She wants to skype with me - I'm nervous..

LegacyUser

So I'm 21, with little experience in dating.

I've been talking with this girl on a dating site, who happens to live in the US, since mid last month and we have never had one day go by without talking. We've literally been messaging each other everyday without fail and I've really grown to like her a lot.

Now onto the problem.. Just today she mentioned that she'd love to talk on skype with me and asked if I had a web cam. I do have one, but lied and said I didn't but would get one soon..
The reason I lied is this girl intimidates me given that she is really physically attractive. As for myself... well I honsetly don't know where I stand or how to rate myself physically. She has obviously seen photos of me in my profile. I have a total of three up, two of which are close ups of my face. However I have a habit of carefully posing when I take pics of myself to make myself appear the best I can and I'm worried I do not look as good in person as I'm represented in my pics..
So I have this huge fear of her seeing me and then never hearing from her again. I would be crushed and miserable.. She even states in her profile that she is quite picky with guys and seems to have quite high standards thus increasing the anxiety level for me..

What do I do!?? I'm in such a vulnerable situation..

cantdecide

Onthefence wrote: »

...She has obviously seen photos of me in my profile...I'm worried I do not look as good in person as I'm represented in my pics...I have this huge fear of her seeing me and then never hearing from her again...

Lucky you, OP. The gorgeous girl with the high standards chats with you every day and wants to skype you. This is seriously positive. Be happy.

She likes you for you now which is more than most of us blokes get a lot of the time. You must stop thinking these things through. Just say yes. Whatever will be, will be.

mood

I don't get why you would be in contact with a girl in the States! Unless you both have plenty of money for flying over and back or one of you would move to the US/Ireland is has no future. Why bother getting into this situation!

cantdecide

mood wrote: »

I don't get why you would be in contact with a girl in the States! Unless you both have plenty of money for flying over and back or one of you would move to the US/Ireland is has no future. Why bother getting into this situation!

Oh humbug! That's a question for another day.

LegacyUser

mood wrote: »

I don't get why you would be in contact with a girl in the States

Can't answer that. I honestly don't know why I contacted her initially, but I did and now I'm finding myself very attracted to her.

By the way it was actually mid January since we first started talking, not Feb, so we have been in contact for quite a while indeed.

I guess what makes me so worried is there's no way I can know for sure what attracts her to me. It may well be that it's only my photos.. or it may not.. I don't know and that's what makes the prospect terrifying. I don't know how I'd cope if she were to cut contact straight after seeing me on cam. It would crush me and I already have low self esteem as it is.

mood

OP it sounds like a bad idea all round. Are you seriously willing to do a long (very, very long) distance relationship if the skype, phone calls etc goes well? Would you pack your bags and move to the US in the future?

If no is the answer to the above questions you are setting yourself for heart ache.

bubbaloo

Op - give it a go.
She has seen 3 photos of you and still asks you to Skype.
As long as your profile photos are actually you!!!

Anyone who is going on about a long distance relationship and moving to the States is jumping way ahead of the game here. Have a few online meetings/chats etc and see how things go. If and when the time comes for making long term decisions you will know how you feel.
Good luck!

LegacyUser

bubbaloo, thanks for the encouragement. I think I will give it a go.

I have already messaged her saying that I now have a cam and that I'm all set. I suggested we talk tomorrow night, but now as my anxiety grows I wish I had just suggested tonight instead.. as I am just desperate to get it over with tbh..

STIG83

Good luck OP, let us know how it goes

christmas2010

Bear in mind she might be just as nervous as you and maybe her photos have had a bit of work,
Give it a go and best of luck.

bubbaloo

Best of luck to you OP. Christmas makes a good point above - She will be nervous too. Fingers crossed for you.

sbsquarepants

Don't mean to put a dampner on things for you or anything but remember that skype is very easily recorded, so don't do anything you wouldn't be happy enough for the world to see, considering you barely know this girl!

cafecolour

Onthefence wrote: »

However I have a habit of carefully posing when I take pics of myself to make myself appear the best I can and I'm worried I do not look as good in person as I'm represented in my pics..

Everyone (quite possibly literally everyone) on the internet does the same thing. Don't worry about it. Her pictures are her best representation of her as well.

bubbaloo

Well OP - how did it go??

Count Duckula

mood wrote: »

I don't get why you would be in contact with a girl in the States! Unless you both have plenty of money for flying over and back or one of you would move to the US/Ireland is has no future. Why bother getting into this situation!

Can I just say that - whilst the UK and Ireland are not quite on the same scale in terms of distance - I feel I should stick up for long-distance relationships. I met my current girlfriend via the internet. She is Irish and lives in Ireland; I am English and live in England. We talk daily via webcam, spend the rest of our days emailing and texting, and once every few weeks one of us flies over to see the other.

It costs money, yes, and we don't get to see each other as much as I'd want in an ideal world, but I can honestly say I've never been happier. You can't legislate for love, or even just having fun in a relationship, and you can't just refuse to give it a try with certain people owing to geography. I love my girlfriend, she loves me, and whilst the relationship is awkward in terms of seeing each other I wouldn't change it for the world.

Not to mention, you'll be surprised what can happen when you fall in love. Don't be so sure neither of them will want to move if it gets serious. If you'd asked me a year ago whether I'd move to Ireland, I'd have given a vehement "**** no!". Nothing against the country, but why would I want to move to one so similar to my own when I was already settled in England? Now, however, I'm looking for work on your fair isle and as soon as I can manage it I'll be driving over with all my belongings and setting up in the land of the tricolour.

Love can do funny things, and you can't go lessening your chances because you think it might be a bit awkward. The benefits of soul-lifting happiness far away the drawbacks.

LegacyUser

bubbaloo wrote: »

Well OP - how did it go??

Haven't skyped yet. She's busy over the weekend, so we said we'd do it sometime next week..

I really just want to get the initial stages over with.. now I got more waiting and wondering to do..

bubbaloo

Well best of luck OP, for whenever it does happen - the sooner the better i'm sure.
Don't forget to update us!!

STIG83

Keep us updated OP

Some_Person

Go for it OP, full support!