Child not making Communion - the hazards???

vicwatson

Hi,

Would love to hear peoples views on what attitude we should expect from the school when we tell them our child is not making communion?

Also, we obviousy don't want our child to feel left out among her classmates and are considering a holiday around the period, anyone's experiences surrounding this whole communion thing would be much appreciated, should we involve the child in the wearing-of-the-gear on the following Monday to school or.....?

TIA

byhookorbycrook

Hazards?Bit of drama there I think. Most schools now have a number of children who do not make communion. It's not an issue. Some parents choose to have their child at the church on the day to meet friends, others prefer not.

vicwatson

Hazards?Bit of drama there I think

Thanks for your thoughts.

I refer to it as a hazard as my child will be the only one in the class not making communion and we don't want to "trip up" for the sake of our childs feelings. We want to get it right and are interested in others opinions.

No drama

byhookorbycrook

Talk to her and explain that even though she won't have the dress (and the money!!!)first off, but that you have a special treat for her. The school need to know asap, as she might otherwise be given a role in the ceremony and it would be horrible for her then to have to pull out of it.

Are you happy that she would go to the church with the class as they prepare?Or if not, is there a class teacher who would let her sit in on their class?Make an appt to see the teacher asap and make your views known.

overmantle

Your initial question was about the attitude of the school and byhookorbycrook has already answered that. It's no big deal as it's very common now that parents choose not to put their children forward for communion. Being honest, most schools would have a hell of a lot more respect for you than for those who have no interest in religion but make a mockery of the whole thing by going OTT about the occasion but it means nothing to them.

The real issue here is your little girl. Have you asked her how she feels? Once you prepare her, she'll probably be ok. There may be a party in the school on the day of the communion which she may like to attend. Perhaps she wouldn't want to attend. In that case, the trip away sounds like a good idea. I do think it would be a good idea to let her be included in the class photo as she would not feel excluded from her friends.

vicwatson

Being honest, most schools would have a hell of a lot more respect for you than for those who have no interest in religion but make a mockery of the whole thing by going OTT about the occasion but it means nothing to them.

I agree with you there 100%, I'd say about 60% ++ of the people who put their children forward for communion ar non practicing catholics or lapsed catholics which I believe is hypocritical. I don't want to be a hypocrite. So many people use the occasion as an excuse for a party for themselves and have nothing to do with the religious side of it.:mad:

pooch90

From what I've seen I'd say closer to 85%.....

#15

vicwatson wrote: »

I agree with you there 100%, I'd say about 60% ++ of the people who put their children forward for communion ar non practicing catholics or lapsed catholics which I believe is hypocritical. I don't want to be a hypocrite. So many people use the occasion as an excuse for a party for themselves and have nothing to do with the religious side of it.:mad:

Good points.
Hopefully Quinn will sort out this whole religious mess once and for all in our schools.
Not holding my breath though.

vicwatson

Hopefully Quinn will sort out this whole religious mess once and for all in our schools.

Yes at least he has hit the ground running with this matter, it's well past time we stopped having to send our children to catholic church run schools, this is about education, and faith and religion should or shouldn't be part of the education curricula, but schools should not be dominated by any one religious body.

D4RK ONION

We've had the religion in schools debate before, let's keep info specific to the OP's post please.

Kathnora

Well done vicwatson for your honesty on this issue and not joining all the other "pretenders" of the faith. Preparation for communion and confirmation take up an extraordinary amount of teaching time and I think that this preparation needs to be done outside of school hours (even in a Catholic school). Your daughter will be caught up in all of this and in the feverish excitement that grips young girls in particular... the white dress, handbag, shoes, fake tan etc etc! It's unavoidable, I'm afraid. So, she is going to need to be well prepared to "stand out from the crowd". I think the holiday idea is the best you can do.... little girls like to dress like princesses and your daughter I'm sure is no different. Seeing her friends all dressed up might be just a bit too hard to accept at her tender age. Your holiday plan though might just be the sweetener for her. Good luck!

gbee

You should not have a problem.

Your child, along with others will be taken to another classroom for other business.

A lot of the sacrament preparation takes place outside of school hours in the local church too, partly to facilitate this very situation as isolating your child is to be avoided as best as circumstances permit.

RTT

I've experienced this situation first hand myself and have seen children being disappointed and feeling left out. There is more to Holy Communion than just turning up on the day or dressing up. If you decide that your daughter doesn't make her Communion there maybe be difficulties later when she wants to make her Confirmation or have her white wedding in a church. Just speaking from experience. Good luck with whatever you decide.

ElleEm

I think the idea of a holiday around that time is a great idea. Even a weekend away, but I would not send your child to school on the Monday.
I went to a Catholic school, and was one of two kids out of 32 that didn't make their Communion (although times have changed now with multi- culturalism so I would imagine it's more).
My folks didn't make a fuss, but I didn't go to the church and had the Monday off school.
Your child may feel left out if he/ she goes to the Church and is not a part of the group.

vicwatson

have her white wedding in a church

I'm guessing people's knowledge of the Catholic church will be even greater by the time she goes to be married, they might not even exist as a church by then....:rolleyes:

I've experienced this situation first hand myself and have seen children being disappointed and feeling left out

I'd say more like some parents feel a bit left out !! A child in school today has very little knowledge of the catholic religion unless of course their parents take them to mass etc on a regular basis. We don't do that, no point in being a hypocrite and sending them in in their dress just for the party when as parents we don't believe in the catholic church or communion.


I'd love to know the amount of parents who put their children forward for communion that are actually practicing catholics and attend mass every sunday (both parents), and also who abide by every rule of the catholic church. I would think very very few meet the catholic criteria for being a catholic.

Thanks for all the contributions by the way.

Kathnora

Spare a thought for the teacher too, vicwatson having to teach the "a La carte" Catholics. In 5th class my most intelligent pupil having made her communion wanted to know why she made it and the same child genuinely thought that a grad/debs occasion was, like communion or confirmation, a religious affair! She also asked on another occasion why every classroom had a crucifix. The teacher can only do so much and if religion doesn't come from the home then we're wasting our time (which could be spent on numeracy and literacy) teaching it at school. And. . . I am committed to the teaching of religion but not to those who don't practise it. Bring in the Sunday school for the sacraments in particular.. . that will flush out the pretenders!

vicwatson

Spare a thought for the teacher too, vicwatson having to teach the "a La carte" Catholics.

Of course I do.

It's the a la carte catholics that do my head in, if you are "in the club" then obey the rules, if you don't do that you are a hypocrite IMO. If you are catholic then go to mass.

I completely agree with you re teacher doing so much, we do not teach catholicism at home, rather christianity and that's for everyday life situations, be kind, be respectful, etc etc etc etc.

We don't practice any organised "religion" and don't expect it to be taught unless it's balanced and fair - which of course in the majority of schools it's not.

D4RK ONION

Okie doke, I think we're about to start going over the same stuff again. Thanks for the replies.

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