Two women

LegacyUser

Ehm, I broke up with my long term ex around xmas and I’m over her at this stage. Anyway I went out last weekend and met 2 lovely girls on a night out, got their number. Txted one the other day, asked her out but didn’t hear back so I txted the second girl. It was at that point that I heard back from the two of them! both saying yes. Now I have two girls that I'm going to meet up with. Am I a pr1ck for meeting up with the two of them?? I don’t want to hurt anyone but I don’t want to put all my eggs in the one basket either. If I like the two of them and they like me, I will end it with one of them and that’s it, done. I know what its like to be hurt believe me....... or am I just thinking WAY too much into this???

Sorry its a been like 5 years since I was in the singles world, so Im a bit rusty

Bottle_of_Smoke

Its fine to date both to see if you like either of them.

Vicxas

Its fine but dont lead them both on for too long.

LegacyUser

The least you owe to these women is to be nothing but 100% honest with them from the start. Can you ensure that whereever you meet them the other wont be likely to appear? These women already seem to move in similar circles seeing as you met them both in the same place. Actually isn't this the definition of what a 'playa' (gangster rap style) is?!

poconnor16

Go on a date with each of them, no harm in that. But I wouldn't be doing second dates with the two of them....that just gets messy. Don't string them along.

LegacyUser

Go on a date with each of them, no harm in that. But I wouldn't be doing second dates with the two of them....that just gets messy. Don't string them along.

+1

From a womans perspective:

Go one ONE date with each of them, but after that you have to decide which you like more.

Going on a second date with both of them is just not nice and it is a "prick" thing to do and is definitely just messing them around tbh.

Also has been said ireland is a very very small place, maybe make sure if possible that they don't hang around in the same social circle or have mutual friends, or you may end up looking like a complete player.

common sense brigade

im a woman. its fine to go on both dates. you dont know them yet. but choose the one you favour for the second date.dont lead both on

LegacyUser

Ok, thanks for everyone's input on this. I wont string anyone along. Just get a taste for their personality by seeing them the one time and then go with my guts..

LightningBolt

gurlywurley wrote: »

+1

From a womans perspective:

Go one ONE date with each of them, but after that you have to decide which you like more.

Going on a second date with both of them is just not nice and it is a "prick" thing to do and is definitely just messing them around tbh.

Also has been said ireland is a very very small place, maybe make sure if possible that they don't hang around in the same social circle or have mutual friends, or you may end up looking like a complete player.

Bullshít, it's not a prick thing to do. Go out and date them both. If you feel like a couple more dates to know them better go and do it. You can tell if you like someone after a date, after a couple of dates you'll either want to keep seeing them or else decide to leave it as it is.

Good luck with whatever.

LegacyUser

Bullshít, it's not a prick thing to do. Go out and date them both. If you feel like a couple more dates to know them better go and do it. You can tell if you like someone after a date, after a couple of dates you'll either want to keep seeing them or else decide to leave it as it is.

Yeah sure who cares about the women in question's feelings ehh?! Look out for number one and fcuk the rest...

Going on a few dates with two women is unfair, if they know about each other and want to keep seeing the OP then that's a different story, but if a guy keeps asking you out, naturally the girl is going to think he's interested in her, he's building a relationship up with her knowing that she's only "an option", she doesn't know she's just "an option", and if he does pick the other girl, i doubt he's going to have the balls to be honest and say, look i was dating 2 women and i'm sorry but the i prefer the other, no, he'll more than likely give her some crap excuse and she's left wondering why the nice guy suddenly just stopped calling.

I hope the OP is bigger than that.

LightningBolt

gurleywurley wrote: »

Yeah sure who cares about the women in question's feelings ehh?! Look out for number one and fcuk the rest...

Going on a few dates with two women is unfair, if they know about each other and want to keep seeing the OP then that's a different story, but if a guy keeps asking you out, naturally the girl is going to think he's interested in her, he's building a relationship up with her knowing that she's only "an option", she doesn't know she's just "an option", and if he does pick the other girl, i doubt he's going to have the balls to be honest and say, look i was dating 2 women and i'm sorry but the i prefer the other, no, he'll more than likely give her some crap excuse and she's left wondering why the nice guy suddenly just stopped calling.

I hope the OP is bigger than that.

Why is it unfair exactly? He could easily mention that he's dating other people, not that hard in fairness. As for letting the one of them down, "I don't feel like this is going to work out" works pretty well.

OP go out on a date with both, you've nothing to lose and neither have they. I've dated girls knowing they're dating other guys and thought nothing of it.

Azureus

Definately go on at least one date with both. I wouldnt sleep with both, but dating/seeing what they're like/who you click with more isnt a problem. The girls are most likely doing the same thing/would if the situation arose.

If they move in the same circles it gets a little trickier though so tread carefully if they know eachother.

poconnor16

LightningBolt wrote: »

Why is it unfair exactly? He could easily mention that he's dating other people, not that hard in fairness. As for letting the one of them down, "I don't feel like this is going to work out" works pretty well.

OP go out on a date with both, you've nothing to lose and neither have they. I've dated girls knowing they're dating other guys and thought nothing of it.

Ok, well put it this way....you say he could easily mention he is dating/seeing other people. Yes, that is upfront and honest and that seems fine to do.

But I'd like to see how many more dates he gets with either of them when they know he's seeing other people. :rolleyes: Now, the OP might meet a girl that is ok with that. But it wont amount to anything, so I guess it depends on what he wants.

tiny_penguin

poconnor16 wrote: »

Ok, well put it this way....you say he could easily mention he is dating/seeing other people. Yes, that is upfront and honest and that seems fine to do.

But I'd like to see how many more dates he gets with either of them when they know he's seeing other people. :rolleyes: Now, the OP might meet a girl that is ok with that. But it wont amount to anything, so I guess it depends on what he wants.

Why wouldnt it amount to anything if the girl is ok with him seeing other people at such an early stage of the relationship.
I, as a girl, would be ok with it, but at the point where I felt that things may be getting serious with him it would be time to have a discussion about exclusivity.

I would never assume that a guy is dating me and me alone unless it has been said. If I wanted an exclusive relationship then I would ask on a date whether he is seeing other people and/or if he wants to date just me.

poconnor16

tiny_penguin wrote: »

Why wouldnt it amount to anything if the girl is ok with him seeing other people at such an early stage of the relationship.
I, as a girl, would be ok with it, but at the point where I felt that things may be getting serious with him it would be time to have a discussion about exclusivity.

I would never assume that a guy is dating me and me alone unless it has been said. If I wanted an exclusive relationship then I would ask on a date whether he is seeing other people and/or if he wants to date just me.

That's a fair point, I guess I was just giving what my take on the situation would be.

Its simple really - honesty is the best policy, if nobody is mislead, then all's fair really.

Aishae

it seems a bit much to treat dating like an exclusive thing when you havent gotten to know each other to decide if you want to be exclusive with them. and it takes a date or 3 to decide if that if its an avenue you want to pursue. generally seems to take longer again before you decide if you want to commit.
so long as you werent dating 2 women constantly - at once - leading them both to think things were happening - its not that bad.

just be truthful and dont lead anyone on and everyone is more or less happy