confused over feelings for girlfriend

LegacyUser

this is a complicated one, so thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this and reply with some much needed advice,
meet this eastern european girl around this time last year, very good looking, used to be a model in her own country, if you google her name loads of photos come up, as a result very high maintenance

we got on like a house on fire, completely changed my life for the better, everyone in my life said it that i looked and acted much better once we started going out, i had this playboy image (hate calling it that but its the only way to describe it) and had a pretty degenerate lifestyle even got the nickname charlie harper

after a few months things werent going so well, she had major commitment issues and was playing mind games with me all the time and i said to myself she was much more trouble than she was worth so i ended it, afterwards we stayed in contact and slowly began spend more time with each other

we both began to see other people, i went for the one night stand options and she had a couple of boyfriends over this time, they never bothered me one bit, i wasnt jealous at all, which was strange for me cause i thought i would have been a little bit, after a few months split up something clicked that made me realise i was in love with her and needed to be with her, so we talked she said she wasnt ready for a long term relationship and needed her freedom, so that was the end of that

i couldnt get over her so i moved away for awhile and eventually did get over her and then moved back again, carried on our friendship as we were, then she had to move, once she moved i realised the feelings were still there so i went to see her and she said she still had feelings for me, within the week i moved in with her

life has been good since we moved in together, sometimes we are like a couple thats been married for 40 years other times its difficult beauceof our personal problems,
she still has the same commitment issues as before, at times she feels suffocated and acts very wierd
she wants to be the boss of the relationship, which im happy to go along with most of the time
i dont trust her 100%, i know she used to have friends with benifits, she says she hasnt cheated on me but i still think it might happen, she goes on dating sites for attention but im afraid she will take it a step further sometime in the furture, also i dont think i will be able to stick with one woman as much as i want to
i think she sometimes sees it all as one big game to kill her boredom, altough i know she cares about me alot because of the way she acts and the things she does

shes gone back home this week to see her mother whos not well and ive been thinking about it alot, im starting to think we should just be friends, still live together but just as friends, we are both not happy with where we are living and want to move soon and i want to sort it out before we do, i know i cant live without her ive tried that and it didnt work so i dont want to be apart from her but i think relationship would be too much for me mentaly to handle so i just dont know what to do
any advice would be much appreciated
thanks for reading and sorry it was so long

daenerysstormborn3

She goes on dating sites for attention? This to me would suggest she has pictures posted up but doesn't actively participate in the website. You say she is very goodlooking in which case she probably gets attention everyday walking down the street, in her job etc so is that not enough attention for her? Maybe she is using the dating sites for more than attention? I wouldn't trust someone that needs that kind of ego boost.

You seem to be quite on-off, break up, back together, break up, back together, is this what you want to be doing in 5 years time? Do you want to waste more time with someone with commitment issues? At times she feels suffocated? Would she even be able to cope with a long term relationship nevermind anything more?

You don't trust her, you say that in your post and it's quite obvious. Can you plan a future with someone you don't trust and who won't commit to you?

flowerchild

I doubt that it would work to live together as friends, not lovers. But you could both decide to call off the relationship, move into sep places and then stay friends. It depends what result you want and which way you want to take your options. Friendship is not to be sneezed at as an option.

Taltos

Sorry OP - but without trust what is the point?