Dating Web Site Qs

LegacyUser

met a person through dating web site. thought we got on well. txted the person when back home, did not get any reply.

when i get online on the web site, sometimes i can see the person online. since i think i have already txted the person, if there is no response, i would assume the person is not interested.feel a bit odd though when see the person online and would like to drop a line to just saying hi.

im happy to be just friends, although maybe for a lot of people, since it's a dating web site, they wouldn't bother to reply people that they are not romantically interested in.

should i just leave it? or is it a good idea to drop the person a 'hi' and would like to be friends message?

Firetrap

I reckon you've got nothing to lose by sending them a nice message saying that you know that nothing romantic is going to happen between ye but that you'd like to be friends. I'm thinking though that a text might be a better thing to send than a message on the site.

LegacyUser

Are you a guy or a girl? I'm assuming from the grammar that you are male??! There are way more guys than girls on dating sites. for a lot of girls, the amount of interest you get can be quite overwhelming. It can take ages to reply to all the messages you get, and you have to prioritise after a certain stage and decide which ones to stay in touch with. At the start, I tried to reply to everyone, but after a while you just can't.

This person isn't interested in you. They are probably going online to reply to messages from those they are interested in. I wouldnt get in touch - I would take the hint. As you said, it's a dating website, not a friendship website.

I used a dating site for a short while and getting messages from people I clearly wasn't interested in is what made me stop to be honest. It's just annoying. Sorry to be cruel.

There's tonnes more girls out there who will give you the time of day, so go back and concentrate on them. I know it's hurtful to see this person still online, it would be easier to convince yourself they had found someone else and were off the site, but at the same time, you can't go on these sites and not be able to take this slight rejection. It's a cruel hard world out there. If you are not able for this slight rejection, do you think you will be able for real world rejection when/ if you actually meet someone.

One other Q - did you actually ask this girl out? A lot of girls lose interest when they chat to a guy for a while and he doesn't ask her out (well me and my friends who've tried online do anyway). Next time, try asking someone out within the first week of chatting and see if you have more success.

Good luck :-)

andreac

I would leave it. Speaking from personal experience, most people on dating sites are not there to make friends but to find a partner.

They obviously didnt feel anything when you met up so arent interested in keeping in touch or meeting up again.

They could have done the decent thing and just said that they didnt feel a spark and wouldnt be interested in meeting again instead of just ignoring you.
But i dont see the point in trying to make contact. If they were interested in any way they would have made some sort of contact since.

inexperienced

op here. got myself an account so i can reply quicker.

well, got a msg from the person last night saying s/he would like to meet up again. it's short.

havent yet replied.

just not really know what the person is playing. the person did not reply my txt so i assume the person is not interested. then 3 days later, got a msg. anyone any hints?

'cos personally i would reply txts within the same day if im interested.... if im not, i would also reply within the same day but much later, and would tone down a bit so people would get the hints.

would it be too full on if i tell / joke the person that i thought s/he is not interested?

*the person is a user of boards.ie, so, wanna give out as little info. as possible.

**we met in person already.

gerryk

inexperienced wrote: »

op here. got myself an account so i can reply quicker.

well, got a msg from the person last night saying s/he would like to meet up again. it's short.

havent yet replied.

I thought that was what you wanted? Don't play games.

inexperienced wrote: »

just not really know what the person is playing. the person did not reply my txt so i assume the person is not interested. then 3 days later, got a msg. anyone any hints?

People have different priorities. Something may have come up... maybe they were busy at work... maybe they just believe in some stupid '3 day rule'.

inexperienced wrote: »

'cos personally i would reply txts within the same day if im interested.... if im not, i would also reply within the same day but much later, and would tone down a bit so people would get the hints.

It is wrong to expect the same standards of behaviour from someone, especially someone you have only met.

inexperienced wrote: »

would it be too full on if i tell / joke the person that i thought s/he is not interested?

That would just sound needy... don't do it.