21 Bi Virgin Need advice and where to meet lads in galway?

trevbren

Hey guys.

Right, a couple of things. I'm bi, with a preference for lads (no point in kidding myself anymore) and still in the closet. I'm in college in galway. I dont have much experience with guys or girls, because my head has been all over the place and I'm kinda shy around people I dont know. Plus I dont know how to chat up and pull guys and girls. But I am sick of having no contact with them. Although I would especially love to have experience with guys.

Is there anywhere private where I can meet up with lads in galway city? I know theres the dignity nightclub, but is there anything more private? Like groups or communities of guys like me, who kinda want to stay in the closet and just get to know guys in private.

Also guys I want your honest opinion, I'm not toned, I'm broad, hairy and stockey. I wouldnt say chubby, just built. I'm very conscious about the way I look. Could I pull people easier if I was a bit thinner? What do ye look for guys? Honestly now.

One day I will come out and tell everyone I'm bi, but not just yet. Two of my mates found out already, and I was kinda relieved. But my family are very old fashioned. Dont have a problem with bi or gay as such, but they kinda talk about it like gossip or if its a problem. And I dont want that. I'm kinda hopin I fall in love with a girl, before a lad. But if the latter happens, I wont fight it.

I know I've asked a lot guys, but I'd appreciate your advice and thoughts. Cheers guys.

theginsandwich

Hey!
Firstly in my experience NUIG is a good place to be LGBT. I’ve been there for four years, coming out shortly after arriving (and escaping the rural, homophobic backwater and old fashioned family in which I had hitherto been trapped). I was shy. I was completely lost, and felt in over my head my first few times on the gay scene. It was hard, but each time the shyness got a little less overwhelming. Persistence is the only way to get rid of it. As for chatting people up, I’m still pretty dire at it, but I’ve found that if there’s a spark there with the other person the conversation flows pretty naturally.
I joined GiGsoc, the university’s LGBT society, which holds regular events to provide a safe space for LGBT people to be themselves. I highly recommend it, as I met some of my best friend’s there, who don’t give a damn who I’m attracted to so long as I’m happy. If you’re worried about going to a meeting, you can email them and meet up with a committee member beforehand so you won’t be walking into a room of strangers. You could also try shOUT, an LGBT youth group that meets on Saturdays, especially if you want something outside college. This is their website if you need info: http://www.lgbtyouthgalway.com/
I’ve never been to it, but have heard nothing but positive things.
I wouldn’t go to Dignity on my own. It just plain wouldn’t be fun! Focus on making friends who are LGBT first. It’ll do wonders for your confidence, before thinking about meeting guys.
You may not believe me, but personality matters so much more than looks. And everyone’s attracted to different kinds of people. For example, I’m not at all attracted to thin guys; he better have a bit of meat on his bones or I ain’t a happy camper. Now I happen to be a bag of bones, no matter how hard I try to put on weight or gain muscle, so I used to think that no guy could ever be attracted to me, if that makes sense. But now I know that there are guys out there who are attracted to me exactly as I am, and the same will happen for you.
Finally, remember that coming out is a completely individual thing. Do it how and when you want to, and it’s no one else’s business, so long as you’re happy in your own skin.
Hope this is helpful!
K.

trevbren

Hey K. Thanks a mil for ur reply. Really appreciate it. Checked out the lgbtyouth site and registered on it. looks good. i'll try and catch a meeting this saturday. couldnt join gigsoc for sum reason, but i'll keep tryin.

Thanks again man, i really do appreciate it. xxxxx

Keep the comments comin guys.

trevbren

Hey Guys. Just wanted to reply to this to keep it fresh. If anybody else has advice, let me know. Cheers guys.

Davaeo09

Hey mate.
Can I just say your situation is some thing similar to my own.
I can't give advice about coming out or any thing but I can answer you one of your questions.

Would I be better of thinner.
NO

You are who you are, change for no one!
Plus many guy's, like myself love a stocky fella. We are gay after all! I like men to be manly!

trevbren

Haha cheers for your reply buddy. It's good to hear that I'm not on my own in these situations!

Davaeo09

It's the initial meeting up with a fella that's the hardest.
Don't rush into it, you'd be much better off if you made friends with some one in your situation first. At least then there's a mutual trust and your more comfortable doing what ever it is you want to do!

Count yourself lucky your in a bigger city now. Some people, like myself are from the "sticks" and have it much tougher when it comes to meeting men.

trevbren

Will ya shtop! I'm from the shticks of roscommon! In college in Galway thankfully. Ya that sounds good man. It's to meet a genuine lad first off that's the challenge. Hard to find someone that isn't up his own a#se. Just sound like meself.

Davaeo09

trevbren wrote: »

Will ya shtop! I'm from the shticks of roscommon! In college in Galway thankfully. Ya that sounds good man. It's to meet a genuine lad first off that's the challenge. Hard to find someone that isn't up his own a#se. Just sound like meself.

I hear ya man. I'm a bit fussy too though, haha. I try to stay off the scene, it's just not for me and that in itself is my own downfall! haha

Jargonaut

Hi guys,

Reading your posts here reflects my exact situation to a tee. Jez. It's taken a long while to find someone with practically the same issue. I'm a little older at 34 although everyone always guess I'm 28...he he. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for your posts and I was happy to discover it. My situation is different in that, well A) I'm a bit older, which doesnt really matter i'm told and I'm from Galway and everyone I know knows me as straight. I'm bi and in the closet and it's been several years since I've been with a guy but I can't deny it any longer even tho I've know it since I was 14-15. Your souls desire is unmistakable. So I face a predicament. This side of me is screaming for outward expression. I want to meet like minded guys, in private, discreetly and see how it goes. Well, I know myself and it would go good!!! So has anyone any suggestions of where other that Dignity I could get started? Thanks a mill!