Girlfriend never wrong

LegacyUser

Hi there,

Just need a bit of advice on this as I dont know if I can take this for the rest of my life.

Firstly, I love my girlfriend to bits, she is wonderful, successful, beautiful, everything I could ever want or need. But theres a problem and I can see no resolution.

She has been brought up in her family as the 'golden child' everyone looks up to her, adores her and respects so much so to the point that she is never wrong and this is the way we live our life. Everytime we row she is so stubborn and never admits she is wrong, she can never see her faults and never apologises for anything (only at the bitter end when she knows she has done really bad that she will)

I am beginning to think that I have been blinded by her wonderfulness and have refused to see some big faults. My friends have recently sat me down told me that they noticed I am not as happy as I was and that they feel I am not being treated right. I spoke to my gf about my concerns and her answer was 'well they are not in our relationship so dont know anything' she never considerd that things might not be right or how she had been acting was upsetting me.

Her family have constantly said to me 'I hope you know how lucky you are, your such a lucky man, she is wonderful, fantastic etc' and now I am being to wonder if I can share my life with someone who is always going to be right and me in the wrong. In her families eyes no one will ever be good enough for her and I have spent so long trying to fit in with them but I dont think it will ever really happen.

I love my gf to bits, she is fantastic but I dont think she is going to change. I have tried speaking to her but she doesn't listen. It has been drilled into her how great she is so I think she finds it impossible to realise she may be wrong and hurting me.

Has anyone been in the same situation?

Thanks a mil

Peanut2011

Unfortunately it is too easy to end up in relationship like that where you see no way out. Unfortunately when you say she is never wrong, it is hard to see what you are referring to.

As far as she is concerned she might not ever be wrong, but that is her opinion and she is entitled to one. Unfortunately without any specific details, could it be that you did not like that part of her from the beginning but chose to ignore it?

Have you changed your expectations? Do you think that only cos a friend of yours sat you down and told you, you are not happy?

curlzy

Why do you love her OP? Serious question. Is it because she is so kind and giving? Is it because she's so compassionate and caring? Is it because she makes you feel special and cherished? Is it because she's fun and you guys always have a great time? Is it because she works hard at the relationship to make sure you're both happy? OR is it because you've been told constantly how wonderful she is and you think you should love her? You really need to get away from this sufficating relationship and her family and get some space. Sit down and have a long and hard think about what you deserve in a relationship, i.e compassion, support, caring, fun etc and then figure out if that's what you're getting in this relationship. If it's not then call it a day. To be honest having read your opening post and with only that to go on I would totally end this relationship, you don't seem to be her boyfriend, you sound more like her fan.

sbsquarepants

To be honest mate the overall tone of your post is a bit subserviant. You wonder if her "wonderfullness" has blinded you to some big problems! WTF!!
Read that back aloud to yourself and listen carefully to how mental it sounds!
Your girlfriend doesn't sound all that wonderfull to me, she sounds like a spoiled little princess, who has been robbed due to years of molly coddling, of any shape or form of capacity for self criticism.
Nobody is perfect, i guarantee you this girl is not the exception, to be honest with you i don't think i'd have the patience to stick around till she figures that out. By the sounds of things, it's gonna take her much longer than it seems to have taken your friends. I also couldn't take my girfriends family going on about how great she was all the time - even if she was all that great!

beks101

Yeah I'm with sbsquarepants, OP your girlfriend sounds like a lot of bloody hard work.

Every 'wonderful' quality that she has seems to be overridden by her spoilt, precocious, self-centred nature and it has put your relationship on an uneven keel. Why should you feel like you're the lucky one to have her just because she's beautiful, successful blah blah blah when her pride is clearly more important to her than having a healthy, happy relationship with you and even your friends can see that she's making you miserable?

I think you've bought into her family's bullsh1t and have become a bit starry-eyed, to the point where she's on a pedastal and you can't see the damage this relationship is doing to your own self-esteem. Relationships are about compromise, they're not about one bowing down to the other's needs or losing every argument for the rest of your life because of your partner's narcissistic need to always be 'right'.

Maybe your gf's not so great after all OP. You seem to have it drilled into your head that she's 'everything I could want or need', probably her family's influence and the fact that she wouldn't let you believe anything else...but if that's the case, why did you come here? And why is it impossible to even sit down and have a mature, adult conversation with her about your relationship without her dismissing your feelings to spare her own over-inflated ego?

You need to have a serious think about all of this and about the impact of this relationship on your life as down the line it could be very, very damaging for you. And for what it's worth, people like this rarely change. Best of luck OP