To remain friends?

flay

Hey all theres this Girl in class I am friends with. Its the same old story im afraid! We clicked as friends and rang each other a few times no question we get on fantastic as friends. The thing is I started to become attracted to her. Nothing heavy as yet but the problem is she has a boyfriend who she was with a while. I have fancied her for a while now and to tell the truth I have been secretly hoping that something would happen between us. I think im just torturing myself staying friends with her.

Even when I try to put it out of my head the hope that something more could happening will always be at the back of my head so I have decided to limit or cut our friendship. not out of spite but to make things easier. Has anyone here got any advice or been though a simular dillema and can offer advice?

LegacyUser

Being a guy who suspects one of his girlfriends college friends has a crush on her, please for their relationships sake back off for a while, for them and for yourself.

Depending how long they've been going out, how they feel about each other, you could really put yourself out there and get crushed AND potentially loose a friendship and cause a rift within your group of friends.

Try not see her for a while, don't go to lunch if people if you know she'll be there, don't go on nights out if she's there, try hang out with other people etc. I know it's tough but it's for the best.

Think of it this way, for her to get with you she'd have to either cheat or dump her bf for you. If a girl is willing to do that, to discard someone for another, do you really want to be with her? What's saying 6 months time she won't do the same to you?

I would say favour caution, but of course the decision is up to you.

cantdecide

Fair play for being mature about it. Its happened most of it at some stage Don't make a 'thing' of it. Don't overtly give her a wide berth. Don't be averse to participating in group events but definitely don't agree to meet her for a one to one coffee or anything like that.

If I could go back to my younger self, I'd tell him not to bother with the friends thing.. See what she says, if she says to be friends, just leave it there and forget about her. It's not like you'll know these people in a few years anyway.

Vicxas

Look if youre starting to develop feelings for the girl then you need to back off as you're only leading yourself down a path where you will pour your heart out and it'll ruin everything.

flay

He guys im getting older now and have gone down this route before and its not good. I have learned from this and dont want to torture myself anymore. I know she has a boyfriend and has shown no signs of leaving him. She does flirt everynow and again but I deserve better than that.

Thanks for all the advice guys the problem is though we are quite close and talk a lot she will notice that I have been limiting contact with her. How do I explain it to her if she asks?

flay

123doraywha wrote: »

Being a guy who suspects one of his girlfriends college friends has a crush on her, please for their relationships sake back off for a while, for them and for yourself.

Depending how long they've been going out, how they feel about each other, you could really put yourself out there and get crushed AND potentially loose a friendship and cause a rift within your group of friends.

Try not see her for a while, don't go to lunch if people if you know she'll be there, don't go on nights out if she's there, try hang out with other people etc. I know it's tough but it's for the best.

Think of it this way, for her to get with you she'd have to either cheat or dump her bf for you. If a girl is willing to do that, to discard someone for another, do you really want to be with her? What's saying 6 months time she won't do the same to you?

I would say favour caution, but of course the decision is up to you.

I wont pursue someone with a boyfriend full stop ill have to be careful is all.

Azureus

From the girls point of view on this one, I have been the girl with the boyfriend and its difficult for everybody when a friend develops feelings for you, dont make it any more difficult for yourself or her. The best thing is to distance yourself; she will understand. 'Flirting' isnt always actually flirting, if that makes sense. Dont read into anything and keep your distance. Transfer the attention onto a nice single gal!

Colonel_McCoy

Time to back off, you are only setting yourself up for a a huge fall.........dont give yourself false hope...........move on to some single girl.

flay

Dont worry everyone I defiantly agree thats why im cutting contact but th question is what do I tell her if she asks why?