friend of bf issue

LegacyUser

i have an issue with a friend of my bfs from a night out last week, its becoming a huge issue and i'm not sure what to do about it.

we were all heading on a big night out recently to an occassion. My bf told me we were going to their (a couple)home frist to get ready and would all head off together. My bf was about a half hour late getting me. When we arrived they were ready and had a load of people over. The guy (my bfs friend) complained in front of everyone that i was going upstairs to get ready instead of joining them. I had done my make up in car but just need to get changed and style my hair, it took me about twenty mins and there was an hour and a half to the event.

Every two mins the guy came up to the room telling me to get downstairs, he wouldn't knock or say excuse me, or even ask, just told me to get downstairs and that i wasn't being sociable and i shouldn't be so rude. My bf was there one of those times and i told him i was getting upset. It was a big night out and i wanted to look well. When my bf was changed he went and had his drink with the group leaving me to finish my hair with this guy coming up every two mins. I felt really upset and intimidated.

The guy had booked the taxi for an hour before the event i'm not sure why as it wasn't communicated i was just screamed at when the taxi arrived and told to get myself downstairs or i wouldn't be coming at all.

I had a rotten night and the guy kept complaining that i was in a mood. My hair was 2/3 in curls and the rest straight, i felt awful. Ever since any time my bf doesn't meet him when he asks he puts it down to me, he keeps telling ym bf that i'm rude and not a nice girl for him to be with. What on earth can i do about this!!!

Kimia

What a horrible guy. What did your boyfriend say to him when he was screaming at you all night? I'd have told him to fúck off tbh then let the chips fall as they may. He has no right to speak to you like that and you don't have to accept his nonsense. I would want my bf to stick up for me too, especially as it's his friend. I would never let one of my friends speak to my bf like that.

invinciblePRSTV

Was it the first time you were meeting this guy and this group of people?

I suggest trying to look at it from his perspective, ye arrived late and then immediately disappeared upstairs to do your hair and make-up, the fact you were still upstairs when the taxi arrived indicates you spent all your time at the house dolling yourself up, people can be tardy on time-keeping.

This guy might have been a bit peeved that his mate was late and was then stuck upstairs with yourself rather then being downstairs socialising with his group of friends before ye all headed out, perhaps he blamed ye arriving late on you?. Certainly he could have used a bit more tact when asking you to come down for the taxi, and not to bother you every 2 mins when you were up there, but i assume all his other guests had arrived ready dressed and ready to socialise and had done so in your absence?.

When you say you felt 'awful' on the night out what do you mean by this? did you sulk and display negative body language towards him or the rest of the group?If so, can you blame the guy for saying you were in a mood?.

Anyway rather then telling him to fcuk off or the like, or making a big deal out of it, perhaps ye guys should just forget about it for the sake of your bf.

mood

invinciblePRSTV the guy had no right to be abusive. If it were me I wouldn't give a sh*t if a friends other half was up stairs getting ready. He had other people to chat to etc. The OP was obviously upset by his treatment and I would be as well.

OP why did you boyfriend not tell him to back off or something?

cantdecide

It seems that no one here covered themselves in glory. You're bf was late but you still weren't ready? You sulked all night?

Yer man was well out of order and your bf should have stuck up for you but you werent exactly an innocent bystander.

I suggest you cool your jets and the next time youre all having a night out, be your usual wonderful self.

friend of bf issue

friend of bf issue wrote: »

he wouldn't knock or say excuse me, or even ask, just told me to get downstairs and that i wasn't being sociable and i shouldn't be so rude... ...Ever since any time my bf doesn't meet him when he asks he puts it down to me, he keeps telling ym bf that i'm rude and not a nice girl for him to be with.

This is of course unacceptable behaviour. He was out of order, but have you considered that he was under a lot of stress? There is some stuff in your post that doesn't really add up in terms of it being completely his fault.

When we arrived they were ready and had a load of people over. The guy (my bfs friend) complained in front of everyone that i was going upstairs to get ready instead of joining them.

So you already knew that he was stressed, everyone else was ready, and he had made it clear (in a pri*ky way, granted) that he was unhappy about you not being ready, but you still needed to curl your hair? I can understand getting changed but the hair does take the mick a bit.

I had done my make up in car but just need to get changed and style my hair, it took me about twenty mins and there was an hour and a half to the event.

You must have realised though that if there was an hour and a half to the event that wouldn't give you an hour and a half to do your hair, and it must have taken more than twenty minutes if you were still doing it when the taxi arrived, even if it was quite a bit in advance. You can't exactly say that he was mistaken in thinking you wouldn't be ready in time.

The guy had booked the taxi for an hour before the event i'm not sure why as it wasn't communicated i was just screamed at when the taxi arrived and told to get myself downstairs or i wouldn't be coming at all.

So he was the one who had booked the taxi, and so had probably been the one to organise timings etc. No doubt if this was such a big event that would have been a stressful role for him, and someone turning up late and still not being ready would have caused him a lot of anxiety.

I had a rotten night and the guy kept complaining that i was in a mood. My hair was 2/3 in curls and the rest straight, i felt awful.

If you were so upset about your hair I find it hard to believe you weren't in mood.

It was a big night out and i wanted to look well.

But the same applies to him, it was a big night and he didn't want to be late or have to book and pay for a second taxi. Try to also bear in mind that very often, guys don't understand the lengths women go to to look nice.

Sorry this reply is so long, I don't want you to think I'm saying it's your fault, just that you should try and see the situation from his point of view. I used to suffer from anxiety and one of the ways I've learned to get over it is by trying to prepare in advance of any stressful situations. It can cause extreme stress when an outside force (such as another person) messes up plans. He was out of line, but you weren't very understanding of the situation he was in either. Had you even gotten in touch in advance to let him know that you'd need to get ready?

invinciblePRSTV

mood wrote: »

invinciblePRSTV the guy had no right to be abusive. If it were me I wouldn't give a sh*t if a friends other half was up stairs getting ready. He had other people to chat to etc. The OP was obviously upset by his treatment and I would be as well.

OP why did you boyfriend not tell him to back off or something?

From what the op has said I don't think the chap in question was being abusive, rather just on the OPs case to hurry up when in the house, and then to cheer up when they were at the function. He certainly wasn't covering himself in glory by nagging and p*ssing off the op, but abusive? nah.

Plus it wasn't a question of the guy not having someone to chat to, rather as mentioned, It appears he'd taken on the role of organiser for the night out and things were threatening to not go according to plan and he was getting hot under the collar. As a lazy man myself i'm not a stickler for time-keeping and doing things by the clock, but many people are and get flustered as a result when things don't go their way, the guy in question needs to relax that's for sure.

Also it's probably a bit much to expect the bf to intervene and tell him to back off, the guy is supposed to be on a night out with his gf and his friends, does he really want to escalate an argument and cause a scene out of something so trivial by taking sides? perhaps the real fault in this situation lies with the bf himself for showing up late with a partner when neither of them were ready to be there. Next time perhaps OP ye should just agree to meet this guy out on the town! or just get ready earlier.

LegacyUser

true-or-false wrote: »

So you already knew that he was stressed, everyone else was ready, and he had made it clear (in a pri*ky way, granted) that he was unhappy about you not being ready, but you still needed to curl your hair? I can understand getting changed but the hair does take the mick a bit.


You must have realised though that if there was an hour and a half to the event that wouldn't give you an hour and a half to do your hair, and it must have taken more than twenty minutes if you were still doing it when the taxi arrived, even if it was quite a bit in advance. You can't exactly say that he was mistaken in thinking you wouldn't be ready in time.


So he was the one who had booked the taxi, and so had probably been the one to organise timings etc. No doubt if this was such a big event that would have been a stressful role for him, and someone turning up late and still not being ready would have caused him a lot of anxiety.

Eh, the OP was informed that she would be getting ready in this place before leaving. But her bf turned up half an hour late. It wasn't her fault. What was she supposed to do then when she arrived, go out looking in a state while everyone else is done up? I dont see why this prat friend of her bf needed to harrass her every two minutes. Why couldnt he just let her get on with it, the tax wasnt due for a good while anyway. And why didnt the bf set this guy straight that it was his fault they were late and to leave the OP alone. I can't see how you've done anything wrong OP, looks to me like this knob and your bf were the ones out of order. You should be getting an apology from your bf and tell him to set the friend straight that it wasn't your fault you were late.

LegacyUser

Kind of surprised by some of the replies. I am asking for help on how to resolve the situation now, not to analyse the night.

My bf and i were staying at this guys house, the plan was that we would all meet at house before hand, the girls would get ready and guys have a drink then we'd head off together. The event was a ball so i'm sure he knew there would be a bit of getting ready involved especially as his own gf would put a lot of effort into looking very well for these occassions. I had no idea the taxi would be so early and this was never communicated to me, i only found out when it arrived! My bf was only with me for 5 mins, he went into shower first came back to me got changed and went downstairs, i had a really quick shower, got changed and spent about ten mins on my hair. As far as i know we were only about 5 mins late to the house. I wasn't ready when my bf collected me because i had just gotten home from work, was grabbing my stuff to go immediately, and the plan was to all get ready there. My bf said to him the first time, leave her be she'll be down when she's ready but nothing any other time as he wasn't there. I didn't sulk for the night but i didn't really have anyone to talk to as i knew nobody there. I stuck with my boyfriend mainly.

As i said my problem isn't a bad night out, its the constant insults and criticisms this guy is giving my bf about me. We were going out a night out with different friends of bf, and this guy decided he wanted to go too, but as we were going to the others house it wasn't our invitation to give. He got really stroppy with my bf saying i was trying to come between them and i was a bitch for not letting him have his nice night out etc. Every time my bf lifts the phone to him i can hear him saying to his mate, no she's not like that at all

I feel like there is nothing i can do about it, but he calls my bf about twice a day and i feel really drained with it

mood

He walked into a room with out knocking knowing she was changing, ordered her around and screamed at her... that is abusive.

lynsalot

Hey OP,

Is this a good friend of your boyfriends? To be honest I personally don't see why he was so stressed out. When there's a lot of people involved in something it never goes to plan. Why couldn't you and the bf just follow in a cab yourselves afterwards. Why was he consumed with going up to you every few minutes. He should've enjoyed his night regardless. That would be my attitude anyway

But.. maybe your bf has been late before and he has an issue with this? Has your bf spoken to him about it to sort it out? They need to sort it out big time. it seems like a very small issue to have such a barney over. There has to be more to it.

If this is a close friend of your bfs then you two need to sort it out. This other guy has no business telling your bf he shouldn't be with you. Its your relationship and none of his business and to have this attitude over you being late doesn't make sense.

What else happened on the night? Ok you felt you weren't done up enough and it ruined your night somewhat. Were u badmouthing this bloke over it? Or were other words spoken. Did this guy insult u continually for no reason? If thats the case, your bf needs to have a serious word because it's not on.

If we're going to use words as strong as abusive then we could also class her coming into his house and setting up camp in one of his rooms against his wishes trespassing. He was acting like an a**, not being abusive.

mood

Her boyfriend had arranged (most likely with this guy) that they get ready at his house.

Kidchameleon

OP,

Was your BF's friend on drugs by any chance? I ask this seriously because his/her behavior sounds totally crazy, like somebody buzzing out of their head! Your fella should have stood up for you. If you were my GF and you were being treated like that, there is no way I would have continued out for the night. No way. I'd also be having serious words with my friend...

LegacyUser

friend of bf issue wrote: »

.....My bf was about a half hour late getting me. When we arrived they were ready and had a load of people over. The guy (my bfs friend) complained in front of everyone that i was going upstairs to get ready instead of joining them. I had done my make up in car but just need to get changed and style my hair, it took me about twenty mins and there was an hour and a half to the event.

Your boyfriend was half an hour late picking you up? Does that mean you arrived at the friend's house half an hour late? And you still weren't ready? The friend over-reacted and was a d*ck, but I don't think "abusive" is the correct term.

LegacyUser

HHe invited me into his home so i don't think i can be accused of trespassing, he also told us which room was ours for the night and my bf had to get changed as well. I don't think he was on drugs although he seemed extremely moody with his gf as well, he walked off from her at the table a few times. But as this seems to have spilled over into him criticising me for everything...is there anything i can do about it

LegacyUser

bleeblee wrote: »

Your boyfriend was half an hour late picking you up? Does that mean you arrived at the friend's house half an hour late? And you still weren't ready? The friend over-reacted and was a d*ck, but I don't think "abusive" is the correct term.

Seriously can people please read the replies before posting?????????

We were not very late to the guys house, plus our arrangement was to get ready there not to arrive ready. He never communicated that he was ordering an early taxi or that other people would be in the house. I was not ready as that was not the arrangement and i had just gotten home from work to pick my stuff up and go. He knew all this!

friend of bf issue

friend of bf issue wrote: »

HHe invited me into his home so i don't think i can be accused of trespassing, he also told us which room was ours for the night and my bf had to get changed as well. I don't think he was on drugs although he seemed extremely moody with his gf as well, he walked off from her at the table a few times. But as this seems to have spilled over into him criticising me for everything...is there anything i can do about it

Apologies for not posting anything helpful previously. To stick to advice all I can say is you should get your boyfriend to have a word with him. I usually think people should sort issues by themselves, but in this situation I think a word from your bf would carry far more weight and sound a lot more reasonable to this guy. Also sorry if you thought I was accusing you of trespassing; I was using the word in a ridiculous way on purpose to point out that the use of the word abusive was uncalled for. I'll leave the thread before I cause any more trouble! Good luck

Crea

If his friend is continuing to insult you after the night out then your bf needs to man up and defend you. Saying "she isn't like that all the time" is NOT defending you. He should be telling his friend to shut the hell up and respect you.
The friend seems to be very assertive (being diplomatic) and have no social skills if he thinks he can insult others partners. It's up to your bf to defend you properly - i'm afraid there is nothing you can do about this asshole.

Aishae

yeah get the bf to have a word with him about it. it sounds like - if he wasnt on drugs - then it could be a deeper issue. if your bf and him are close friends perhaps its stemmed from him seeing you as a threat to his friendship. even though it doesnt make 100% perfect sense - people dont always make sense.

if the incident was confined to one night - when his general behaviour seemed whacky - you could put that down to stress as the organiser and perhaps let it lie. but you said he brought things up a lot on the phone? so he isn't letting whatever it is lie. so definitely get the bf to have a word.

cantdecide

+1

If he's still going on about it and you're bf isn't stopping him, he needs to grow a spine.

ash23

Don't see why the boyf has to say something. Surely the OP can speak for herself?

Anyway, the guy was being a total d*ck and if I were you I would have called him on it himself.
If he walked into a room where I was dressing without knocking, I can assure you he wouldn't have done it again!
If that meant me walking out of the house, I'd have done it.

You're upset your bf didn't stand up for you. I'd be more upset that I didnt stand up for myself.

Big Bag of Chips

+1 to ash23.

OP, you are an adult.. I assume, which means that you have the abuility to stand up for yourself in any argument and not need others to fight your battle for you.

For whatever reason (maybe the dynamics of their friendship) your bf is unable to effectively stand up to this guy. But YOU are allowed stand up for yourself.

Stop being so bothered by this guy. Contact him, ring him.. dont' text! Tell him in no uncertain terms that his opinion of you matters very little to you, and you'd appreciate it if he's stop whinging in your bf's ear about you. Also tell him if he had communicated all his plans to your earlier, you would have made sure to be ready, or at least got a later taxi yourselves.

I get the impression you are quite a non-confrontational person, but in this case you need to stand up for yourself.. you can do it without being confrontational. You will be shaking and probably terrified to do it - but stand up for yourself once, and you'll be better able to do it again (or you may not need to as he'll back off!)

mood

The OPs boyfriend needs to stand up for himself also. This guy is tell him he shouldn't be with the OP based on this nights events. It's not his place to do this. He needs to be politely told to keep out of their relationship.

spinandscribble

I agree you need to stand up for yourself, in a ideal world your bf would have the balls to put him in his place but that doesn't sound like its going to happen. Before this night did the two of you get along?

LegacyUser

Sorry i keep leaving info out.

That night was the first and only night i met him, he also came up to me at the ball and said that my bf would never leave him for me???

I didn't call him out that night as i felt it would be impolite to do so and i knew if i had an argument with him that this would embarrass my bf. I don't have any contact with him at all. But living in a tiny paper thin walls apartment i can hear all thei phone calls, or at least my bfs end anyway. Whenever i ask my bf what was he saying he just shakes his head and says don't mind him. I don't think my bf is taking it seriously for now, but i'm bothered by it and worried it could develope in the future. They are very close friends but live some distance from each other and don't see each other often

Peanut2011

OP, the only thing you can do is tell your BF to GROW UP and MAN UP! :eek:
He should not have put you in that situation and even if you ended up there he should have made sure you were looked after and not pestered by his friend.

mood

friend of bf issue wrote: »

Sorry i keep leaving info out.

That night was the first and only night i met him, he also came up to me at the ball and said that my bf would never leave him for me???

That is f*cked up thing to say. Does your boyfriend think this is normal because it isn't. He really needs to tell the guy to keep his opinions to himself. How long are you with your boyfriend? Do you live together? Is this guy in a relationship?

spinandscribble

Tbh He was well out of order BUT I can see it a bit from his point of view. First time you've met this group and you go STRAIGHT upstairs to look after yourself. As annoying as it seems you needed to pander to the group, share a drink before remarking "oh shoot look at the state of me compared to all these girls! better get ready quickly!".

Their first impression of you wasn't the best and tbh I don't know why you decided to curl your hair if you were caught for time.

This guy seems determined to dislike you but If I was you I'd meet him again with your bf (with no drink involved for him or extensive dressing up for you) say a meal and to give eachother a chance again. Tell him that its a chance to get to know eachother properly without either of you stressed.

You'll probably never get on like a house on fire but you need to try and sort it out some way or another.

If he chooses not to meet up at least your bf will, or should be able to tell which of you if the bigger person...

poozers

why was this guy dwelling on you being ready??? why did your boyfriend leave you in a house full of strangers?? (or alone with this guy, not too clear in your post when you said your boyf left you with this guy after he had his drink)!

this guy seemed pretty obsessed with you being ready!! the whole story seems a bit strange altogether! id take everyone elses advice and talk to this guy yourself, dont take any crap from him, as he sounds like he's right up his own a,rse!!! ...AND talk to your boyfriend, not exacly standing up for you if he knew you felt uneasy and intimidated!!! from your posts it doesnt sound like he cares that this guy is intimidating you! and if he wont stand up to this guy, either for you, or himself, then i really dont think he's much of a boyfriend!!

anyway, dont be afraid of this creep, he's all talk!! you'll feel 100 times better, and more in control if you talk to him yourself, cos it sounds like your boyf isnt too bothered! sorry, but its just from what i can get from your posts!!

cafecolour

friend of bf issue wrote: »

That night was the first and only night i met him, he also came up to me at the ball and said that my bf would never leave him for me???

Umm. Your BF's friend sounds gay for him.

Azureus

Not everybodys gonna like you all of the time. This guy obviously has some kind of aversion to his friend being in a relationship (by what he said to you at the ball, I imagine this is because he wants his friend all to himself-some people can be very possessive within friendships). I advise ignoring it. Dont call him and confront him because that would blow the whole thing out of proportion and give his opinions some weight. But do make sure that your bf knows exactly what you think is going on and that you expect him to stand up for you if his friend is giving him crap about you. If you do see him again, be nice and pretend nothing has happened, Dont carry over a grudge with him. If he says anything else, let him know that you're aware that he has some kind of problem with you and ask him what exactly it is. Dont get into an argument, but make sure that he knows that you care about his friend and arent going anywhere.

My best friend was actually a little bit like this with my boyfriend for a long time. Everything he did was wrong for no particular reason and my boyfriend maintains that it was just because I didnt have as much time for the friend as I did before (even though I still saw them a lot and talked all the time). The friend came around eventually, I imagine your bf's will do the same. Make a little bit of an effort though, the guy was a dick but its part and parcel of relationships to win the friends of the OH over

Good luck

LegacyUser

spinandscribble wrote: »

Tbh He was well out of order BUT I can see it a bit from his point of view. First time you've met this group and you go STRAIGHT upstairs to look after yourself. As annoying as it seems you needed to pander to the group, share a drink before remarking "oh shoot look at the state of me compared to all these girls! better get ready quickly!".

Their first impression of you wasn't the best and tbh I don't know why you decided to curl your hair if you were caught for time.

This guy seems determined to dislike you but If I was you I'd meet him again with your bf (with no drink involved for him or extensive dressing up for you) say a meal and to give eachother a chance again. Tell him that its a chance to get to know eachother properly without either of you stressed.

You'll probably never get on like a house on fire but you need to try and sort it out some way or another.

If he chooses not to meet up at least your bf will, or should be able to tell which of you if the bigger person...

Again, could people please read the replies before posting????

i'll repeat myself again....

The arrangement he had made with my bf was for us to come to the house to get ready, his gf was also getting ready and we were to get ready together so he and my bf could have a drink. When we arrived there were other people there that we did not know. There was another girl getting ready in another room but i didn't hear him harrassing her at all. He never communicated the time of the taxi to us, only screamed at me when it was there so i thought i had a lot more time than i had.

My bf had had a shower, gotten changed and went downstairs. He was there the first time the guy came up to shout at me but not the other times.

My main concern now is there any way to stop this bitchiness with this guy, as he's in contact with my bf a lot and complains about me every single time. I live with my bf and he's been here twice when i haven't. Each time he's remarked on the 'state' of the place and said i was a shocking woman to be keeping a house. I had been away on work for a week and the second time i was in london on a hen weekend, so my bf was doing the cleaning and i'm sure it was fine as he's pretty clean. But either way i don't think you should ever insult someone elses home.

I guess the only thing to do is have a serious talk with my bf andsee where that leads

Distorted

Granted it might have been slightly annoying that you headed upstairs to get ready as soon as you arrived, but its hardly the worst thing. Your boyfriend's friend behaviour is totally out of proportion and he sounds a bit of a bully and a control freak. The comments about the state of your house and about you "keeping it" show a really awful attitude towards women and their role in the world. Is he misogynistic? He sounds almost jealous of your relationship with your boyfriend. But your boyfriend should really be sticking up for you - it may be a sign that he is under his friend's control so much that he doesn't. I would tend just to stand up to him and tell him how awful he is, so he knows he not getting away with it.

LegacyUser

I dont think hes under the thumb but he would let things slide a lot and i think he confuses rudeness for having the craic. i've sent him a msg to say i want to talk when we get home tonight to make sure hes free

Neyite

Its your home too. If someone made horrible comments about my house, and insinuations that its somehow the 1940's and I am expected to be the cleaner, then my boyfriend would be told not to bring him over again.

But then, my boyfriend would not tolerate someone who is like this. Few would. Your boyfriend should not be entertaining a conversation where you are being demeaned.

Why are you even trying to meet this guy halfway? He sounds like a horrible person. I wouldnt bother if I were you.

gosuckonalemon

He sounds like a knob, your bf sounds like a spineless pussy for not sticking up for you and u sound like an over sensitive walkover!

Big Bag of Chips

friend of bf issue wrote: »

My main concern now is there any way to stop this bitchiness with this guy,

I'll say it again - pull him up on it. You're bf isn't going to say anything. It seems that you don't want to say anything either. Sorry to say it, but nobody is going to "fix" this for you. You're going to have to do it yourself.

Your bf may never stand up to him. He may always think he's just having the "craic" while you feel it is completely inappropriate.. the only thing you can do, is stand up for yourself.

I repeat

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Stop being so bothered by this guy. Contact him, ring him.. dont' text! Tell him in no uncertain terms that his opinion of you matters very little to you, and you'd appreciate it if he's stop whinging in your bf's ear about you.

Why do you feel that you can't/shouldn't stand up for yourself? "Because he's my bf's friend" isn't a good enough reason by the way! !

LegacyUser

is everyone forgetting the massive elephant in the room? The guy was probably not being abusive by coming into the room every 5mins he was probably drunk! You arrived late, went upstairs, didnt pre drink with everyone else then 1hr 30mins later still werent ready for the taxi! If I had a few drinks in me I'd be complaining as well (though in a more ah jaysus way). Then you were in a bad mood all night bringing down everyones buzz. Theres two sides to every story. I doubt he was purposedly abusive he was prob more of a drunken pest who didnt realise he was making you feel that way

Big Bag of Chips

hellomynameisalcohol wrote: »

then 1hr 30mins later still werent ready for the taxi!

I don't know if you or I have taken this up wrong.. I got the impression she arrived at the house an hour and half before the event, and he had organised a taxi for an hour before the event.. therefore leaving her 30 mins to get ready.. ?

Surely he wouldn't have been THAT drunk an hour and a half before an event to not have basic cop on to know it's not appropriate to keep going into a room, where his friends girlfriend, who he has never met, is getting dressed?

OP - possible faults on both sides. His bigger than yours it would seem. I also think he is jealous of your relationship with his buddy. (I don't know too many people who ring each other twice a day!) How old are you all by the way?!

Your options are, talk to him or put up with it.
He could be the "stroppy" one in the group and all the other friends, your bf included have now just become immune to him. You have the problem with him, you need to sort it for yourself.

LegacyUser

I feel i don't have a problem with him but i'm upset by his problem with me and his constant nasty comments about me. If he hadn't kept on after that night i would have left it and forgotten about it. I did say hello to everyone when i arrived but went off to get ready then, i didn't stop to chat. Spoke to my bf who said he feels that he wasn't being rude -'thats just the way he is, you'll get used to it'. I have told him i won't be getting used to it and will meet him again for dinner to see if we can get along but if any of the same occurs i won't be meeting him again and i expect my bf not to allow him pester me or insult me or our home. He doesn't agree the guy didn't behave well on the night but has agreed to above.

We'll see....

mood

Does you boyfriend think that the following was normal think to say - 'my bf would never leave him for me???'

It's not. I know of nobody who has ever said this to a friends OH or had it said to them. It's a f*cked up thing to say and is creepy.

You still haven't said how long you are going out with your boyfriend! If this was the first time you meet this guy and you are with your boyfriend a long time (which is possible seeing are you live together) it is possible you won't see him very often which would be good.

poozers

friend of bf issue wrote: »

Again, could people please read the replies before posting????

i'll repeat myself again....

People are just trying to help!!! be patient!!!!!!! my suggestion from all of your posts is to get your head out of your own ars,e, dump your wuss of a boyfriend, and forget about this whole thing!!!do you think your boyfriends friend is going on about you as much as you are about him??? i doubt it!! your boyfriend and his friend sound like a-ssholes and are not worth the hassle! you sound panicky in your posts, so dont stress yourself out over something so stupid!!!

Ickle Magoo

Please keep replies on topic and helpful to the OP.

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Please take the time to read the forum rules in the charter and abide by them.

Many thanks.
Ickle