worried about little girl

mumto3

Hi,
Im going to try and keep this as brief as i can,and am not even sure if this is any of my concern,but its been worrying me.My son who is now 10,has recently moved schools,but when he was attending his old school,there was a girl in his class from poland.This girl seems like a nice girl,very imature for her age tho.At the begining of 3rd class(7yrs of age),this girl approached me one day and said her mom had asked could she walk with us home from school as we lived on the same road and her mom had been delayed in work,and of course i said yes,assuming i was helping her mom out of a tight spot as a one of favour.
The following day this happened again and continued for 2 weeks,and in that time i learned this little girl was home alone until 7pm every day,and had to make her own food when she got home.Now i did not want to be the person responsible for dropping her to an empty house every day and with 3 kids of my own i didnt feel it right that i would offer to take care of her until her parents (they were both working) came home,expecially as they didnt even have the respect to ask me if i minded bringing her home they just sort of landed her on me!!
So i contacted the school and explained the situation to them,and they said they would have a word with the parents.In the meantime i had moved house and my kids had changed schools.
Which leads me to this week,my son has a facebook account and is only allowed use it when i am sitting next to him,which isnt very often!!So this girl added him as a friend and i was shocked at what i saw on her profile,she is friends with random grown men,to whom shes writing things like 'who is this'ect so they are strangers.She is wearing very short shorts and a belly top on her profile picture and posing provocativly in it.She is asking underneath her picture if any boys find her 'sexy',and is boasting to her friends that shes at home watching over 18 movies and her parents 'dont care' and are never home anyway.
This girl is only 10 yrs old,walks home alone to an empty house,fends for herself until her parents get home after dark,uses the internet freely without any parental supervision and i dont know what to do?Or if its even anything to do with me?
Can anyone give me some advice as to what i should do?
Thanks in advance.

barbiegirl

I'd try the school again, give them access to see her profile and maybe they can have a general class talk on appropriate use of the internet, plus another talk with mum and dad. I understand people having to work, but some sort of supervision is necessary. After school clubs at that age would be perfect.

mumto3

jhnhook1 wrote: »

i really love the pup shes great, but im worried about the amount of mud and obviously there will be germs in it.

??????

smelltheglove

Honestly it would worry me to the stage that I would be on to the local health nurse, I too found that a number of kids close by were left home alone often and for prolonged periods. The eldest with a disability also. I called the health nurse who gave me details of who I should talk to to ensure the kids were notleft in this situation. Within a couple of months the behaviour stopped and they were taken with the parents rather than left alone. I would take steps soon if I were you, it wont be long before she is at an age where it is acceptable to be left home alone so nothing will be done.

Orion

I'd be contacting the local health nurse too. You could also contact Facebook - if I recall correctly 13 is the minimum age. They can cancel her account. It wouldn't stop her creating a new one though. Education and intervention is the best way forward but there's only so much you can do for somebody elses child.

As for it not being your concern - safety of children should be everyone's concern. IMO fair play to you for getting involved.

Fittle

I really don't think that Facebook is the biggest issue here.

The child is home alone (and has been for 3 years) at the age of 10, until her parents get in from work??

My stomach was turning OP, when I was thinking of that poor child having to fend for herself.

It is illegal to leave a child home alone at 10, and not only is it illegal, but it's immoral.

I would speak to the Gards OP. I really would. If I knew for 100% fact, that a child had been fending from themselves from the age of 7, I would have no hesitation in reporting the parents. Forget the school and the FB stuff - if you have already told the school this is happening, and it's STILL happening, they must not have taken you seriously. They were also obliged to contact the Garda when that child was 7.

Orion

I didn't mean to imply Facebook was the biggest issue. But it certainly is an issue in itself if she's being or potentially being groomed. I'd be very concerned about the description of her facebook page.

I'm not sure of the Gardai can do anything - they will most likely refer to the local health nurse. No harm in contacting them as well though.

It is not actually illegal to leave a child alone at any age believe it or not. If it can be demonstrated that child is placed (or a reasonable assumption of this) in danger then reckless endangerment would be the crime but leave the child alone in itself is not. Note - I am not talking about the sense or morality of this - simply the law.

Fittle

Macros42 wrote: »

I didn't mean to imply Facebook was the biggest issue. But it certainly is an issue in itself if she's being or potentially being groomed. I'd be very concerned about the description of her facebook page.

I'm not sure of the Gardai can do anything - they will most likely refer to the local health nurse. No harm in contacting them as well though.

It is not actually illegal to leave a child alone at any age believe it or not. If it can be demonstrated that child is placed (or a reasonable assumption of this) in danger then reckless endangerment would be the crime but leave the child alone in itself is not. Note - I am not talking about the sense or morality of this - simply the law.

Sorry I didn't mean that you were implying fb was the bigger issue - I just got so annoyed reading about those parents.

I know that it's a 'crime' persay to leave a 7yr old home alone, but as you said, the parents can be charged with reckless endangerment.

And I disagree that the Gards can do nothing. If I was to walk into my local Garda station today and tell them I know there's a 7yr old home alone every day, they would have to investigate.

Morag

No the garda would make note of it and contact the local health nurse/social workers at the nearest helath clinic. So the OP is better of going directly to them with thier concerns.

Fittle

And if the health nurse was told, would he/she not have to inform the Gards so the parents could be charged?

Jays, what a country we live in...allowing a 10yr old to fend for themselves and getting away with it because of an out-dated law:rolleyes:

Orion

Again no - because no actual law is being broken. But if the health nurse feared that the child was being neglected or endangered then they could take action under child protection legislation. They would only involve the Gardai at a later stage and only if they feel Gardai intervention is needed.

I can't find the article right now but there was a nurse in the UK who won an unfair dismissal case because she was fired for leaving her child home alone while out shopping. The article was an interesting read. Where do you draw the line? There are some very mature 10 year olds and some childlike 14 year olds. If I find the article I'll post it up. The general thrust of the article was based on a parent's judgement of whether the child was mature enough to be left alone. The same goes for babysitting - "There is no legal minimum age for babysitting. (The babysitter's level of maturity and competence are the main attributes a parent should consider)" - From www.citizensinformation.ie.

But back on the main topic - health nurse is the best course of action. As I said earlier there is very little a concerned person can do about somebody else's child.

Fittle

I agree there are some very sensible 10yr olds. But the OP said that this child has been left alone since she was 7 - there are no 7yr olds capable of looking after themselves.

Take the advice here OP and find out who her local health nurse is.

kmick

Its not appropriate to contact Gardai, HSE, The school or anyone else for that matter until you have had a chat with the parents. An informal telephone call to her mother or father is your best bet.

Fittle

You don't seriously think if the OP has a 'chat' with parents who have been leaving their child to fend for herself since she was 7, that it will have any affect do you..honestly?? The school were already informed and nothing has changed. A 'chat' with the parents will have little, or no impact imo.

mumto3

Thanks for all you'r replies.Like i said she is a very imature 10yr old aswell which is even more worrying.My son has told me that she told him she now gets the public bus home from school but she has to do chores around the house to earn pocket money for the bus!!Speaking to the parents is not really an issue as they dont have much english and i live the far side of town now so dont see them,also as someone said i cant see them doing much about it.
I will ring the health nurse and see what she says,as this couple also have a younger child who is starting big school next september and i cant imagine things will change much with the routine apart from there will be 2 kids alone all day!

Chuchoter

I'd ring a health nurse or the school again. The whole thing is just asking for trouble. No-one knows where she is half the time and she's speaking with strange men online. She isn't safe.

crofty28

Hi Momof3,

This is a child protection issue & needs to be reported to the social work dept. This child is just that, a child & should be looked after. It'l be only a matter of time before she is home alone with her younger sibling, if thats not hapening already. I can assure you, that contacting social work is the right thing to do as I work in this area. Furthermore, she is at risk of predators from facebook, how wud she know not to give personal details at 10? I think u r very responsible to be concerned & should def follow this through, which you can do anonymously. Best of luck