weird? strange? selfish?

LegacyUser

First off: I am 19 year old male and I have never had a relationship and never had sex. I have had many women intrested in me and I have had loads of oppurtunities to have relationships but I am just not intrested EVER.....

I do feel sexually attracted to women but I have never 'fallen for someone' and I have never met a women that has made me want to commit to


When I see all my friends from different parts of my life (home, work ect..) They all seem to have relationships right now and I don't and it just doesnt bother the slightest. It never fails to amaze me how obessed people are with sex,relationships though. Jesus I am slagged on a weekly basis for not having a girlfriend

I know I am very young but I have even started to wonder wether I even need a relationship.iam happy by myself (since i was like 6 i was always on my own) I like to go for late night walks on my own, drive on my own and shop by myself. I have even started to question wether I want children lol


Is my behaviour strange for someone my age? and am I being selfish considering I just want to be left alone?

Distorted

I guess for many guys its peer pressure - they will get asked in the pub if they have a girlfriend, etc, and want to fit in. And I guess also the sexual urge. And I would think also most people get to the stage where they don't want to be alone any more and the effort of meeting someone special is worthwhile to them. So in answer to your title question, neither particularly wierd or strange, but possibly selfish. In that being in a relationship means giving up independence for the benefits it brings.

Theres various studies that seem to show that being in a relationship leads to more happieness, better health, more success in life, etc.. That said, there are plenty of people happy enough single. At 19, you are hardly at any risk of being left behind, but you might want to think about developing skills that you might need in future life if you don't want to be. I guess it is sort of selfish not to want to interact with other human beings to some extent.

Interesting post, not sure if my random musings are of any value!

mood

OP you don't have to fall for someone before you start seeing or going out with them. That happens over time. If your waiting for love at first sight you could be waiting a very, very long time! If you get on with and fancy a girl why not start seeing her?

txt_mess

Two points first is that people have different ideas about life if you don't want to have a girlfriend then don't , not in a rush for a sexual relationship thats you business and your choice there are pro's and con's to everything but go with what you feel makes you comfortable.

Second point is I have an uncle who has never really had a relationship even in his younger days he apparently never was bothered he has loads of friends and an active social life but he has always valued being single and he is one of the happiest people I know so relationships are not the be all and end all for some people.

RebeccaWatCom

maybe you're just aromantic...?

purity

Relationships are over estimated. I was exactly like you when I was 19 and never saw the big deal with relationships or sex, Your behaviour is completely normal if anything your the one with the common sense.

flowerchild

There are lots of different pathways through the world. One of my best friends when I was your age was a guy who never had sexual relationships. He was handsome and bright and strong and charming and gay, and he just didn't get involved. And he was v happy.

LegacyUser

flowerchild wrote: »

He was handsome and bright and strong and charming and gay, and he just didn't get involved.

That's one of the things that annoys me most. People automatically think your gay and if you tell people your just not intrested they think your weird. Terrible country for attaching labels to people..........

RebeccaWatCom

i think they flowerchild meant gay as in the old-fashioned sense of the word (happy).....
Many people have no interest in sex and relationships , to anyone who's interested look up the AVEN website.....