Going through some delayed trauma?

LegacyUser

Hi folks, I wouldn't mind a bit of feedback on this.

Recently, or well for a few years now but alot more frequently recently, I've been having some pretty full on nightmares and the subjects of which have crossed over to the conscious and have been on my mind alot during the day.

One of my good friends died a few years ago when he was 17 and I saw the body only an hour so after he went. I wasn't really prepared for what I saw and the image has been burned onto my mind since then. It wasn't anything gorey or shocking, just seeing someone the way he was really affected me, and I think it's taken a few years for the effects of it to surface again.

Because of this, or maybe this is something I've always had for some unknown reason, I have a constant...not obsession, but...issue with corpses/suicide and death. Absolutely terrified of the thought of them and it is this which is the subject of these nightmares. Also, the issue of death is also so close to my mind that whenever someone doesn't arrive home on time, when something out of the ordinary happens it's always "oh jesus what if something's happened".

Secondly, last October my worst fears came through when I was on the train into work (sitting in the front carriage) when a guy threw himself in front of the train. He was brought onto the carriage and while it didn't actually seem like such a big deal at the time, (I think I was in a bit of shock thinking back) it's only recently that the event, what I saw and the consequences from it are affecting me more and more. If I ever have to get a train the thoughts of it are right there, will only sit at the very rear carriage and always look away when a carriage is pulling into a station etc. As soon as the horn went off and breaks went on (as I usually would think) I immediately thought the worst, but this time it was for real.

It's all of this that has fed into these nightmares and my consciousness on a daily basis, and while it's not that big of a deal in context, I think I might be best off talking to someone about it.

What sort of professional would people here recommend? I can avail of a counsellor for free where I study which might be a good start. Has anyone else experience something similar? I mean in the last week I've had three horrific nightmares which are a direct reflection on what I experienced with the two events mentioned above. It's disturbing to think that my mind can conjure up such stuff, kinda afraid it's only going to get worse with the way it's going if I don't seek some help.

What would you recommend?

Thanks.

JuliusCaesar

Go see a professional, a CBT therapist or EMDR therapist or psychologist. Start with the college cousellor.