Labels and how we use them

diddlybit

Idenity labels are like Marmite, you either love them or hate them. And until the day that we all live in some form of egalitarian utopia, I presume that we will continue using them. Understandly some people find restrcitive and yet, for others they can create a sense of community and inclusivness. They can also be useful for positioning oneself somewhere along the gender specrtum and the sexuality spectrum, allowing for the lovely multitude of permutations that arise along it.

Just curious here but is there anyone that idenitifies outside of the LGBT labels (not refering to straight here, but if you are queer straight, more power to you ) For example butch, femme, stud, boi, stone, bear etc (Sorry I know that there are hundreds more here, but they've all escaped me.)

And has anyone's idenity changed over the years, supposing that sexuality and idenity may be fluid?

I myself came out as bi (even though I was a lesbian), then idenitifed as bi (when I discovered that some men may hold some attraction for me), I then identified as queer (as a reaction to biphobia) and now I'm back to bi. Even so, I still find the label quite restrictive as it reinforces the notion of a two sex/two gender system.

Just curious:)

Aishae

im not mad about the term 'lesbian' as it's been used in such negative terms and those childish things kids do when you're in school like running around asking everyone if they're a 'lezzer' and then slag people off by calling thems 'lezzers' just to annoy them. at that age i dont think most of them even knew what a lesbian was, they'd just heard the word used as insult and followed suit.
but i learned to accept its just a description and feck what anyone else thinks of the word.

i came out as bi at first - but ended up forgetting that. i dont think sexuality is static and it can also take us a long time to decide just what we are exactly but i dont think we should have to struggle to put a label on it. if we know what we are thats the important thing. problem is, everyone else tends to want to know what to label you as. or so it seems.

Chuchoter

I originally identified as bi to myself but that was more denial than anything. To be honest I kind of take issue with the whole sexuality is fluid thing or at least the way it is used by some people (not you OP, just in general). I find that if you want to identify as lesbian, people are always telling me that no-one is 100% gay and why close doors and so on and so forth. Some people are bi, but I exist too! :P

Now that rant is over, the labels we have aren't incredible, most of them rely on a binary system which isn't so great.

Aishae

true
heres a new label:
90% lesbian and 1 part straight. lol. its funny. but its true for some. that a percentage exists in their mind (sort of)

not with me though - i never questioned did i like girls. i questioned did i like guys. and that was the time i identified as bi. but i realised i wasnt comfy trying to be anything but friends with a guy and they felt the same. a weird feeling came over them if they tried anything.

if i had to think up a new label for the way i feel i might use the word label-less. problem is you know how some girls doesnt want to date a bi girl, same with straight guys. so they wneed to know where you stand. in that way labels have their use.

Azure_sky

I label myself as pan-sexual. Which is a very broad label-if you can call it a label at all. Essentially I have the capacity to be sexually and romantically attracted to men, women and people on the transgender spectrum.

Aoifums

I honestly can't stand the word lesbian. Just don't like it
I just stick with gay. Or I've been liking queer lately I love the way people draw the line between gay and bi. I've been thinking about it a lot since I was asked if I was "fully, like 100% gay" by someone lately. My answer of "oh, about 97% or so" really confused him He just couldn't decide what to label me then.

oisindoyle

I don't do labels be they Prada,Gucci,or Klein,nor do I do sexuality labels ..
I am just ME

KnifeWRENCH

I do believe the whole "sexuality is fluid" thing, but only in certain cases; it doesn't apply to everyone. Some people are 100% gay, others are 100% straight and others are somewhere in between. Not much else needs to be said.

I don't like labels. If I'm asked, I'll identify as bi but I don't like identifying as anything. I'm....me. And that's pretty much it.

deirdre_dub

The way I see labels is that they are a (piss-poor) way of describing an experience of self.

I use labels of "transgender woman", "transsexual woman", "male-to-female transgender person", "straight", "straight-ish", "bi", "pansexual" etc. The labels I use tend to change depending on who I am talking to. Why? Because I am trying to communicate with them about my experience, and so I try and cater my explanations to what I suspect the person listening to me understands of those labels. For most cis straight people, I'd use the label "straight" (and probably qualify that with "i.e. I'm into men"), whereas here, I'll use "straight-ish", "bi" or "pan". It's no different than trying to explain technical stuff about computers - I'll cater my language to the audience.

There are no labels which fundamentally describe me as a person. All of my labels are just poor attempts to describe aspects of my experience and of my views of self.

Killer_banana

Identified as bisexual up until a few months ago and then changed to pansexual 'cause found bisexual constrictive since it implies there's only two true genders and whatnot. Wasn't completely comfortable with pansexual either though and then just decided I like people and gender is basically irrelevant to me and that's that. So basically I don't label myself anymore. Although if anyone asks I still say bisexual for simplicity's sake.

Aishae

i think you have it summed up there - its hard to label yourself and feel 100% happy with the way it describes you.
as i said - id identify as lesbian - like you, for simplicitys sake cos it explains my sexuality in a nutshell. but its not completely outside the realms of possibility id like a bloke. just really unlikely. say 1 million women to 1 man style of thing. im more comfy around women too. but i couldnt begin to think up a word that describes someone 99.9% for the ladies potentially 0.1% for men.

im just thinking - i did used to really fancy patrick swayzee - so.... maybe in honor of this i can name my sexuality The Swayzee factor:pac:


edited to note: the Captain Janeway factor is bigger :pac:

diddlybit

Killer_banana wrote: »

Identified as bisexual up until a few months ago and then changed to pansexual 'cause found bisexual constrictive since it implies there's only two true genders and whatnot. Wasn't completely comfortable with pansexual either though and then just decided I like people and gender is basically irrelevant to me and that's that. So basically I don't label myself anymore. Although if anyone asks I still say bisexual for simplicity's sake.

Love this. But I could just imagine tryine to explain this to my parents. My poor mother can't even grasp the concept of bisexuality.:)

Thanks all for feeding my general curiosity

hare05

When people ask me if I'm gay I always say
"gay on Tuesdays, straight on the weekend, and the rest of the week I just like giving hugs!"

It confuses them but how else can I get my entertainment?

Trebor

a label is a descriptive term and thus is subject to different meanings depending on who says it and who hears it. which is why you get a lot of people asking "when you say you're gay do you mean 100% gay or could you be a little bi?"

but that's the idea of a label, it's meant to be used to generalise.. the problem is finding other people who generalise the same way you do (pretty much very rare). so i never have a problem with labels because i understand that people are using them as they see fit and i adapt my use of the label to who i'm talking with so as to be understood easier.

Jupitermars

I would label myself as bi, i probably am more percentage les, but i a still attracted to men so there'n point in saying i'm 100% gay because i don't feel i am.

As for other labels, femme, butch, lipstick, and whatever the others are I really don't know much about these labels as I have not been submersed in the scene. I really don't know what label I am in those terms???is there a glossary for them . I'm not a girly girl but i do like nice clothes make-up etc, i was probably what you could describe as a tomboy kinda when i was growing up but i am feminine and not butch...so i don't really know what 'label' i am after i would describe myself as bi, any enlightenment?