Too Much Time Alone

LegacyUser

I feel as though I spend a lot of time alone and I'd love to know if other people are similar.
I'm living alone about a year now and was living with a boyfriend for many years before that and I'm worried that in time I'll become weird and isolated!!

Its not something I'm down about but I am aware of it and I'd say my very few friends might think its weird. My money has to be spent on rent and bills so I've no money to go out. I probably only go out about once or twice a month and I make very little effort to hook up with friends. They are desperate for men so I find this extremely off putting as I am not.

It has happened that I've spent full weekends alone and just do my own thing. Like I say it doesn't bring me down but its far from ideal. I'd eventually like a bf but I'm not gonna kill myself or go way out of my way about it.

So is this too much time alone or anyone else similar?

miec

Hi Op

I am in similar position to you, sometimes though it really bothers me, I moved to where I am with my ex, and as such don't know many people where I live, plus I have no contact with family so yes, I spend a lot of time in my own company at the moment. Plus I don't have money to go out at weekends and besides I am a little too old for that now so it is not really an option.

cantdecide

I wouldn't consider myself the most outgoing guy in the world and I value my time alone but I rented a place on my own once and hated every minute. To me, it didn't feel natural.

I know where you're coming from when you say you don't want to bend over backwards to make and preserve friendships and relationships. I won't make a fool of myself chasing after anyone that doesn't appreciate my company. Equally, I won't run off with the first girl that bats her eyelids at me. I'm not going to run off with the wrong girl just not to be alone. I think it's a personal standards thing. Having said that, I know too that my happiness is worth putting some work and risk into. It's a balance.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I think that my situation is similar to yours only slightly different.... I am on my own 6 days a week in a one bedroom apartment. My partner is only home one day a week and that day varies every week so I could end up being in work on that day for example. As a result I spend most of my time on my own, not much of a life but I have my own activities to keep me busy.

I would say to you take this time to invest in things you enjoy, maybe pick up one of those hobby magazines that catches your eye, get into things you used to enjoy when you were younger (for example I took up knitting and embroidery, it sounds grannyish but it's actually great really!)

Aside from that, unless you are truly cutting yourself off from society I wouldn't say worry. Keep in touch with your friends though, the weather is getting better so yuo might be interested in mountain walking or strolling about the neighbourhood some days.

My advice> Be your own best friend. Reacquaint yourself with the things you used to do before your partner but above all keep your friends and family in your life!

LegacyUser

If you want to spend more time with your friends you don't necessarily have to spend a load of money going out drinking/clubbing. As it's coming into summer time you could ask if any of them are interested in going to the likes of the botanical gardens, having a picnic in a park, rollerblading/running/walking etc. Or you could just invite them around to watch a movie or have dinner/drinks in (maybe suggest a weeknight if their weekends are for 'man-hunting!').

Or if you'd really prefer to have more company on a regular basis would you consider moving to a new place where you'd have house/flatmates? Although I'd imagine after living alone that may end up being more of a nuisance than anything else!