What do single people do?

LegacyUser

I'm single, and most of my friends are in relationships. I'd really like to go out this weekend but they're all busy with their partners.

I find this really annoying (for me, I do understand that they want to spend time with their partners!) and need advice on what people in this situation do for weekend socialising / entertainment.

I'm female, and though I'd like to go and have a drink I can't go into a pub alone. And there's very few things I can see that I can do alone...

Go to the movies, go to sports, take an evening course, bring a book to a nice cafe, there are countless things you could do and have fun with

Judes

:)I'm single and find that I'm so busy during the week socialising that by the weekend I want to crash and chill. I prefer going out on Friday to Saturday - I don't like going out on Sat as "everyone" is out then. Sat is def dinner party nights, either at mine or with friends. I hang out with lots of married people and have a great time. Maybe you need to invite your friends and their partners to your place for drinks/meal - show you are the hostess with the mostess and the invitations will pour in. Remember your coupled friends have friends who could be single. There are so many options out there for single people - get out there and enjoy yourself. Believe me you may envy some of your coupled friends but a lof of mine envy my freedom. Some times couples just get caught up in the first flush of love when they want to spend as much time with their partner as possible - so include them in your life as a couple. J

ash23

I take over the organising. I have a fair few friends and we move in different circles so what I do is arrange a night out a couple of weeks in advance. Give everyone plenty of notice etc and then alternate between my groups of friends so I've something on nearly every weekend.

For eg, last weekend was a weekend away with my family (sisters etc), this weekend is a "have friends over" weekend, gonna be fairly quiet and moreso doing things with the kids (I'm a single parent), then next weekend I've arranged a night out with work friends and the weekend after I've arranged a night out with my girlfriends.

Planning and organising in advance will mean you keep your weekends quite busy. Sometimes it's a pain being the one who always makes the suggestions and gets landed with "rounding up the troops" so to speak but it does tend to be worth it.

solovely

I hear ya, it's hard and it gets harder as you get older (there's a good article in this month's Stellar that I read yesterday which totally sums up how you're feeling).

I "became" single 2 years ago and at the start found it really hard to get my social life on track as all my friends were coupled up, or the single ones had their own single circle that I wasn't part of.

Definitely being the organiser helps, and it's what I do to enable me to see my coupled up friends, but it can be hard and you end up sometimes feeling more lonely and defeated when you get constant rebukes because "himself" has something on so she can't come alone?! Or you feel like you are the only one organising and never get invited back to anything cos they couldn't be bothered, but it's what has to be done, to make sure you get out and about. And you will feel better for it, and as Judes pointed out, some of them will have single friends too.

But the best thing I've found is making a new circle of single friends. I know it's not as easy as it sounds, and it takes work, but since I made the effort (and new friends obviously made the effort too), I can tell you I haven't had a free Friday or Saturday night. Don't be afraid to sound silly, text or facebook other single friends, colleagues, old school friends, etc. and say you're thinking of organising a single ladies night out. Have a single's dinner party, it is hard work, but rewarding. We now have singles cinema night, hiking days, nights out, dinner parties, etc....although sometimes I worry that now we have defined ourselves so much by our single status that we'll find it hard to get out of it (or let anyone else out of it) should circumstances change! Still, it definitely beats the Late Late show Friday night after Friday night! Our first few nights out were typically single stuff like speed dating and that sort of thing, but now we're best of buddies for everyday stuff.

There's also a website getout.ie which organises events for singles.

Lux23

If I want to go out on a Friday normally I put the feelers out on Thursday to see if anyone wants to do anything, its rare that I don't find someone who wants to do something. Or they will be doing something already and will ask me along. Very few of my friends actually just go out on their own with their partners, normally its in a group of people so its just never an issue for me. If I know that noone is going out on a weekend then I may organise a date or something but thats normally a last resort. No wonder I am single!!

But I don't wait to be asked to do things if I want to go out.

JimmyCrackCorn

Whattodosingle wrote: »

I'm single, and most of my friends are in relationships. I'd really like to go out this weekend but they're all busy with their partners.

I find this really annoying (for me, I do understand that they want to spend time with their partners!) and need advice on what people in this situation do for weekend socialising / entertainment.

I'm female, and though I'd like to go and have a drink I can't go into a pub alone. And there's very few things I can see that I can do alone...

The standard boards answer of get involved in a social group, club or sociaty.

I'm not single but for socialising i do a mix of everything. Poker, Motor-sport/car clubs/ pub for a pint/ Kilteernan for skiing/ hill walking/ surfing / cinema/ dinners out and in/ fishing.

I also have a long list of stuff i want to try. If they go well i join a club where applicable.

Another options if you have time on your hands is volunteering with scouts or charity.

Now the weather is much better there is loads to do besides the pub. Finding people to do it with is what clubs are all about.


Best of luck.

GV_NRG

all the awnsers from the previous posters are good but alot of them only work for older people. im nearly 18 and newly single and there is nothing to do.. im kind of lucky in a way though because i live in a small enough place so all of the people in my year tend to go to the same place when we are going out. but there is definetly alot less for the younger generation to do, especially if they live in the country and too far away from the city to avail of the services in there.

solovely

im nearly 18 and newly single and there is nothing to do.. im kind of lucky in a way though because i live in a small enough place so all of the people in my year tend to go to the same place when we are going out. but there is definetly alot less for the younger generation to do, especially if they live in the country and too far away from the city to avail of the services in there.

The difference is, when you are 18 and even up to your mid/ late 20s, people hang around together in groups, regardless of whether they are single or in a group. Groups go to the pub together, on holidays together, do activities together. As you hit 30, it changes very much towards and them and us type thing (not purposely, it's just the way life goes).

At 18, you're just getting started, so much to do. Wait til you hit college. I wish I'd been more active at your age. Take part in activities, sports, volunteering, club....you'll have a ball, you have the world at your feet.

Justask

Whattodosingle wrote: »

I'm single, and most of my friends are in relationships. I'd really like to go out this weekend but they're all busy with their partners.

I find this really annoying (for me, I do understand that they want to spend time with their partners!) and need advice on what people in this situation do for weekend socialising / entertainment.

I'm female, and though I'd like to go and have a drink I can't go into a pub alone. And there's very few things I can see that I can do alone...

Meetup.com is a great place to meet new friends Sure give it a go

Overheal

Book stores. The nice ones with the cafes. Great stuff. I remember they put one up in Ennis only a couple years ago by the river and its a great spot to relax and get high on coffee while you read Michael Moore's latest rambling.

stuckin

Overheal wrote: »

Book stores. The nice ones with the cafes. Great stuff. I remember they put one up in Ennis only a couple years ago by the river and its a great spot to relax and get high on coffee while you read Michael Moore's latest rambling.

Hughes and Hughes I think you're talking about there, but I wouldn't describe Moore's latest as rambling, nor would I read it.

I've met a few girls doing online dating, works for some people, doesn't really agree with me. I've met a few girls by going around town with my camera, only Sunday afternoon I met a girl while in Stephens Green, photographers seems to be able to spark conversation, if nothing else than about their camera's.

Groom!

OP I don't think you are going to meet someone in a bookshop.Sorry

Still, you never know!

Last weekend I was dragged along by a friend to a social night out (def not called a "singles" night!)

The criteria were that you had to be single, had to bring a single male that you were not interested in, and it was def for the 40 somethings!

There were 32 people there, we met in Gleesons pub in Booterstown and although I did not stay till the end, they went clubbing to Pink till 4am

All it needed was one person with a bit of initiative who knew a few single people to organise it.

I think it was a great idea, everyone had a great time, no pressure whatsoever, and if nothing else, meeting new people was great.

Why don't you try and organise a night like this?

Overheal

Groom! wrote: »

OP I don't think you are going to meet someone in a bookshop.Sorry

Still, you never know!

Perhaps not but it's more to do with being in public, not sequestering yourself away in private. That leads to depression. Depression leads to bad things.

As a single person I dont spend my life trying to be un-single, and only partaking in activities which are sure to get me laid. I spend my time in ways that I enjoy. Hence getting a coffee buzz in an uptown bookshop/cafe while reading something thats at least engaging is my idea of a good time.

Sanjuro

Hey OP. I've a similar situation to yours. A few of my friends are either coupled up and having babies, emigrating or otherwise indisposed at the weekend. So I'm trying to get out as much as I can. This may be a daunting suggestion, but there is a boards.ie meet-up this weekend. There seems to be quite a few people going, and by all accounts, it sounds like a pretty friendly thing to go to. Myself, I'm going for the first time. And I'm going on my own. Sure, it's nerve-racking, but taking the plunge is the only way to get to know more people! Mull it over. It could be a new step for you!

LegacyUser

Sanjuro wrote: »

Hey OP. I've a similar situation to yours. A few of my friends are either coupled up and having babies, emigrating or otherwise indisposed at the weekend. So I'm trying to get out as much as I can. This may be a daunting suggestion, but there is a boards.ie meet-up this weekend. There seems to be quite a few people going, and by all accounts, it sounds like a pretty friendly thing to go to. Myself, I'm going for the first time. And I'm going on my own. Sure, it's nerve-racking, but taking the plunge is the only way to get to know more people! Mull it over. It could be a new step for you!

What kind of a meet up is it? And where?!

That does sound incredibly daunting. Think I'm basically in the same boat as you, have so many friends who've gone travelling/emigrated and the ones that are left are literally all in long term relationships. I'm only mid 20s so I'm still in a loving going out vibe but it's so hard to get people together regularly!

I'm also very shy, so I don't know how these meet ups would go for me. I think theyre a great idea in theory, and I suppose they're full of like minded people but when I picture myself there I'd imagine I'd be feeling really self conscious and out of place or something. I always assume everyone there will have met before or something!!

Fluffsticle

Hi Op...

You need to meet more single People!!!

Very often being single is a great way to make new friends, friends that you have a lot in common with , instead of the "couple" friends you may have had while in relationships for convenience sake! That maybe even weren't friends!

I'd suggest thinking about your hobbies outside of the pub/drinking scene. Or at least something you could do on your own. And having a look in your local paper to see if groups exist around this. Sometimes things we loved as a kid we still love, but gave up because we "grew out of it"!

Lots of People join classes/interest groups. And very often half the People there are keeping to themselves, and don't know anyone there. Be confident and focus on your good qualities, look approachable if possible, and at some stage someone will talk to you if you can't say anything to them.

It could be anything.. volunteering, photography, or maybe if you're sporty the Gym and the swimming pool.

Being out and about doing loads is a great way to meet people. If you can't swim, then take lessons! All plusses! You never know!!

Being a shy person can be appealing to People. Nobody likes a loud overpowering person.. So you are plus 1 already

I'm not saying you have to be really outgoing to do these things... Lots of People who are doing things and are involved in groups etc, are actually really nice People, some of them will be there for the same reasons as you, and want a little more from life, I think! But if you're not in the situation you can't meet People!!

Once you have found a single buddy or 2(fingers crossed), then you can be back into the pub/club scene... and you'll have hopefully made great friends.

Sounds easy, it's not I know...

But this is what works for me, and I used to be SHY!!!

Sanjuro

Whattodosingle wrote: »

What kind of a meet up is it? And where?!

That does sound incredibly daunting. Think I'm basically in the same boat as you, have so many friends who've gone travelling/emigrated and the ones that are left are literally all in long term relationships. I'm only mid 20s so I'm still in a loving going out vibe but it's so hard to get people together regularly!

I'm also very shy, so I don't know how these meet ups would go for me. I think theyre a great idea in theory, and I suppose they're full of like minded people but when I picture myself there I'd imagine I'd be feeling really self conscious and out of place or something. I always assume everyone there will have met before or something!!

Hey, the thread about the meet (and a lot of messing about!) is here.

There will definitely be people there who know each other. And there definitely will be people there who know nobody. Hell, I'm one of them. But you only don't know people for the first few minutes!

It's not easy when your friends are all off living their different lives and you feel because you're single that you're left out. But there's only one way out of the situation, and that's to get to know more people. And it's tough. I'd consider myself somewhat shy. I know when I'm talking to strangers, in my head I'm going 'OH MY CHRIST! WHAT AM I DOING TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO MUST THINK I'M SO DULL!' But in all honesty, it always turns out to be a pleasant experience. And the more you do it, the easier it gets. Shyness can be controlled to the point where it's only a tiny issue.