He doesnt do anything

LegacyUser

My bf and i have been living together for 6 months and he never cleans up!!!
He would accumulate all the dirty dishes and food and food wraps all in the kitchen.
Growing mould and whatever else and finally cleans them (ie. once a week or maybe longer)after me having to constantly ask him to.

I have made it clear on several occasions telling him i want to keep the apartment clean but it seem to make little or no effect.
Cleaning dishes is his duty while i clean clothes and fold his clothes for him.

He was always good at cleaing dishes right after dinner till we moved in together...
He said it was because he was a guest then.
what a joke.. right??

i am a full time student ... on my last year and the pressure is getting high while he works on weekends.
He does nothing all day except going on baords, and play playstation and it beginning to get on my nerves.

I hate looking at the stupid kitchen but i dont want to do all the work since i am not obliged to. Afterall ... all i am to him is his gf. We split the rent and everything else ..Hello!!

is it just me or what ...
I dont know what to do.
Please help!!

Ickle Magoo

I don't think telling another adult what to do ever works - you need to sit down and work out a roster of some kind together and you need to stress how much this bothers you and the consequences of it not being adhered to ie, you move out.

Try to work out what chores you both mind least and both agree to do your fair share - if he can't or won't then you have two choices...live with it or don't live with him.

All the best

LegacyUser

I once had a boyfriend like this. I realised after we had broken up that he had been depressed during when we lived together, so I thought that might be something you should consider. Maybe there is something wrong. Ask him.

I had just thought he was being a lazy bastard so I gave him a very hard time and kicked him out... Regret it now in hindsight because I know what he was going through and there were many underlying issues concerning his family etc.

Azureus

His attitude is probably similar to your own but in reverse ie 'I pay half the rent, so I'm doing things my way and in my time'. Before he moved in, as he said himself, he was in guest mode, so cleaned up after himself. Now he is in his own space and doesnt feel the need to be as diligent.

The problem is it's not totally his own space, its half his own space, and he has to respect those around him aswell (you!). I think similar issues crop up in every relationship when you move in together and its just a matter of drawing up agreements and sticking to them. My boyfriend is very similar to be honest, but I'm very laid back so it doesnt actually bother me in the slightest, now we just turn it into a game/fun rather than stressing over it. Ie, playing pool and I win=he cooks dinner that night, or he pays for cinema=I'll clean up that weekend. We have a rota for most chores and if one of us deviates from it, there is a forfeit (ie forget to clean the dishes tonight and you have to clean them every night next week etc)

You'll slip into your own living together groove soon enough, you're still early days into the move at six months. Good luck, and dont sweat the small stuff