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Friend too Needy but I'm too soft!

  • 19-03-2011 12:34am
    #1
    gaeilgegrinds1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,071 ✭✭✭


    Ok so I'll keep this brief. A colleague and friend of mine has been through a rough time lately, I've really been there for her but lately she's been organising loads of nights out etc without asking me. When I asked why that was she said she finds it hard to be around constantly happy people like me and just prefers to be able to vent. What the hell?! I invited this woman to our house on Christmas Day! I went out of my way for her. And now I'm getting disincluded. I feel happy for her getting her social life back but why she has to disinclude me in really baffling and leaves me feeling bitter towards her after all I did. Any thoughts?


Comments

  • #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 3,505 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    If it were a one-on-one situation she was avoiding then that would be ok. But blatantly excluding you from a group situation? That's extremely unfair and selfish. I know you say she's been through a tough time recently, but excluding you to make herself feel better is unacceptable.

    The finding it hard to be around someone who's happy thing is an excuse. I would say it's probably jealousy that when you're the life and soul she feels like people aren't paying her enough attention, or if her recent hardship is something everyone knows about, maybe people aren't being as sympathetic to her when they're being distracted into having a good time. I know it sounds harsh, and I'm sure she is genuinely upset or whatever, but putting you into a position where you're being isolated as a result of her trying to make herself feel better is unacceptable. And that the reason is you're too happy? Come on, no matter how much compassion she needs at the moment, you know it doesn't make it ok to leave you out.


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