want the church but not the priest

fifib

just wondering is it possible to have the church but get another priest, like a family member or close friend of family to perform the ceremony?have heard stories of priests in certain parishes not liking this or allowing this but can they do this? or whats the norm?

SBWife

There is no norm it depends on the PP. Some are delighted to have a guest priest, some insist on con-celebrating and some won't give up the alter. Best advice is to ask the PP or the parish secretary.

the_syco

Do you want a non-christain wedding, but in a church? There are a few churches around the country that are not used as churches that you may get to use. I don't think a lay person can wed people in a Cat church, but unsure a Prod church.

Kurley

fifib wrote: »

just wondering is it possible to have the church but get another priest, like a family member or close friend of family to perform the ceremony?have heard stories of priests in certain parishes not liking this or allowing this but can they do this? or whats the norm?

I did this, priest for wedding is an uncle of my wife. You will need to get the approval of the parish priest where you inted to get married.

fifib

no we want the christian service/ceremony its just our local church has a new PP and were not too fond of him. may sound harsh sorry.
the church is where my parents wed so they would be very happy if we also wed there but at the minute I wont use it if we cannot supply our own priest.

Staplor

You'll need to ask and see, we were in a similar situation, but the PP was grand, he gave us a printout of what's acceptable and not acceptable in his church and it's nothing too extreme. Once the rules were obeyed he was happy, they were things like no candles (except those on the altar), no flower archways and no flowers directly in front of the altar table.

smelltheglove

It's common enough, I have covered a few weddings where the priest was a family friend or relative and not the parish priest, be it through the original parish being too far, church under construction or just preference of venue, it all depends on the parish priest I guess.

ana_conda

This is a difficult one, in my experience it all depends on how flexible the priest is. I'm guessing if your not fond of the man, it's lightly he's not very accommodating!

One suggestion would be if your husband has his own local priest that can services the day. I see this happen a lot because I shoot video's. When I arrive at the church I usually have a quick word with the priest, most of the time he's not even from the parish! I would approach the problem by saying the groom's family are VERY close with their local priest and would be so disappointed if he didn't cover the day. Be carefully here because he may suggest serving also. So you could end up with two priest!

Hope that helps...it would be a shame if this prevent you from having your wedding in a place that has your parent history connected. Good luck!

mikemac

What I've seen in these situations is the two priests will co-celebrate (if that's a word)

I've not seen a local priest give up their church.
All you can do is try I suppose

ana_conda

Hi

I don't wish to contradict feelingstressed here but honestly I do feel you may have a good shot at this. I would say one in five weddings I cover have a visiting priest. I know this because I like to have a chat about where set up, without intruding. A lot of the time the priest will say he's not familiar with the alter because he's not from the parish.

I think what is key here is how you approach it. You can't have another priest preside over the day just because you have a problem with the local chap. Your best bet is to be diplomatic and express the deepest wishes of your husbands family to have their priest.

Cellygirl

When we booked our church and met our priest, one of the first things he said to us was 'Would you like one of the priests here to do the ceremony or do you have a family friend or relative that you'd like to do it?'.

So you might be surprised how open the priest is to having someone else come in! It's quite the norm these days and it can be really special to have an uncle or whatever celebrate the Mass for you as it makes the ceremony that little bit more personal.

Best thing to do is ask and be ultra polite. Say you love the church, your folks got married there but you've a huge favour to ask. Would it be possible for Father XX, your hubby's uncle/friend/whatever, to celebrate the Mass, as it would mean a lot to you both to have him do it and he's travelling especially for the wedding.

All you can do is ask!

ABajaninCork

When we got married, the priests at the cathedral refused to marry us. We had to get my husband's PP. Neither was my priest allowed to concelebrate (I'm English).

OP - I reckon you'll have a decent shot at getting the priest of your choice to officiate at your wedding.

Best of luck!

Lucy Locket

Hi sorry, not read through every post, but it does depend on the priest as said but also you need to make sure that the priest you want is on the Register now not 100% sure what this is whether with state/or religious, if not he won't be allowed to marry you so will need to be put on a register

Goolay

Wow, never even thought that would be a problem at all!

I'm getting married on Saturday and the priest is my dad's best friend since they were kids.

When we booked the church we told them that was the case and it wasn't a problem whatsoever

Kimono-Girl

just a thought but if the priest you want is a relative, and you get no-where with the parish priest could you get the family friend priest to have a word???.

my partner's uncle is our priest and there are no issues with it.