No social life, upset with everything in general..

LegacyUser

Ok I've just turned 17 and I've got a pretty non existant social life. I never really go out on the weekends except to the odd birthday party of one of my closest friends. It's not that I have no friends I'm in a group of 6 of us all girls but I literally have about 2 friends outside of that group

Im just getting really upset cause I've only kissed a guy ONCE in my life and its pretty embarrassing at my age!! I keep saying to myself once I leave school and go to university I can start again have a new fresh life and be more confident, etc. as at the moment I'm really shy and I don't think I can go on like this for much longer.

What should I do? I can't really talk to my parents cause Im not that close to them and my friends are pretty much in the same boat (but I dont think they care, or at least not half as much as I do). Im retreating more and more into myself and it's not helping other aspects of my life like my studying and I'm always arguing with my mum.

Please help

Chuchoter

If its any consolation I'm 17 and in exactly the same position. I never go out at night, never been in anything resembling a relationship and I've kissed a girl only once as well! I think most people our age are more or less the same, theres just the few that go off doing stuff and then the rest of us look incredibly boring! :P In terms of shyness, you can sort that out, join stuff that forces you to talk to people, especially something structured like a sport so you'll have something to talk about.

LegacyUser

wow! its like your re-telling my life story. im 17 too and have started university last year. i know what its like saying that your going to have a fresh start, but when you have assignments and hundreds of people in your course it can make it harder. you should try and get into groups in your area. or even wait until college and join some socs.
as for your mum, you should tell her how your feeling and ask for some space. arguing is the last thing you need right now. im sure she will understand if you talk to her
oh and by the way, ive never kissed a guy, your lucky.

LegacyUser

Same boat too!!!! Same age everything!

Hope things will change in college!! I'm slightly disheartened by your words inglip, I thought college would have soo many opportunities!!! disappointing to hear!!:( will joining socs really help? i will do anything at this stage too!!

Firetrap

You say you've got friends - I'm wondering what do they do for a social life? Are you invited along? Perhaps you could arrange activities at the weekend so you can see your friends more?

Unless you've got zero social skills (which I doubt), you'll be fine when you go onto university. As long as you're friendly and willing to chat to people, you will have no trouble making friends and getting at least acquainted with their friends.

Don't get too wound up either about only having kissed one guy. There are more people your age than you'd think who haven't been kissed at all.

Chaotic_Forces

Would you stop worrying about just having kissed one boy? It's not going to do you any good. And frankly, it's a lot more desirable than if you had slept your way around your school.

I can't really give you much advice about your mother but you're only 17. Things generally do get better. Perhaps you should just try to sit down and have a talk and if you find an argument about to start just say something like "I think we need to take a few minutes to cool down"; it'll show that you'd rather talk than argue and might make her feel the same.

I was/am the same with friends but I generally do enjoy my own company more. I realized that as I got older. Being 17 generally means two things that you should look forward to: you'll hopefully get a job and make friends there and also, once you go to college (assuming you do), you can make friends there, too. Life isn't just one road to the next, paths split a lot.

Just because you have five friends in school now does not mean in the future you will stick with those five; each of you could go your own seperate ways and those five girls could be part of an even smaller group while you have the most active social life.