers, I blame the school system itself, there has to be accepted guidelines thats currently been thought to them. Also in my opinion it comes with teaching young males and females the same which is a big mistake, in my time in school and my experience with being bullied I've only ever come across one teacher who actually got to the bottom of stuff and that may of been because she would know my mother and is related to my cousins.

There's always going to be bullys but the advise they give is completely stupid, I remember once I was told to walk away....yeah walking away from someone who's hitting you will help.... In my experience fighting back even if you lose is a much better deterrent to bullies

This, if you get a couple of good hits in you'll sure guarantee that they'll think twice about hitting you again.

fabbydabby

Anyone who thinks that bullying = simply giving a weedy kid a few thumps doesn't know much about it.

It's a hell of a lot harder for a victim to 'fight back' against passive/aggressive behaviour, exclusion, cyber bullying and psychological torture.

Raze_them_all

fabbydabby wrote: »

Anyone who thinks that bullying = simply giving a weedy kid a few thumps doesn't know much about it.

It's a hell of a lot harder for a victim to 'fight back' against passive/aggressive behaviour, exclusion, cyber bullying and psychological torture.

Never said thats all it was, i said hitting them back is the best way of stoppinbg it. At some stage voloence is brought into it. It's like the video thats doing the rounds latley of the kid that has been getting bullied for ages that fought back, you can bet the kid(who's about half his size) won't be too quick to start on him again

fabbydabby

That is an overly simplistic and fundamentally flawed view of a highly complex issue.

Raze_them_all

fabbydabby wrote: »

That is an overly simplistic and fundamentally flawed view of a highly complex issue.

I'm speaking from 4 years of experience.

holyhead

All our actions happen for a reason. That reason may not be obvious to others or make sense. If someone chooses to end their life, then something is obviously wrong in their lives. I don't accept families who come out and say that nothing was wrong. Of course something was wrong. Men often don't talk about their feelings. When a guy breaks up with a girl he usually puts on a macho front. When a girl breaks up with a guy she has a conference with all her girl friends. With the rise in unemployment and the erosion in the traditional roles that males play in society are all contributing to this national crises we are experiencing. Suicide must never be glamourised but equally those have lets say pyschological issues must never be stygmatised. This is a complex issue and only the person who commits suicide can truly say why they have done. Sympathies to the family and friends of this young man. May he RIP.

Plug

I was at the funeral yesterday. I can say its the saddest I was ever at. The poor kid had his whole life ahead of him and now he has left a mother and 3 brothers and a baby sister at home. No mother should have to bury there son especially to suicide.
I know them well and they are a great family, I was only talking to the young lad a few weeks ago and to say this was going to happen was unimaginable. He looked happy and was having a good time. The thing is ya don't know whats happening in peoples heads:(
Worst thing to do is bottle something up, even if you feel a bit depressed just talk to a friend or maybe go to a councillor. Talking out helps a lot!
I would hate to see another person just become a statistic.
May that poor kid RIP.

pueblo

Firstly my thoughts are with anyone touched by suicide.

I believe suicide among young people is a symptom of a general malaise which seems to be affecting young people today. It seems so many struggle to establish an identity or sense of purpose?

While there are of course a myriad of person specific unique factors for each suicidal person and each person is different there also seems to be a pattern emerging.

As to the causes they are probably many and varied but perhaps we don't have to look too far from home for some of the answers?