Friday Funnies

MonkieSocks

Saint Peter had a terrible cold and fever and didn't think he would last the day minding the Pearly Gates of Heaven.

So he phoned Jesus to ask for the day off.

"Why... Peter"... Jesus said. "You know your health is my first concern.

Take as much time off as you need".

As Jesus pondered who he might use to replace Peter....he decided to handle the job himself.

It was a very slow day.... so no one approached the Gates until late in the afternoon.

Then...In the distance... Jesus saw a bent... white-haired old man slowly making his way up the path with the aid of a gnarled cane.

As the man got nearer Jesus said... "Good afternoon...sir....How may I help you?".

"Well"... replied the old man.... "I was hoping to enter the Gates of Heaven".

"We would certainly love to have you"... said Jesus, "but we do have certain rules as to who can enter Heaven.

Tell me... what have you done to deserve such an honour?".

"Well I've not done anything very interesting myself".... said the old man.

"I lived in a small town and led a simple life as a carpenter.

NOW!....Take my son!".... he continued. "HE.. WAS SPECIAL !".

With pride in his voice he said.... "I raised him to be a carpenter like myself and did my best to teach him right from wrong.

And when he grew older....an amazing transformation overcame him and to this day he's known throughout the world and loved by all alike".

As Jesus listened to the old man's story.... a sense of recognition came to him.

With a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye....he threw open his arms and cried.....

"Father!".

Emotional at this outburst.....the old man threw open his arms and yelled....



"Pinocchio!!".

___________________________

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Carra23

Priest at Freddie Mercury's funeral : Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
If you went for pussy,
You'd still be with us ......