Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Wednesday Funnies

Options
  • 02-03-2011 4:49pm
    #1
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users Posts: 8,295 ✭✭✭


    There were Three prostitutes. A mother..A daughter..and a grandmother.

    One night the daughter came home looking very discouraged.

    "How did you get on tonight dear"?.. asked her mother.

    "Not too well..I only got two pounds for a blow job".

    "WOW"... said the mother... In my day I gave a blow job for fifty pence!".

    "GOOD GOD!"... said the grandmother... In my day we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs!".

    ____________________________


    Sandy Broon of Glasgow goes to the little lady of the house exclaiming...

    "Maggie... could you be sewing on a wee button that’s come off of ma fly... I canny button ma troosers".

    "Och Sandy... I've got ma hands in the sink... go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helping you with it".

    About 5 minutes later there's a terrible crash.. then a bang.. .. a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs.

    Walking back in the door with a black eye and a bloody nose comes Sandy.

    The little lady looks at him and says... "My god... what in the hells name happened to you?... Did you ask Mrs. MacDonald like I told you?".

    "Aye"... says Sandy.. "I asked her to sew on the wee button an she did... everything was going fine but when she bent down to bite off the wee thread...

    Mr. MacDonald walked in...

    ____________________________

    Wee Sandy approached The Horse Shoe bar.

    On the step outside he was accosted by a nun... Sister Mary... who said...

    "Surely a fine man like yourself is not going into this den of iniquity?

    Surely you're not going to waste your hard-earned cash on the devil's brew.

    Why don't you go home and feed and clothe your wife and children?".

    "Hang on.. Sister"..spluttered Sandy. "How can you condemn alcohol out of hand?... Surely it's wrong to form such a rash judgement when you've never tasted the stuff?".

    "Very well"... said Sister Mary.

    I'll taste it just to prove my point.

    Obviously I can't go into the pub... so why don't you bring me some gin.

    Oh... and just to camouflage my intent... maybe you should bring it in a cup not a glass!".

    "OK"...said sandy and into the bar he breezed.

    "I'll have a large gin"... he said to the barman. "And can you put it in a cup?".

    "My God"... said the barman...

    "that nun's not outside again is she?".

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



Advertisement