What to do about a tight vagina..

I'm seeing a girl now for the last few weeks and last night was the first time we were going to have sex.. She's Filipino, 25 years old, has a 24" inch waist, weighs 40 kilos and is a virgin (could feel the hymen). She's really tiny.

But I just don't think I'm going to be able to have sex with her without her being in agony.. Last night with my finger, it took 2/3 minutes to find the hole because it was the size of a needle prick. Then another 20 minutes to get one finger in and another 10 minutes to get a second finger in. Felt like blood couldn't even get to my finger tips it was so tight. I was making sure everything was wet and lubed the whole time but it hurt her quite a bit.

So basically, I couldn't do it to her... I made her orgasm with oral sex and she wanted me to try have sex with her afterwards. I couldn't hurt her that badly on our first night and it was obvious how afraid she was.. She wants me to do it over the next couple of nights but I don't know if I could handle her crying because of it.


What can I do?

Count Duckula

She may have a condition called vaginismus, where the vagina tenses subconsciously when something is inserted, or is about to be inserted. I would suggest she goes to her doctor and discusses it - it's a common condition, just not a well-known one.

She's super shy when it comes to that sort of thing... Plus she's from a poor family. Only one working to provide for her entire family. Crazy lives out here. She wouldn't have the money for a doctor. I bought lube there a while ago, will have to give it a go and hope that over a few days, it shows some sign of loosening.

You could be right with vaginismus.. She was clenching my fingers so tight. Like squeeze, release, squeeze, release. It's really hard to deal with, I just want to have good sex where we're both happy.

petethebrick

Pay for her to go to the doctor??

Oryx

Deleted User wrote: »

...it was obvious how afraid she was...

I think thats the most important thing here. She wont get past this while she is afraid. Fear of being hurt might be making her tense and thus, she gets hurt.

Give her time. Find other ways to have fun. Keep using your fingers to get her used to the sensation. The worst thing you could do is allow her to feel that she 'should' or 'must' have penetration. She needs to learn to relax first, and enjoy whats happening, so she isnt tense.

And I also think encouraging her to see a doctor might help, but I can understand her reluctance. Its hard to talk about your sex life to a relative stranger, even one you can trust, like a doctor. Before either of you can decide this is vaginismus, you really need to get a professional to say.

By the way, the tightness can be an unconscious thing. She may not even realise how tight she is making herself.

Morgase

My two cents, given that it sounds a lot like vaginismus:

I'd second the advice given that she should see a professional. Sometimes it is easier to talk about these things and be honest with a stranger than it is with a loved one.

I'd also recommend that she see a professional who has experience in this area, like the Well Woman clinics.

You might need to go easy on this business of getting fingers inside her. If she's very nervous, more than one finger will probably not feel nice at all. Try just one and no more for the next few times.

So relieved.... With over an hour of foreplay and preperation, tonnes of lube, and going really really slow, we could do it. It was still sore for her but she had just lost her virginity. She was happy enough to try it again a few hours later and it was already a bit easier for her.

Relief.

Billy7878

Deleted User wrote: »

So relieved.... With over an hour of foreplay and preperation, tonnes of lube, and going really really slow, we could do it. It was still sore for her but she had just lost her virginity. She was happy enough to try it again a few hours later and it was already a bit easier for her.

Relief.

The girl is so innocent that she had never heard of lube before or knew what a hymen was.... So strange for a gorgeous 25yr old Filipino.

Anyways, thanks for the advice guys.