Advice needed bout OH's friend

mollybird

didn't know where to go to get advice on this matter, thought this would be the best place.....

currently my OH has only got 2 mates. his closest mate lives here in dublin. ive known him longer than ive known my OH actually funnily enough. we had a falling out years ago and were up front an honest bout it when i got with my fella and been seriously close ever since.

now before i go any futher. nothing has ever gone on about us and i don't fancy him in the least. he is like a brother to me.

my fella's mate met this girl and she is lovely. took me a bit to warm up to her but once i did we got on great. me and the guy chatted online every day and always there to give each other advice on stuff if needed. anyhow my fella's mate got married in sept to the girl and they asked me to do a reading at the service. was really touched by the offer. i personally found the day a bit hard as ive been going out with my OH longer and thought we would get married first. the week before they got married, the girl even sent me some wedding stuff for the location that i want to get married.

day after the marrige the guy found out he lost his job. i said to my OH that if it ever came to them having to move out they could move in with us. everything turned out ok for them. but since they got married ive barely heard from either of them. we were over for their's on new years eve. nice evening but again i had another tiff with my OH and i was extreamly sick the next day. my OH even said i prob had a bad reaction to something i either ate or drank. i apologised and sent them both a txt later that night after i came round. saying was really sorry for ruining their new years etc etc. now friends being friends i would have thought they wouldn't think any more of it. but i have not heard from them since. it's been over 2 months and not a word.
i'm really hurt over it and my OH hasn't even had the balls to ask his mate why he/they are treating me like this. i know if any of my mates treated him like that id be all over it. we may have a wedding to go to later this year with them and i don't want to go, for other reasons.

should i ask my OH why he not bothered to ask his mate why he being such a **** or should i deal with it myself?? but really what i'm trying to say is i'm pissed off with my OH that he not had the balls to sort his mate out.

anyhow sorry for the long rant. any advice would be great. thanks

AnonoBoy

You're presuming that you haven't heard from them because they don't want to talk to you.

They could be thinking the same thing about you guys - why haven't they got in touch with us?

Before you go accusing them of acting like d*cks maybe you should contact them, see if they want to do something with you guys and take it from there.

It's really not that uncommon for a newly married couple to retreat into their own little bubble for a while.

tinkerbell

You had a fight with your OH in their house on New Years Eve? Maybe that's why they haven't called you as they are uncomfortable that you were rowing in front of them?

And anyway, why haven't YOU contacted them? It's not up to your OH to sort out your falling outs, you know. You are as much their friend as he is their friend. You say you're pissed off with your OH to sort it out and that he doesn't have the balls to sort it out. Why can't you sort out your own drama?

ElleEm

The bloke isn't just your boyfriend's friend, by the sounds of it, he was your friend too. You were talkin every day! Contact him yourself- it's you who feels there is a problem. You're an adult.

Azureus

Agree with all of the above advice! You specifically say that you were good friends with him so you should be able to sort any grievances that you have with them out yourself. Its nothing to do with your OH so no, you shouldn't ask him to sort it out, and you definately shouldnt be annoyed with him over it like you say you are!

Call them. Talk. Sort it out like a grown up.

MissFlitworth

Definitely agree with you giving them a buzz and finding out what the problem is. You may have done something when you were drunk on New Years eve that you and your OH don't remember but that p1ssed them off.

Has your OH heard from them either? It could be a case that they have things going on in their lives that's just stopping them from being in touch, sometimes people just drop out of the loop.

Either way this is your issue & not your OHs

mollybird

ya will sort it out myself. my OH is in contact with this mate all the time. it's me he not been in contact with, but OH did mention after new year, that his friend was asking how i was doing after i was soo sick. why didn't he just ask me himself!!!

cantdecide

My bet is that this is much simpler than you think. They might be a little upset with you after the row on New Years. There is probably still a small touch of fence mending to be done on your part. With your long friendships, I'd expect them to let by gones be by gones.

You'll have to be the one to initiate a reconciliation though, IMO.

Neyite

You need to talk, not text this couple - if someone ruined my first new year as a married couple with a big row, I would expect an apology in person, not a text.

the guy enquired afterwards if you were ok - that does not sound like a guy holding a massive grudge. I think you might be reading too much into it.

dellas1979

Erm...why dont you just contact him if its that important?

There could be a list as long as my arm as to why "he" doesnt contact you.

Im sorry if I sound a little confrontive here molly, but you seem a little high maintenance??? YOU didnt like her at first (but its ok - now you do - was the limelight taken off you?). HE has to contact you? YOU fought in THEIR house with your BF (who he is good mates with). YOU wont go to another wedding (oh but for other reasons). Am I missing something here, or do ya want the whole world revolving around you?

bert61

nice tips

booboo88

so you had a hissy fit with ur boyfriend on new years and expect them to still want to be friends? ppl just dont need crap like that, u keep ur arguments private end of