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need advice please

  • 05-03-2011 4:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    basically me and the girlfriend are together a long time. We have had an amazing relationship, with both its ups and its downs. We love each other so much, and have a great future planned out for ourselves.

    However, I have applied for this years Army Cadetship, and this is causing a massive rift between us.

    She fails to understand the fact that if we ever want to get married or have kids or even to move in together, I (or we) need to have stable incomes.

    She hates the fact that I'm going to barely see her for 15 months if I do get in. I know it would be extremely tough for both of us, but she can't see the bigger picture and she's only focusing on the here and now!

    I'm really lost as to what to do, as this is my lifes dream goal.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!


Comments

  • #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 3,505 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Everyone falls victim to their own selfishness sometimes. She's finding it hard to see the situation from your point of view and I'm afraid it might take a good while for her to calm down. She probably feels like you don't care that you wont see her. Try to explain to her that this is something you have to do, and that it's just for a while. Tell her that you'll be thinking of her all the time and that it's a necessary evil if you're both going to have a life together.

    I have a friend that's going through something similar to your girlfriend. Her boyfriend's going away for a while and they're still not sure whether they should break up for it or not. She was really upset and he didn't realise, because to him he was just going away for a while, but to her they were probably breaking up. Try to explain to your girlfriend that it wont change anything between you.


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