shunned

LegacyUser

my father did something a couple of years back. it was a legal case and it caused a lot of controversy amongst my 'friends' and people in town. because of this i was shunned by everyone. i had to put up with it for nearly two years because i couldnt leave town as i was in school. because of this i became very withdrawn and anti social. now that i have left town i dont feel i have any connection with the place i grew up in and i feel now that resentful, angry and bitter. i get panic attacks when i return to the town. ive been arrested once because i couldnt control my temper on an occassion. i dont know what the future has in store. i have lost trust in people and i cant reach out anymore

Queen-Mise

Tough situation to be in. All you could do was sit out the two years until you finished school.

I would say go easy. You can't just turn on 'happy smiley person' like a switch, or create friends with a snap of the fingers. Trust will come back slowly & surely. People at the moment are far more concerned with all their own problems - try to keep that in perspective if you are thinking about what happened in the past.

Lots of help there for you in regards to anger. GP for starters and go from there. And to be really annoying in regards to the future - the world is your oyster :) I have no idea what you would like to do in your life/career.

Even start slowly - if you like soccer, then play soccer with a club. You don't have to sort out your whole life in the next 6 months.

Slow & steady

eddison

Hi OP,

Allot of people in the city do not understand this at all, when a whole community turns against you. It happens allot in the country, especially in the South Leinster region. Monageer and Clonroache spring to mind. Question is, will you ever be accepted again? If the answer is no, then this makes your future decisions much easier.
If the community is truly shunning you, then they must be small minded. They have done you a favour. You will probably move on in time, and be very glad you did. If you stayed within a narrow minded community which shuns people, then you would always be limited in expressing who you are, and behaving as they do.
Anyway, there is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with them, as you did nothing wrong. Hold on to this- you have done nothing wrong. Be angry if you like but whats that going to do? You have a decision to make, will you one day move on, or will you stay and tough it out. There is a big world out there, and plenty to see, and some fantastic people who are not backward.

Kevin Duffy

shunned wrote: »

ive been arrested once because i couldnt control my temper on an occassion. i dont know what the future has in store. i have lost trust in people and i cant reach out anymore

Lots of people have been arrested. It's not the worst thing and you can put it behind you.
What the future has in store needn't be a worry, let it be something to look forward to - if I read it right, you are young enough to have lots of potential ahead of you. When I was at (what I think is) your age, I had no clue I'd end up where I am and I can't complain about the journey.
You've started the process of trying to make sense of things by posting on here, so your trust in people is not completely gone and you have reached out. Keep going now that you've started, it's a process, not just a quick-fix and you'll find lots of ways to keep that process going - a new social circle, new pursuits and skills, educational and work options, new relationships, travel, maybe professional help if you feel it's right for you.

Sorry you had a few shít years, but no need for them to set the whole pattern for your future. Sorry too if this sounds patronising, it's mean to sound helpfully encouraging Good luck.