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How do you keep a relationship strong when times are hard?

  • 04-03-2011 2:22pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    Let me start by saying that myself and my boyfriend are very much in love. We live together and most of the time things are great. He has been laid off recently and he is depressed about it and I'm the closest person to him so I bear the brunt of it so to speak. I've been in his position so I understand. We have money worries and this is all putting a lot of pressure and stress on us. We bicker nearly every day and vent our frustrations on each other. We want to work through it and I know a time will come when it will all fall back into place but how do you handle it til then? How do you keep the fun and happiness in situations like this? The fun is dying and it's so hard. We're trying our best looking for work for him etc but it seems a dead end for now.

    How do you keep a relaionship strong in the face of adversity?


Comments

  • #2
    Permabear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


  • #3
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    One of the biggest stressors in a relationship is money. Its what causes the most arguments.

    Not long after we moved in together, I lost my job, then after nearly a year, got one again and a month later he lost his for 6 months. This was in the boom years, and nearly every month there was a hen or a stag or a big occasion sent to test us!

    Like permabear said, agree a budget, and stick to it where possible, changes to it should be agreed on by both of you. Agree to talk about things sooner rather than when they erupt. Be able to recognise when someone is making the effort to save/not spend and be fair. We used to sit down once a week and talk about what we had to pay, what took priority that week (cos ya cant pay them all) work out where you can save: packed lunches, cook in bulk and make freezer meals, give up smokes, etc.

    Ban bickering. We have a ban on namecalling and shouting. It serves no purpose only to hurt. if bickering starts, walk away, and resume the conversation when both of you are calm enough to talk.

    You can do lots of things that cost little money - a sexy night in, a bath night together. Watching a movie and making your own popcorn etc.

    But remember, it wont last forever, and you will look back with pride if you can remember that while times were tough, you learned a lot about communication.


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