Girl i like will end up going out with friend

LegacyUser

Right to cut a long story short, i really fancy a girl, who has a boyfriend. ive really liked her for absolutely ages, but so does a friend of mine. if she ever breaks up with her boyfriend, ijust know that she'll end up going out with my friend, rather than me. hes cooler than me, more popular, and itll definately end up happening. what can i do?

MitchKoobski

If he's a good friend, just say it to him. Any decent friend worth his merit won't let something happen with her if it means that much to you.

However if he's just a basic friend you don't hang out with much, then you can't really stop him. You could chance telling her how you feel.

Distorted

Its really up to her though, isn't it? Rather than some deal cooked up between you. If you both like her, its her choice.

I wouldn't tell your friend if I were you. He might like her just as much as you do, it's unfair to expect him to stay away from her for your sake. Imagine if she did tell you she liked you, but your friend said he liked her so you shouldn't get with her. It would seem selfish, no? Plus if he gets with her after you've said this to him, the friendship will have too much tension to last, and you'll alienate yourself from her too since she'd be with him.

She has a boyfriend now, so keep things friendly, but if she becomes single don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Saying stuff like "it'll definitely happen" that she'll get with him, will ensure that it happens. If you feel defeated already, you'll end up accidentally stepping aside for him to get with her. Don't.

From what you've said, I get the impression you want to get with her when her and her current boyfriend split. Girls are vulnerable after a break up. She probably won't be looking for a guy who thinks he's all that. She'll want comfort, from someone who's stood by her. She'll want to feel reassured and safe. You can do that better than your friend.

Firetrap

For starters, it's a hypothetical situation - perhaps she won't break up with her boyfriend.

You also can't make somebody like you I guess all you can do is be yourself and hope that she sees that you're a genuine bloke who, although not as cool as his friend, is also worth knowing. Also, don't let your feelings for her lead to you turning down the chance to have a girlfriend of your own if you do meet someone else nice.

Aishae

if you two are really good friends then - most friends say something along the lines of not letting a girl come between you. i.e if you both fancy a girl then neither will go after her. but its not all that black and white. it really depends on how strongly you feel about the girl and also the friendship. its your decision but dont be sure she'd pick him. girls are attracted to different things and it could be you not him or could even be neither. so dont take it as a foregone conclusion that she'd end up with him, leaving you feeling weird.

this is the kind of situation you play by ear and as someone said - she might not want to get involved again quickly.

cantdecide

'Looking after number 1' gets a bad rap, IMO. There's nothing wrong with trying to make the best life for yourself that you can. Obviously, there's little you can do now that she is seeing someone else except being a good friend to her. If things do change, walk your own path, if your friend is a good one and if you're lucky enough to get the girl, he'll be happy for you. You'd never know, you could meet someone else just as nice in the meantime.

kjl

unregistered wrote: »

i really fancy a girl, who has a boyfriend.

Cross the next bridge when it get there.

LegacyUser

It's entirely up to you OP but myself personally I wouldn't want to be a girls' rebound. Also if you and your friend are quite close, I'd tell him the same if I were you. I wouldn't want one of my friends to be a girls rebound.

I'm on the fence so I'll give a 2nd side to it. If you've waited a certain extent already for her, and think she's worth waiting longer for, then if she does happen to break up with her boyfriend she might want time to regain herself if it was a long and/or serious relationship.

If this is the case then talk to your friend. If you can't come to an agreement, leave her go. Don't fall out with your friend and if he decides to try his luck with her then he wasn't a friend worth keeping in the 1st place.

Best of luck with it all!

ongarboy

unregistered wrote: »

Right to cut a long story short, i really fancy a girl, who has a boyfriend. ive really liked her for absolutely ages, but so does a friend of mine. if she ever breaks up with her boyfriend, ijust know that she'll end up going out with my friend, rather than me. hes cooler than me, more popular, and itll definately end up happening. what can i do?

How do you know she'll definitely leave her current boyfriend? How do you know she'd move on to either you or your mate? Why would you expect your mate to let you have her even if she was uninterested in you but fancied him just to be a decent mate as suggested by another poster?? It the tables were turned, would you do the same for the sake of being a decent mate?

Why don't you focus on and build up your own self confidence or "coolness" and pursue an unattached girl that you fancy (there are loads of gorgeous unattached girls out there) and stop worrying about your "cooler" mate or situations that most likely will never happen!

Peanut2011

OP, I can only offer you two words of advice. GROW UP!