People who cant walk in straight lines

Hazys

Sorry but I’m going to go on a bit of a random mad rant here because these people are pissing me off lately and I hope I’m not the only one this happens to.

[Rant]

Are you ever walking along a street and there is somebody in front of you walking slowly (fair enough) in the same direction as you, so you go to over take on one side and they suddenly start veering to that side, either they are texting, daydreaming or something and they are not paying attention to the difficult task of walking in a straight line.

So you are left with two choices, 1. either speed up to get past that person before the gap on the outside is too small to pass, making yourself look retarded for the sudden interest in speed walking/jogging.

Or 2. you slow down to their speed because you are blocked and try to get past them on the inside where they originally were. But inevitably as you try to take them on the opposite side, they realize they are walking towards the curb or wall and start veering back to their original path, blocking you again. You are back at square 1 but now it looks like you are following this person and are way to close for comfort, making you look like a stalker, when all you want to do is slap that person in the back of the head and tell get the fup out of the way.

[/Rant]

twowheelsonly

I said sorry... What more do you want???? :mad:

Kells...

That was you today OP?

bonerm

I choose my line and just walk straight into them. Tis fun.

DundalkDuffman

Announcing in a loud voice about 2 metres out, AH FFS make your mind up you wanderery twat usually does the trick.

ballsymchugh

is blast them with piss appropriate yet?

jdooley28

i notice that late on saturday nites sometimes alrite

Spacedog

Oh, there's nothing I love more than a bit of stray walker back bumping...

Simply surge past them quickly, take a position directly in front of them, and immeadiatly slow to half their pace.

if you do it right they will walk into the back of you, and apoligise for not watching where they were going.

This trick also works well in crowds when someone rushes past you only to find they have nowhere to walk ahead of you.

face1990

There used to be a guy I'd walk past most mornings who used to do that. Walk so slowly and veer all over the place. I actually grew to really resent him even though I only ever saw the back of his head!

Scarinae

DundalkDuffman wrote: »

Announcing in a loud voice about 2 metres out, AH FFS make your mind up you wanderery twat usually does the trick.

I'm the worst for doing this! I'm always bitching about people who walk slowly in front of me, loud enough for them to hear... It usually works too

TheZohanS

Or the people that stop right at the entrances/exits to buildings in the doorway. :mad:

Ebbs

I blame F1. You need to be on their team for them to allow you to overtake.

Dangerous Man

They're pigs. I hate them. They're all travellers on the dole too.

starviewadams

I have painful foot problems which make it hard for me to walk both fast and in a straight line,sorry for the inconvenience.

Goldenegg

Cross the road...:-)

Dudess

Self-centred cunts who walk backwards in a busy place, like a thoroughfare or a pub, are my bug-bear in this vein... :mad:

Ev84

OP, I have a vuvuzela if you want it. One shot into the back of the head should do the trick

Hazys

Ev84 wrote: »

OP, I have a vuvuzela if you want it. One shot into the back of the head should do the trick

Those Bastards would deserve it

**Timbuk2**

TheZohan wrote: »

Or the people that stop right at the entrances/exits to buildings in the doorway. :mad:

People that stop at the top of escalators to decide whether to go left or right. MOVE FFS, I have nowhere else to go but collide into you :mad:

chickenchaser

this happened to me in a queue in centra. guy in front was on his phone and kept walking to the left and right, meaning I had to follow him about like a clown so I wouldnt lose my place in the queue. Absolutely ridiculous.

biko

Make a sound like a bike bell.

Brrriiing, brrrriiiing.

Ev84

Another thing that happens to me quite often when traversing footpaths

You are walking along, someone is walking towards you, you make eye contact, swerve left, so do they, you swerve right, so do they, you are coming increasingly closer to each other, swerves turn to sidesteps, you try fake left, they do too, then right, then left, right, left, right until you are nose to nose and a truly awkward moment is shared.

Some say sorry, some complain. I used to say sorry but got sick of getting tutted at or grumbled upon. It bothered me so much that i stopped saying sorry and now i amuse myself by saying "Thanks for the dance" "It was lovely". Beats getting annoyed any day. Get some strange looks too ha ha. worth it.

Cybertron85

That pavement tango happens to me quite often too, but I never get annoyed by that.

What pisses me off like nothing else is these people who refuse to give an inch, they just flat out refuse to divert from their line even if that means they're 'forcing' others to squeeze themselves past or wait until your highness has walked past.

It does my head in, if we all did that we'd constantly be slammin' into each other.

MagicSean

My problem is with people who stop after they step off an escalator. What kind of retarded brain donor do you have to be to do this?

Seloth

Walking out of college today this woman with a pram up ahead stops, and just as Im about to pass her out she swerves the pram around forcing me to jump like a ninja around between her and a ditch.

She had her hood up as of the rain in fariness but still,feckin hell.

Ev84

Cybertron85 wrote: »

What pisses me off like nothing else is these people who refuse to give an inch, they just flat out refuse to divert from their line even if that means they're 'forcing' others to squeeze themselves past or wait until your highness has walked past.

Cybertron, meet bonerm. you too should get along

bonerm wrote: »

I choose my line and just walk straight into them. Tis fun.

3ndahalfof6

i used to walk in them but they cut the feet off me

Ev84

Cybertron85 wrote: »

That pavement tango happens to me quite often too.

"Pavement tango" i like that. What can we do to sort it out though? Hats with indicators? (hmmmm... patent pending)

Hank_Jones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEV58ztuihs

ballsymchugh

ballsymchugh wrote: »

is blast them with piss appropriate yet?

Blast them? Amateur.

http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/2734/threadj.jpg

Ev84

Ev84 wrote: »

Another thing that happens to me quite often when traversing footpaths

You are walking along, someone is walking towards you, you make eye contact, swerve left, so do they, you swerve right, so do they, you are coming increasingly closer to each other, swerves turn to sidesteps, you try fake left, they do too, then right, then left, right, left, right until you are nose to nose and a truly awkward moment is shared.

Some say sorry, some complain. I used to say sorry but got sick of getting tutted at or grumbled upon. It bothered me so much that i stopped saying sorry and now i amuse myself by saying "Thanks for the dance" "It was lovely". Beats getting annoyed any day. Get some strange looks too ha ha. worth it.

I got into that with a garda once in town Then he put his arms out to kind of say you go that way and I'll go this way. He was laughing about it too though

Some other lads do that as well when it happens to me

conorhal

As a long time sufferer of 'footpath rage' I'd like to advocate the creation a 'slow lane' or hard shoulder equivalent on the foot path that can be used by clueless amblers, women pushing prams and impromptu Spanish student congregations.

The single most annoying type of footpath offenders however are the groups of people walking towards you that like to walk three or four people abreast and seem to expect you to throw yourself into the road to avoid colliding with them because they feel entitled to take up the entire footpath.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx3m4e45bTo

TanG411

As a left hander, I am more likely to pass people on the left. Now, as a person is coming towards me, it is a good chance they're right handed, so they generally pass people on the right.

Since my left is their right, it is inevitable that we shall crash into each other. I have now taken the precaution to pass people on their right.

Just another reason why its a right handers world out there.

hardCopy

People who walk slow in general.
People who won't stand to one side on escalators/travellators - in London they have signs to tell people to do this.
People who don't take their belts/boots off before the get to the security checkpoint in airports.
People who stand in the aisle while they sort out their hand luggage - STAND ASIDE!