Christian response to bullying

Donatello

What do you do about bullying?

A little kid I care about is being bullied at school. The bullying is name-calling and physical abuse.

Now, I am only in a position to give advice to his parents. That's all. They are, however, at a loss, and so am I.

I'm wondering if anyone has any knowledge or experience of dealing with bullying, of proven strategies of dealing with the problem etc...

I have the following observation:

When bullying happens, it's kind-of too late to be considering strategies, coping methods, ways of dealing with the problem. The child has already been isolated. He is, in a real sense, helpless. Mentally and physically emasculated, there is not a whole lot he can do. He probably has few friends, and nobody to call upon to come to his defense.

I have two recommendations, and neither of them is easy. One is difficult, the other might land you in jail.

My first recommendation is to instil in the child, through the example of the parents, a solid faith in Jesus Christ. The child must obtain their sense of value, their worth, their self-esteem, from God, not from the world, not from their little peers. The faith of the child would mean that insults and slurs would run off him like water off a duck's back, or else that he would have the relationship with Christ to strengthen him and enable him to cope and endure it. With a firm faith, a child may not even be bullied much, as the bullies would see that here is a secure child who has a mysterious inner strength.

The other recommendation is that the father of the child approach the parents of the bullies. They would probably laugh, so forget that. Instead, the father (or maybe an older brother) could approach the bullies and put the fear of the living God in them. My dad said that's likely to have the father wind up in jail. So that's not really an option. It's not very Christian either. However, there is nobody to discipline the bullies. They can act as they will.

So, you see, we are stuck.

Anyone got any ideas?

johnfás

In most instances the parents of children who are bullying are not so protectionist and would be absolutely mortified to think that their child was engaging in this sort of behaviour.

I would have thought the first line of attack would be to talk with the teacher of the children in question and raise the issue with them. They are in the best position to supervise during school hours.

I would argue that helping to raise the self esteem of one's child and encouraging them in their faith is of paramount importance for all Christian parents. Particularly so in an instance like this but no less so in any other.

Donatello

johnfás wrote: »

In most instances the parents of children who are bullying are not so protectionist and would be absolutely mortified to think that their child was engaging in this sort of behaviour.

I would have thought the first line of attack would be to talk with the teacher of the children in question and raise the issue with them. They are in the best position to supervise during school hours.

I would argue that helping to raise the self esteem of one's child and encouraging them in their faith is of paramount importance for all Christian parents. Particularly so in an instance like this but no less so in any other.

I think the attitude now-a-days would be quite cavalier. I wouldn't like to be the one to go knocking on the door of other parents. Maybe a phone call might work better.

I'm not sure there's a whole lot teachers can do.

At the heart of the problem is a failure of communication. The bully and the victim need to have some sort of heart to heart. But the modern world is not so much interested in emotional honesty.