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Life- I know what I like, but not what I want!

  • 12-03-2011 3:35pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi Boardsies

    Im in my early twenties, I am in a fantastic college (well it has a great rep), I enjoy most of my course but I hate the college itself.
    I have a part-time job and since xmas have un-officially dropped out of college. I can't afford not to work and the amount I work now is exhausting me. Even with the money I'm earning its barely enough to get by (less than the dole). I know students are broke generally but I'm working sometimes 38 hours a week. It's usually around 25 hrs a week.

    The thought of spending four years of my life in one place makes me really anxious (Ive moved house about 14 times in my life) and since I'm a perfectionist the lack of effort I'm putting into this opportunity is causing me so much tension. I just dont want to spend 4 years half-arsedly doing a degree that I probably won't get a job in this country with anyway.

    Please dont get me wrong, I am very grateful for what I have but Im feeling so unfulfilled. I have everything that 'should' make me happy but I'm simply bored. I dont have any guidance and since my family members never got the chance to go to college they think i should continue even though I'm unhappy and feel its not for me, right now anyway.

    I know that I love learning, and the things I like but am I doomed for failure now that I've messed up my chance this time round?
    I feel like our lives are mapped out in society's favour. To leave secondary school, go to third level, graduate, enter the workforce, get a 9 to 5, find a partner, get married and work while your children get brought up by somebody else. It's just a life I really don't want to have.

    Im sure there are others who feel the same! Help me by sharing please, as I am completely lost


Comments

  • #2
    JuliusCaesar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,885 ✭✭✭JuliusCaesar


    frustratedwithmylife wrote: »
    I am in a fantastic college (well it has a great rep), I enjoy most of my course but I hate the college itself.

    The college buildings? The lecturers? The other students? The workload?
    frustratedwithmylife wrote: »
    I can't afford not to work and the amount I work now is exhausting me.... It's usually around 25 hrs a week.

    ah. exhaustion. Nobody thinks clearly when exhausted.
    frustratedwithmylife wrote: »
    The thought of spending four years of my life in one place makes me really anxious (Ive moved house about 14 times in my life)

    well, you can move flat, move through different groups of friends/societies/activities to make up for that.
    frustratedwithmylife wrote: »
    and since I'm a perfectionist the lack of effort I'm putting into this opportunity is causing me so much tension. I just dont want to spend 4 years half-arsedly doing a degree

    Ah perfectionism. Always going to bite you in the bum.

    that I probably won't get a job in this country with anyway.
    frustratedwithmylife wrote: »
    since my family members never got the chance to go to college they think i should continue even though I'm unhappy and feel its not for me, right now anyway.

    Can you take a year out? Build up some cash reserves so you won't have to work so much when you return to study?
    frustratedwithmylife wrote: »
    I know that I love learning, and the things I like but am I doomed for failure now that I've messed up my chance this time round?

    There are always opportunities - they just may not be the ones you want. Adaptability and flexibility is important in getting on in life. Perfectionism doesn't allow for this and so can lead to a lot of stress. Adaptability allows for creative problem solving. Stress strangles creativity and apatability.
    frustratedwithmylife wrote: »
    I feel like our lives are mapped out in society's favour. To leave secondary school, go to third level, graduate, enter the workforce, get a 9 to 5, find a partner, get married and work while your children get brought up by somebody else. It's just a life I really don't want to have.

    You don't have to have that life! What DO you want? That's what you need to figure out - and you sound too overwhelmed to do this at the moment. Why don't you chat with your college counsellors? Two heads and all that.


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