Hopeless romantic

LegacyUser

i have to say in comparison to all my friends i have too be the most awkward person when it comes to relationships and any type of intimacy at all. im a first year in college, ive never had sex and at the minute it looks like i never will..

i go out a lot but im just never seem to be able to pull a girl whether on the dance floor or at the bar it makes no difference.

i don't have any confidence when i try to pull a girl, i just feel awkward and afraid of rejection. i only really get the courage to do anything when iv a good bit of drink on me or i actually get set up with a girl by my friends

i could count the number of girls iv kissed on my fingers and i know lads who will go out on a night and pull more people in one night that iv done in my lifetime
for instance we went out last night and the lads had a bet of who could pull the most girls. i spent most of my night roaming around the dance floor like a lost sheep while the other lads got 3-4 girls each and in the end id to lie them about how many i got

once i had a chance to start something wit a girl i liked. she was shy and quiet so it was hard to tell what she was thinking but i really screwed it up. i didnt know when to contact her how often to tx or call, i had no idea how to ask her out, i think eventually she got tired of me doing nothing (because i didnt know what to do) then she went off with another lad who was superior to me in every way really..

then last week i was set up with a girl who was staying in our college house for a single night, i spent a lot of the night with her in the night club talking ****e and i never made a move, eventually the night club closed so i walk home with her and her friends, so after that i didnt even get a chance to kiss her and so we both went off the our own beds. (i was absolutely kicking myself)
i felt like such a fool the next day when everyone found out i wasn't actually with her even though i spent my whole night with her after being set up and everything.

i know nobody is perfect when it comes to relationships but its really getting me down, i can never have a good time anymore and im beginning to feel a bit lonely and depressed because of it too..

Help?

Sonics2k

Here's your problem in my opinion.

Stop "trying" to get a girl.

Chill the hell out, relax, laugh and chat away to them.

prinz

Sadandlonely wrote: »

i spent most of my night roaming around the dance floor like a lost sheep while the other lads got 3-4 girls each and in the end id to lie them about how many i got

Nothing romantic about that. As above, girls are not points on some Mario game that you have to "get". Be yourself. Understand that, and the rest should follow.

SarahG91

From a girl's perspective, I would be very turned off by this! You are running around a nightclub like a madman trying to kiss as many girls as possible to keep up with your mates in a juvenile contest. How do you think a girl feels when she sees you coming?

You were set up with a girl just last week and she spent the whole night talking to you. Now you "feel like a fool" because your friends know you didn't bed her afterwards? Why? Have you ever thought that some girls actually don't want to have sex just hours after meeting somebody? Just because she was staying in your house for the night doesn't give you a free pass into her knickers. But she was still interested enough in you to spend the night talking to you and that's a good sign.

If I was you, I would phone this girl (not text) and tell her that you really enjoyed spending time with her last week. Ask her out on an actual date. Take her out somewhere without your mates, and act like a grown-up. If she likes you enough to agree to go out on a date with you, she'll be expecting you to "make a move" at some point so just pluck up your courage and kiss her when the opportunity presents itself. Let things go naturally, but don't pressure her for sex too early. If it's meant to happen it will.

As for "I'm a first-year in college and I've never had sex and I never will," that's a bit OTT. I'm 20 and a good few of my female friends my age are still virgins. But they don't assume that they're never going to do it!