Want to drop out of college, worried about reaction. mainly mother

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this one guys!

I'm currently in the second year of my course and have lost all interest in it. I want to drop out and be done with it, but as it is only a 3 year course, a lot of friends are suggesting I just work through the last year and get my degree/cert/whatever.
The main problem is with my parents, mainly my mam. I'm currently living away from home (about 30 minutes away), but will be moving back in August. She does not want me to leave. I've mentioned this to her before, and the reponse I get is "YOURE GOING TO COLLEGE, GO TO YOUR LECTURES." She never went to college, but my dad is doing a PLC atm. She is of the mindset of secondary school still. In other words, if you dont go to every single class you will get kicked out and so on. Never willing to listen to me when I explain it doesnt work like that anymore.

What makes this harder is that I've already left a course before.
I went straight from secondary to college, but my chosen course ended up being a nightmare of maths and physics, and not the computer and media I wanted. I changed courses to a multimedia course. For the first year of it (last year), everything was fine. Passed all my exams and enjoyed myself. But now we come to second year, when I moved out. The coursework immediatly changed to developing media apps, instead of designing and editing the media itself. Image and video editing became making an application to edit images, and very quickly fell into the programming and maths that I hated from my original course. Classes have just become all about pgramming and maths, and there is no more of the design and creativity that I enjoyed, and there wont be for the rest of the course.

Many of my friends in the class have dropped out because of this, and I want to follow them. But my mother believe I should finish it, get high marks and do everything else possible. If I take a day off to relax she would see me, and then ring asking "Why aren't you in college? You should be attending your classes!"
I want to drop out, take a year to lose weight and get some money together, and then complete a PLC about media and journalism (have always wanted media and/or journalism).
I'm the eldest, and the one setting the example for my younger brothers so it's like she thinks I have to do everything right and just isn't willing to listen to reason. Like she doesn't want me to be the son who dropped out of two courses to do a PLC.

Sorry for the big long post, but I've been tossing this around for a while. I could have applied for the PLC in january but didn't out of fear of what she would say. Currently have a 20hourperweek part time job which I am secure in. I don't know whether I should drop out and take the year to wind down and get stuff together (which is what I want to do), or power through the remainder of the course while unhappy?

Any advice or help greatly appreciated, can provide more info if ye need it.

hi OP

tbh since you've dropped out before and you are considering taking up yet another course, I would strongly advise sticking it out for the year.
I would also suggest going to your lectures. While it's not attendance based, they will be necessary for info.
A lot of stuff you are doing now may seem irrelevant, but if you wanted to stick with media maybe it would be useful. I don't know about the area.
Your friends dropping out is not a good excuse for you to drop out.
You can lose weight while in college

What is going to happen when you move into journalism and decide something else is wrong and you want to drop out of that?

Honestly I think it would be better for you to finish something and THEN decide if you want the plc. A track record of dropping out of courses isn't going to look good to anyone in the future.

Finally for programming, there is a surprising amount of creativity. If you are as into the stuff as you say, why don't you do your other creativity stuff in the off time while you still have access to the software at college?


edit: also frankly this business of "i want to take a day off to relax and my mother is being unreasonable" sounds a tad, em, immature. Do you have a job? How are your grades with these days off?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply!
My original first course was along the same lines as my current one for one or two classes, so I was allowed carry marks over. It was more of a course transfer than dropping out of it.

To give an example of my actual coursework now, the stuff I want to do is editing images, video etc and I've been getting some journalism experience writing stuff for the college paper. The coursework has gone from the editing to now programming databases and phone apps, something I have no interest whatsoever in.

I didn't mean to use the friends dropping out as an excuse, what I meant was that they have also come to the same decision. No interest in programming or databases, and now there's no more media to cover. The lose weight thing is something I've wanted to do, but I'd be in college 9 - 5 and then work afterwards. My spare time is being spent forcing myself through assignments I don't understand or have an interest in. My lecturers have tried helping but its gotten to the stage of "I can't help you like it unfortunately." They've confirmed the rest of the course is programming and computer databases.

I have access to all the software on my own laptop. I'm not into programming at all, it was my weakness for the last two years and it remains in. Programming comes in different languages. Imagine being taught spanish for two years, and then being told for second year you're gonna be taught german and french at the same time. Thats whats the different programming languages are ending up like.

The PLC is just a one-year deal.
I did phrase it a bit immaturely there. What I meant was that if I'm spotted outside of college during college hours, I get the spanish inquisition on the phone as to why I wasn't there. Classes can be cancelled and lecturers don't show up, and I'm questioned as to what reason the lecturer gave. Stuff like that. There's a one-year add on to course and she's telling people "oh yes he'll be doing the extra year as well".
I have a part-time job, 20 hours per week for over a year now. Haven't missed a day. Originally it was cutting into college hours last year but that was sorted out. It's resulted in me having to work 6 days a week sometimes to cover the 20 hours of work and not miss college. Without the job, I wouldn't be able to pay my way through the course.

unreggd

Hi OP,

Im in the same boat as you. My Dad lives by the old "you have to go go to college, end of story" motto, which is complete BS

I dropped out of 2 PLCs, then worked for 2 years, and now I'm back doin IT Full Time

But again, I've decided even though I love IT, its not what I wanna do long term

Do what you want. You're the one who's gonna be living your life, not your parents.
Its not like you want to drop out to go on the dole, or just work any old job for money long term

Media [same industry I'm goin into] is a more freelanced industry, so PLCs are actually better, they're more focused on what you wanna do. Thats the sole reason I didnt take my place on a media degree, you HAVE TO cover EVERYTHING!

Still, definitely finish the year you're in now. Theres only 2 months left til exams

And plan ahead. Don't just think about college courses, but think about the exact job you'd like to be doin, and suss it out. See where you could be workin, as people in them jobs now how they got into it / how it actually is.

About the attendance thing, yes, we dont HAVE to go to class in college, but it really does make a difference when you start missin lectures.

Contessa Raven

Hi OP,

My advice would be to stick it out for the full course. Normally I would say that you shouldn't stay with something you aren't enjoying but think about it:

- Dropping out of two courses will not look good when applying for a job/place in a PLC course. It may make the interviewers think that you can't stick at anything.

- You say that there won't be anymore creative modules for the rest of the course. (I'm not sure how you know this for definite.) Obviously the maths and the programming is "need to know" stuff for this particular career. When you graduate, if you get a job in this career, you can be as creative as you want.

- You want to take some time to lose weight.
Like Bluewolf said, you can lose weight in college. It's all about adapting a new lifestyle.

I also think that being creative in your down time is a good idea. If you create/develop something really cool in your downtime that shows the skills you have, it's another thing for the C.V and to show in an interview in future. It would also look really good to the prospective employers that you spent your down time being creative.

I did my Leaving Cert in 2005 and failed. So I went back and repeated 6th year after the summer. Over the course of the summer, the department of education had changed the Geography, History and Biology courses for students doing the Leaving from 2006 onwards. This meant I had to do 2 years work in these subjects in just one year. It was really hard.

I then went for a PLC when leaving school and in the interview they asked me about my exams. I told them I had previously failed them and that I repeated them the following year, to which the interviewer replied "Wow. That was very diligent of you." I think this is what secured my place in the course. I was able to show them that I had the drive to do my best even if it meant starting all over again.

Sticking with your course will show that you have a drive to succeed even if it is something you aren't particularly fond of. You can always go on to do a different course afterwards. I have a friend (in his late 20's - it's never too late) who has two diplomas and a degree, all in different areas because he didn't know what he wanted to do. It has left him with lots of options and a better idea of what he doesn't want to do.

In the end you will make your own decision but I just wanted to show how sticking with this could benefit you in the long run.

Best of luck in your decision.

CR

LegacyUser

Thanks for the responses!

The part-time job atm would like me to be able to work more hours and increase my knowledge at the job but I told them college comes first for the moment.

I understand how bad dropping out would look on a CV, its one of the worries I have about this situation.

I could get top of the class for this course, do the add-on, and then be told "Yeah we just need you to make this app and design this database with that coding." And thats the part I cannot stand.

At the moment my mind is set on working towards the upcoming summer exams, repeating what I need to in August and see what happens. If I pass em, grand. If I don't, I have no desire to repeat the year. Next year is half free semester (designed for work experience, but theres none to get) so I wouldn't have the roughest year.

I'm leaning towards just pushing my way through it as much as I hate it, but wanted other opinions on it. Thanks again for the responses!

Firetrap

I think you should stick it out if you can. Leaving two courses in quick succession does give the impression that you're the sort of person who goes missing when things get tough. Perhaps that is not the case but it will look like that to someone looking at a CV or application form. I'm wondering does your mother have an inkling that you'd like to quit again and that that is why she's behaving like this? What also strikes me is that twice you've gone for courses which didn't turn out like what you expected them to? Should you not have known this before they started? Perhaps too, despite you thinking that they have no relevance to what you're doing, they do?

Your plans for what to do if you did drop out sound kind of vague too. It's like you're looking for excuses to leave e.g. losing the weight, getting stuff together. Really, if you can at all finish the course you should. You can always do the PLC or other courses after that. Having the piece of paper that you'll have if you finish this course will do you absolutely no harm and in fact could open more doors for you.

Curry Addict

you sound very immature. after taking the easy route already and dropping out of your first course u didnt reasearch the course content of the 2nd course and just walked into it blindly...
all 3rd level courses require blood sweat and tears to get through, they dont give that piece of paper at the end for nothing.
the future and present of multimedia is very software based and obviously these skills are difficult but necessary to learn.
there are probaly no 3rd level courses out there where you will like all the content.
your mother is probably aware that you are a bit imature and a lightweight and is only trying in her own way to keep you on track.

look at the course as a means to an end. get that piece of paper and u will be able to work in multimedia at what ever aspect of it you actually enjoy.

Chuchoter

2 half done courses and a PLC is going to look horrendous OP, and frankly if you quit this you'll quit everything. You are never going to find a course you love every single aspect of, just work through it.

i-digress

Curry Addict wrote: »

there are probaly no 3rd level courses out there where you will like all the content.

Plus one to this. I was lucky enough to do a degree and master's in an area I love, but there were elements of the course I disliked. An entire module on medieval farming in Europe. Irish medieval history. And historiography which I found very difficult, and wanted to pack the whole thing in. And this was my dream course.

Everything in life has aspects that suck. My husband is a journalist, and the freelance end is badly paid and unreliable. He's had to read up on a lot of technical info and get more software savvy, and now he's getting better jobs.

It's not easy to keep going when things get tough, but I agree with Contessa Raven. Struggling through the tough bits makes you more employable and desirable for any company.

LegacyUser

Curry Addict wrote: »

you sound very immature. after taking the easy route already and dropping out of your first course u didnt reasearch the course content of the 2nd course and just walked into it blindly...
all 3rd level courses require blood sweat and tears to get through, they dont give that piece of paper at the end for nothing.
the future and present of multimedia is very software based and obviously these skills are difficult but necessary to learn.
there are probaly no 3rd level courses out there where you will like all the content.
your mother is probably aware that you are a bit imature and a lightweight and is only trying in her own way to keep you on track.

look at the course as a means to an end. get that piece of paper and u will be able to work in multimedia at what ever aspect of it you actually enjoy.

I'll be honest here, while I appreciate the overall comments advice from everyone, I don't appreciate the immature, lightweight or easy route comments.

I worked at the first course and passed it's first year. I transferred to the multimedia course because I was more interested in media and did not want to continue a course of programming and maths. My desicion of my first course was down to not getting my first CAO choice, and it was a bad second pick I'll admit. I hadn't investigated it fully.
I learned my lesson for the second course. I transferred over having gotten all the information I could from the college, from lecturers and from current students. All of them confirmed it was about image editing, flash videos, video editing and designing websites. All of the stuff I wanted to do. The problem was the class titles or lecturers never let on that databases form the major course content once you hit second year. I passed the basic programming with flying colours because I passed it in my first course, and then passed every single class for my first year. Then lecturers didnt show up, and the curriculum had to change mid-course. We were taught closest to what the available lecturers knew about the course. The maths and databases are the ones causing me problems.

I've already stated above that I am gonna be working towards passing. I'm working 20 hours a week, living away from home all while studying through a course I can no longer stand. I did not take the easy route, and while I appreciate the advice and agree that its hard work for that piece of paper, I don't appreciate the lightweight and immature comments.

Chinafoot

OP, the jobs market is still a very tough place at the moment. You said yourself that there is no work experience to be had so how are you going to get employment on a fulltime basis when you have no qualifications behind you.

I would also be of the opinion that there is no point in doing a course you don't like. However, in this case I do think you should finish. In this day and age college is very important and I would urge anyone to finish their degree and get that piece of paper. When you're competing against people with experience and qualifications, having two unfinished courses on your CV will ensure yours is binned. Not completing the courses will make you look like someone who is not able to commit to anything and that isn't exactly a desirable trait in a potential employee.

Media can be a hard industry to break into and the jobs aren't exactly plentiful at the best of times. If it is genuinely where you want to go I would suggest you finish this degree and then apply for a PLC in something that you think will be more suited to the area you want to be in. Have you considered that the direction the course has taken is the way this area of the industry is going and that this is stuff that will be beneficial for you in your future employment. You are not going to love every single aspect of every course you do and bailing out, again, isnt going to be of any benefit.

As for your mother, I think you are being very unfair in saying that she has a secondary school mentality. College isn't some free for all where you can just turn up when you like. What benefit do you think you get from skipping your lectures? Just because there isn't an attendance requirement doesn't mean it's alright to just take a day off to "relax". Thats what your weekends are for. You should be going to every class that you have, particularly aspects that you don't quite get.

OP, you need to be realistic and a lot more mature in your approach to this. I would recommend you finish, but if you are intent on dropping out I would suggest you have a back-up plan (including a plan to pay for it) in place before approaching your parents.

spinandscribble

I would echo the fact not every course will perfectly suit your interested the whole time and you need to face that reality. you only have a year left and you'll have a qualification after.

I'm sorry but losing weight ect are things in life you can't just quit college/work to handle, you need to toughen up and fit those things into your life... you say you're not immature but thats all i'm getting from your posts. Fair enough the first course did not suit you but surely you looked at the modules/course before you applied?

greenprincess

Stick it out. It sounds stupid but any degree really is better then no degree!! I have meet people working in finance with degrees in nursing!!

There were parts of my course i hated but just stick and work in somethin u like when your finished

Curry Addict

collegeworried wrote: »

I'll be honest here, while I appreciate the overall comments advice from everyone, I don't appreciate the immature, lightweight or easy route comments.

im sure u are mature in many aspects of life so dont take these comments to heart. its just the area of education and what it takes to succeed, the trade offs etc. and the bigger picture of life in this area. its totally understandable so no need to take it as a negative.

1st year of college is a leveller and brings everyone to a basic standard so its usually easy enough. 2nd year is a different story and usually the bar is raised a heafty amount and the more mundane subjets are covered and the bulk of the learning of the whole course is done. 3rd year is usually much better balanced with projects and more interesting material.

long time ago i felt the same as you do in second year. after working in the area i studied for 20 odd years i can honestly say that its nothing like i imagined in college and not sure that 3/4 of the crap i learnt in college has much relevence at all

last year i had the same issue with my son. it was all too much boring crap and wanted to bail in 2nd year. after a long discussion and soul searching he was happy to go back. it was clear he wouldnt pass his exams but we said, sure do your best and you can repeat the year and hopefully if u pass a few subjects this time, u can have an easy year next year and repeat the few you failed. so this year he has to do just 2 subjects and hes having a great time with little pressure. next year he can comfort himself as hes well in sight of the finish line.

when he finishes next year he will have learned some lessons in life and will have a great confidence boost for the rest of his life.

sorry if i came across a bit harsh im my 1st post and hope this helps a little in making your decision. good luck with whatever u do

Firetrap

collegeworried wrote: »

I'll be honest here, while I appreciate the overall comments advice from everyone, I don't appreciate the immature, lightweight or easy route comments

None of us know what you are like as a person but it is worth taking on board the negative comments. People have said these things here going by what's in black and white in front of them. Just like a prospective employer or someone running another course will.

Distorted

I'm not sure how many jobs there are in multimedia where you don't need to be able to programme to a reasonably advanced level in a variety of languages though? And yes, programming requires a good knowledge of maths! What is it you want to do? Design games or websites? Are you even thinking about what job you will get at the end of this, or would you be happy as a non-graduate maybe staying in your part-time job with extended hours? What happens when this gets more challenging or changes? Most jobs have parts you don't like and if you don't want to be sacked, you just have to be determined and take the rough with the smooth.

An employer hearing you explain this kind of stuff is simply going to hear that you dropped out of two college courses and are a quitter. And journalism has plenty of boring parts in the course too. Although you don't need a journalism degree to be a journalist...

I think its great that your college is actually teaching you maths and different programming languages as part of this course. My boyfriend runs a small electronics company and struggled recently to get a C++ programmer with some hardware experience. There were so many graduates with very general skills of little practical application in the workplace who couldn't programme competently.

Is it realistic to expect to get a job doing what you enjoy anyway? If I could choose, I would get paid for going out running, or going out on my bike, or maybe going shopping in Harrods or something, but thats not realistic so I did law.

Crea

You need to figure out what kind of a job you want when you finish with all this stuff. If you want a job in media then you need to stick with this course. They are obviously teaching you the things you need to know to work in all areas of this field. You don't like programming but you will need this for web design for example. Also, which do you think would look better to an employer a college degree or a plc qualification? In the current economic climate you need to get the best qualification you can get.

Naikon

Chinafoot wrote: »

Not completing the courses will make you look like someone who is not able to commit to anything and that isn't exactly a desirable trait in a potential employee.

This is based on the assumption that you list the course dates on your CV/employer rings the said college(unlikely). What if the op decides to transfer ects credits to a new program and start again? In the end, most employers only want to see what you graduated with, not how long it took you. As time goes on, stuff like this will not apply. A CV is about selling yourself. It's not a life story. How many CV's out there are a 100% true reflection of an individual? I'm guessing very few. OP, give the course your best shot, wait for results, then decide a course of action. Try not to take misinformation such as the above to heart. Good luck.

Firetrap

That is true too but that then leaves the OP with a gap to fill on their CV. I assume they'll have to be truthful about what year they did the Leaving Cert. They've then got at least two empty years to explain before they do the PLC. You're getting into the realm of having to lie then. Never a good thing.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Chinafoot

Naikon wrote: »

This is based on the assumption that you list the course dates on your CV/employer rings the said college(unlikely). What if the op decides to transfer ects credits to a new program and start again? In the end, most employers only want to see what you graduated with, not how long it took you. As time goes on, stuff like this will not apply. A CV is about selling yourself. It's not a life story. How many CV's out there are a 100% true reflection of an individual? I'm guessing very few. OP, give the course your best shot, wait for results, then decide a course of action. Try not to take misinformation such as the above to heart. Good luck.

Ha! You accuse me of misinformation while basically telling the OP to lie on her CV about what she's been at for the last 2 years.

In an interview there is the enormous likelihood that she will be asked what she did during the gap between her leaving cert and the beginning of the 3rd course, should she drop out. If she is honest and says she was doing not one but two courses she didn't enjoy and decided to bail, then yes she will look like someone who can't commit to anything. But then again, if she takes your advice she should just lie. Let me guess, "I've been travelling for the last 2 years....yeah, in Australia.." :rolleyes:

The issue here isn't just about the gap on her CV, but its the fact that she seems unwilling to accept that if this is the area she wants to go into then there are certain aspects of the course that she needs to get through, regardless of her not liking them/not wanting to go into those specific areas of employment. Those giving the course will know far more about the industry than the OP will, they will know what their students need to have covered in order to work in the area, and its incredibly immature to just bail each time it gets a bit hard or each time the OP has to do something that holds no interest for her.