sit back or speak up?

fidge.

i recently started a job, its going very well and everything but theres one woman i work with who is incredibley racist/right wing. we go to coffee every day and she sits there preaching to the staff about how all the immigrants shoud be 'sent home' and how 'nigerians are untrustworthy'. she also has her own opinion of irish people who claim welfare and that they should be kicked out of the country, and shouldnt be given a medical card.

everyone just sits there and nods. i believe it is because she is an older woman and in a more senior position. the whole thing enrages me/makes me very uncomfortable. i try to avoid having breaks the same time as her. although i just let it wash over me when she is spouting this ****, i think people like her will probably never change.

is it acceptable to sit back and let it go? or do you think that im cowardly/the other people i work with are for letting her go on like this?

mikemac

For me, regardless of my views I'd say nothing

Every workplace has moaners.
Not as extreme as this person but you're doing it right, let it wash over you

Why are you mentioning cowardly?
Nobody would call you a coward if you took no action

fidge.

maybe cowardlys the wrong word. i just feel a bit guilty when shes going on these rants and i just nod and smile!

im invisible

Ah, shes probly trying to get a bit of banter going, have a debate, and when nobody challanges her, she has to up the ante, try to get a reaction. If you have an opinion, why not voice it?
Me, I dont have much of an opinion on anything, so I wouldnt bother

mikemac

Trip her up if you want

One day she'll say someone her in her family is emigrating to Australia maybe.
Nail her then and ask should Australia be allowing Irish people past their borders with her current views?
Call her out and watch her fluster.


Me, I'd leave it be. Don't associate with negative people, they'll only drag you down and make you hate your job.
If that means you go to coffee on your own so be it. I often went for walks on my own for breaks and was happy in my own company

R.D. aka MR.D

It can be difficult but I would definitely not smile and nod. That would eat me up inside.

Normally if some one says something like to me and I don't want to get into conflict I normally say: 'Oh I don't know about that. It's easy to judge I suppose.' And then smile humbly.

You don't have to confront her or anything like that if you can't.

John Mason

or say something like, "it must be nice to have such a simplistic view of the world” or “as they say ignorance is bliss”

I have used both of them in my work place – dealing with similar muppets, nobody spurts that kind of crap in front of me anymore.

briano

irishbird wrote: »

..."it must be nice to have such a simplistic view of the world”...

Zing!

Mr. Loverman

What will you gain by challenging her?

Pineapple stu

Get an i-pod and turn it up when she comes in and just sit there smiling at her

sunflower27

I'm an immigrant (Australian) and currently on social welfare (the full whack!)

Tell her I said G'day!!!

Eoin

moved to Work Problems

krd

The woman is breaking the law

Prohibition of Incitement To Hatred Act, 1989

People have been sent to jail for hate speech. Even stuff you might consider mild - like the recruitment consultant shouting at a guy to f-off back to Africa (there was a squad car behind him )


It's depressing this woman even has a job - let alone a senior position. How does she feel about sexism.

You have to be careful with someone like that - She could be one these really crazy people who thinks she's absolutely normal.

She may not actually be that racist and right-wing, she may be doing it as an act of bullying and degrading. She may be baiting people - she could be trying to see who's afraid of her - sticking up could get you sacked.

I've only ever worked in one company where there was explicit racism (the managers used to call Asians, dirty Pakis. )

fidge.

sunflower27 wrote: »

I'm an immigrant (Australian) and currently on social welfare (the full whack!)

Tell her I said G'day!!!

haha, why would i encourage her? you should be brought out and shot in her opinion!

today i was subjected to a 20minute rant on the 'tinker fair' in smithfield..gets more tiresome by the day!
would love to say something to her/insult her in some way but dont really think it would get me anywhere far with someone that narrow-minded

irishbird wrote: »

or say something like, "it must be nice to have such a simplistic view of the world” or “as they say ignorance is bliss”

my favourite suggestion so far...

Mrs OBumble

Unless she's going to far as to incite hatred (and granted, she might be), then she's simply a person with very different opinions to your own.

Expect to find a few of these (in both right wing and left wing directions) as you go through your career.

I wouldn't comment publically at this stage: you're new, and don't really know the lie of the land (who supports who, who agrees with her, who she's sleeping with - or was in the past, etc). Also, you don't know if she'll turn into your manager at some point in the future!

Try quietly asking your colleagues to find out what the history is: do people actually agree with her ('cos I gotta tell you, some Irish people really do think like that)? Has someone stood up to her in the past?

Also, see if you can't manage to find some other people to go to coffee with. Bad karma to hang out with folks like her ...

mikemac

fidge. wrote: »

today i was subjected to a 20minute rant on the 'tinker fair' in smithfield..gets more tiresome by the day!

Maybe you're being too sensitive and easily upset by strong opinions

Leave it be and go for coffee on your own or with another group

MajorMax

sunflower27 wrote: »

I'm an immigrant (Australian) and currently on social welfare (the full whack!)

Tell her I said G'day!!!

Flamin' mongrel! Flamin' Gallah! (I learnt everything I needed to know about Australia from Home & Away)

limklad

JustMary wrote: »

Unless she's going to far as to incite hatred (and granted, she might be), then she's simply a person with very different opinions to your own.

Expect to find a few of these (in both right wing and left wing directions) as you go through your career.

I wouldn't comment publically at this stage: you're new, and don't really know the lie of the land (who supports who, who agrees with her, who she's sleeping with - or was in the past, etc). Also, you don't know if she'll turn into your manager at some point in the future!

Try quietly asking your colleagues to find out what the history is: do people actually agree with her ('cos I gotta tell you, some Irish people really do think like that)? Has someone stood up to her in the past?

Also, see if you can't manage to find some other people to go to coffee with. Bad karma to hang out with folks like her ...

I agree with this comment.

OP, Your woman maybe have nothing in her life to enjoy and usually deeply unhappy. People like her just sucks the life from the room and want all the attention on them and not others to replace her unhappiness. A short lived happiness.

I found that is mainly lazy or deeply envious jealous people who are compulsive notorious serial complainers/bigots and like to blame others for all their problems or more likely perceived problems.

There is no need to comment back to her about her behaviour. That is her bosses Job. Also you make yourself a Target, if you put yourself in Bullseye position. She has plenty of experience of putting people like you down and humiliate you in doing so and can make it look like it you are causing all the problems, and that the problems started when you started working there, upsetting the dynamics of the workplace. As you are a newbie, she has the upper hand on you, there has never been an issue before you started. Unless you know the dynamic of the Work collogues or history of pass grievances, you could be stepping into a minefield for yourself. Just observe your work collogues behaviour when she make these comments. You will learn more on what kind of minefield she has laid out.

[Jackass]

Do sunbeds until you get a very heavy tan and then get her fired for discrimination in the work place.

Personally, I'd just put it down to her being an idiot and I'd ignore her. I wouldn't let someone like that get under my skin, you can be sure everyone in the room is thinking the same thing...

"what an idiot"...

CoolGirl101

limklad wrote: »

I agree with this comment.

OP, Your woman maybe have nothing in her life to enjoy and usually deeply unhappy. People like her just sucks the life from the room and want all the attention on them and not others to replace her unhappiness. A short lived happiness.

I found that is mainly lazy or deeply envious jealous people who are compulsive notorious serial complainers/bigots and like to blame others for all their problems or more likely perceived problems.

There is no need to comment back to her about her behaviour. That is her bosses Job. Also you make yourself a Target, if you put yourself in Bullseye position. She has plenty of experience of putting people like you down and humiliate you in doing so and can make it look like it you are causing all the problems, and that the problems started when you started working there, upsetting the dynamics of the workplace. As you are a newbie, she has the upper hand on you, there has never been an issue before you started. Unless you know the dynamic of the Work collogues or history of pass grievances, you could be stepping into a minefield for yourself. Just observe your work collogues behaviour when she make these comments. You will learn more on what kind of minefield she has laid out.

WTF, so she gives her opinion and just because you don't agree it must mean she has no life?
She probably disagrees with the OP's views, but doubt she would go on about it...Everyone doesn't have to agree with you, deal with it.
Are you really that sensitive that you can't stick to hear a bit of ranting?

Sit with someone else if it bothers you.

Neyite

I wouldnt say anything for two reasons -

• You are only there a few months, and,
• She is more senior.

Just Mary is spot on here. Say nothing.

Firetrap

Speaking as someone who did open my gob in another job when I was younger and more impetuous :P, I'd recommend saying nothing. Most workplaces are too small when it comes to falling out with people. You'll still have to come into work and look at her every day until one of you leaves.

Kaybe

Personally, I could not sit there and "nod and smile" at her, and I'm actually quite surprised at the number of posters who think you should sit there and say nothing.

You obviously feel uncomfortable with what she is saying, uncomfortable enough to post on here about it. And, you clearly know that her racist opionions are morally wrong, and I would bet that your discomfort is also partly attributable to the fact that you too are now contributing to creating a racist work environment by playing along and smiling and nodding with her.

If you do not have the courage to politely challenge her on her racist views, the bare minimum that would be acceptable is to sit and say nothing but do not engage with her, smile with her or nod, or even make eye contact.

However, it is perfectly possible to challenge the lady politely - it does not have to be confrontational, and nor does it have to result in your falling out with anyone.

I would probably say something relatively mild along lines of "Oh - I don't know if I would agree with you... I have many friends and neighbours who are not Irish born, and the way I see it is that people-are-people no matter where they are from." If she persisted, I would probably again (politely) make a comment along lines of "Och - you'd want to be careful who you could insult - any one of us here at this table could have a relative who is not Irish, or a niece/nephew who is black skinned".
As you are new, she won't know if this is your situaiton or not, and should certainly get her to pull her horns back in a bit.

How big is the organisation? Why sit with the lady in the first place?
Personally, I cannot and I will not tolerate racism in any form, in any place - even if I were the new kid at work I would challenge it and could not allow it to continue.

peasant

Are you capable of standing up to someone without getting dragged into an argument ...then do.

If not ..then leave it.

People like that will not be reformed, any arguments you will have with her will be tedious to the extreme and end in a stalemate at best.

You have to either shut her up (if you can) or shut your ears (nodding and smiling optional)

Personally I have a bit of a trump card in discussions like this. I'm an immigrant myself, but idiots like her like to count me among the "good immigrants" and pull me into their camp. Mentioning to them that they could hardly expect one immigrant to tear into his fellow immigrants usually shuts them up for good ...at least while I'm around

krd

peasant wrote: »

People like that will not be reformed, any arguments you will have with her will be tedious to the extreme and end in a stalemate at best.

I have say, I've seen people under go Damascene conversions. Though through some personal experience.