How to tell friend/landlord I want to move home

sitstill

Ok so here's the deal - I'm sharing an apartment with my friend and have been for about a year and a half now. She owns it and I pay rent to her. I love living there and we get on so well. But I want to move home for a few months because I'm trying to save to go travelling and it's almost impossible to do so with paying rent.

I think my friend kinds needs the money I pay her in rent and as we've been friends for a long time, I don't want to fall out with her when I drop the bomb shell that I'm moving home.

What do I do? How do I broach the topic with her? Thanks

Azureus

If she is your friend, I really dont see where the big deal is. Im assuming she knows you plan to go travelling, surely you can just tell her straight that you dont have the finances to live there aswell as save to go abroad.

Do you have a lease or is it just a friendly agreement between the two of you?

It was her choice to buy an apartment, something that presumably wasn't totally based on the fact that you would be subisdising her mortgage repayments, so you have no obligations to the place, other than to give her suitable notice to allow her to find another tenant if that is what she wishes to do. Sit down, explain your situation and see what the two of you can work out, preferably sooner rather than later.

sitstill

Thanks. We have a lease to keep it all official and it says I have to give a months notice.

Larianne

Once you give her enough notice, there is nothing else you can do.

Azureus

In that case, just sit down and chat to her and say you are giving your notice. Again, the more notice the better but a month at least to keep within the realms of your lease.

Problem solved. Im sure there wont be any issues with it Good luck.

mood

All she need to do is put an ad on daft and she should find someone to replace you. It's not your responsibility to pay rent so she can pay her mortgage.

ladysarastro

In all fairness if she knows you want to go travelling then she must of already prepared a plan for when you do leave. Your just going sooner than expected

LighterGuy

I know where you are coming from op. You feel you are in a situation that could cause a falling out... but ...

Nothing you can do beyond just giving her a months notice. Dont worry about falling out. Life is about doing the things you want to do. Travelling in your case. So you gotta move out to financially make that happen. If she doesnt like that you're moving out, aka having to pay the full mortgage until a new tenant arrives, well tough.

This situation doesnt have to turn nasty. Its just two people who want different things. The only one thing that can be said is that if this causes a falling out ... shes not your friend.

AnonoBoy

Give her more than the month's notice if you can. At least that way you give your friend a better chance to find another tenant and not be down on rent for as long.

Beyond that you just have to broach it as tactfully as possible. Tell her you're going to go travelling and are saving for that and, as much as you enjoy living with her, you're going to regrettably have to move home to save the cash.

solovely

I know it must be stressful. I had a similar situation, with one of my really good friends moving out of my place to move in with her boyfriend. I could tell when she told me that she had been dreading it. Obviously I was sad as I knew I would never find somebody as good as her to replace her, but I was also delighted for her that she was doing something that made her happy, and glad that she had told me ages (about 3 months) in advance, as it showed huge respect for me as a friend (rather than just a landlady).

I did get somebody else in, OK it hasn't been the same as having her here, but I am getting rent in, so I can't complain.

I do resent the assumption made by Azureus, that y

you would be subisdising her mortgage

. I'm sure everyone acknowledges that paying rent to a friend who owns the property is a two way beneficial agreement, and not one friend merely subsidising another???

But my advice would be to give her as much notice as possible, broach it sensitively, offer to help out any way you can (cleaning up your room, making it available for viewings, etc) to help find someone new. OK, it may not be necessary as other have pointed out, to go the extra mile, but for the sake of a long term friendship I'm sure you can go the little bit extra that you wouldn't go for with a normal landlady. You were and will be friends long before and after you were landlady and tenant, so it's definitely not worth falling out over. Your friend will see this too. If she is anything like me, it wont be the financial aspect she will be upset over, it will be the thought of losing a friend for every day stuff and the thought of having to face a stranger every day, so just bear that in mind. But it is your life, and I'm sure she will be thrilled for you!!

Hope you have an amazing time travelling. Good luck

Azureus

solovely wrote: »

I do resent the assumption made by Azureus, that 'you would be subsidising the mortgage'. I'm sure everyone acknowledges that paying rent to a friend who owns the property is a two way beneficial agreement, and not one friend merely subsidising another???

Not to deviate from the advice here, but if you read my post in full, I was clearly just saying that the friend/landlady would not have bought the house on the basis that the friend would be paying rent to subsidise the mortgage, therefore she does not need to worry about coming across as undependable/feel like she is letting her friend down by moving out.