How to end it sensitively

LegacyUser

This one is a question for the ladies. How can I break up with my girlfriend in a sensitive way without causing too much pain? We've been together 5 months, and I've found that we have very little in common. I like to read and discuss things that might seem a bit nerdy like history, politics and economics, but I'm not a bore and have normal interests like GAA, going out etc. She is intelligent, but discussions are limited and revolve around the same number of topics like her friends, social life etc. I want someone who I can discuss things with and I've reached the end of the line with her. The reason why I'm doing it now is because we haven't started a sexual relationship and I want to end it before it reaches that stage- I respect her and don't want to use her. I guess what I'm trying to ask is what's the best way to try and compress all of this so I can tell her in a clear way without being too hurtful I know it will hurt regardless, but I want to try and minimise it for her.

Thanks

seamus

I think the content of your post would be very sensitive. You're not saying there's anything wrong with her, just that you don't really seem to have all that much in common. This happens, it's not something negative about either person.
There's no need to compress what you've said above - there's only about 30 seconds of speaking there

There's no easy way to break up with someone - she's unlikely to thank you for it, but the better you are about it, the less it will hurt her in the long run.

Fair dues for recognising the need to stop it before it gets too physical. Even if she's devastated now, she will very much thank you and respect you for this when she's older.

spinandscribble

I think you clearly have her best interests and your own at heart. Explaining you feel you don't have enough common interests and that to let it get any further between the two of you would be a injustice to her considering your thoughts. Prepare for her to ask you "what don't we have in common", but be tactful and don't say anything like "intellectually speaking ect".

whatsamsn

Theres no easy way to break up with someone. Every breakup has even a small bit of hurt, no matter how senstive it can be handled (as it is rejection) But just say everything you said above to her. You are just not compatible. No one is to blame


however!
5 months you are with her and you havent had sex? .. that alone is actually enough to break up with someone.

LegacyUser

whatsamsn wrote: »

Theres no easy way to break up with someone. Every breakup has even a small bit of hurt, no matter how senstive it can be handled (as it is rejection) But just say everything you said above to her. You are just not compatible. No one is to blame


however!
5 months you are with her and you havent had sex? .. that alone is actually enough to break up with someone.

I wrote the OP, and I've done the deed. She was feeling the same way, only she didn't know how to express it, so it wasn't overly difficult. Yes, there was a bit of hurt, but we parted amicably. As for the sex thing, you can have a physical relationship without sex, and I'm glad we didn't as that has overly complicated relationships I've had in the past. Perhaps that's residual Catholic thinking but so what.

IrishEyes19

well done, OP, just wanted to comment how decent your post was, no blame game at all, just outlining what you feel is wrong in the relationship. Best of luck with the future!!

Queen-Mise

OP you are one nice fella. It does not need to be an elaborate explanation - just explain that the relationship is not working out for you. It is best it is done sooner rather than later, if you feel that way.

Vicxas

Mate if im being honest, i think thats real classy to awknowledge that its going nowhere before its serious, yet you still take her feelings into consideration. fair play.

Miss Fluff

Agreed, nicely handled OP. You sound like a lovely chap so I'm sure you'll have no problem meeting someone lovely