What should I do?

LegacyUser

So I told my best friend that I had feelings for him half year ago. He was fine with it. We hung out, but we didn't do as much as we used to. He started to have other friends. So, I wasn't the only one anymore. But he spent the majority of time with me. Then, this year, school started. We were fine until recently, we had drifted apart. He doesn't answer all of my text messages anymore. He only answers the important questions that I asked him. We don't talk on the phone anymore. But for some reasons, I get calls from him. Whenever I answer, no one responds. I heard background noises and then he hung up. I assumed that he sat on the phone and somehow called me accidentally. But this kind of thing has never happened before, like calling me accidentally.
So, I said I liked him. But I know I do not want to be with him forever. I want a relationship with him, because I really want to know how it feels to be with my best friend as more than a friend. But it has been really hard for him to get over him even after he rejected me. So, I don't now if it is more than curiosity or not. But anyway, I really just want us to be good friends again. And I know with those feelings, I will never be able to do that.
One day, one of my female friends took my phone. She texted him and said "I miss you" using my phone! I hurriedly sent him another message explaining what happened. He didn't say anything back. The next day, he didn't talk to me. Whenever I tried to talk to him, he replied but never looked at me in the eyes. I knew something was wrong. Then, after that his mood fluctuated. He would be nice to me at one moment, and would ignore be the next moment. I feel very distant from him now!
Since he's starting to drift apart from me, should I take that chance and slowly forget him? I will keep in touch through phone, but I will not see him as much. Then, when I'm ready to be friends again, I can look for him and we can be friends again. But will doing that cause both of us to drift further apart? I feel that it may not be easy to come back together once we separate for a period of time...

Barna77

Been there, done that.

My best advise would be to stay away from him, move on and try to forget him cause in the end it will hurt you no matter what happens.

I was in love with my best mate, I was blind for years. I used to get mad when he said he'd call me but never did. Drama queen I know! As you say, he'd only call me when he needed something from me.

Then I finally told him. He was a bit shocked but it was fine. Then we began to drift apart. We shared a house for a few months and there was some tension, for some reason he began to behave and treat me like an asrsehole. In the end it helped me to get over him.

Last year he began accusing me of having let him down. I still don't have a clue what he's on about. Now we don't talk that much, it's always me who makes the phone call.

He's going through a bad time, in personal matters, and I believe he just reaped what he sowed

Chuchoter

Sadly OP I think its kind of over between you two, whether it was down to what you said or some totally unrelated matter. Sometimes people just drift. Talk to him if he's around, but don't make any massive effort.

LegacyUser

crayolastereo wrote: »

Sadly OP I think its kind of over between you two, whether it was down to what you said or some totally unrelated matter. Sometimes people just drift. Talk to him if he's around, but don't make any massive effort.

We were fine just a few weeks ago. At the beginning of this year, we went to see a movie together. We had lunch together. We went to some school events together. But recently, things started to change. People can't just drift like that right? Isn't there supposed to be a reason?
I don't want to date him anymore.. I just want our friendship back. I won't be able to be with him anyway. It doesn't really matter to me now. But if I lose this friendship, I will lose this friend forever.....

Chuchoter

Are you sure maybe that he's not just withdrawing in general from lots of people? Does he seem kind of down? If your'e in 6th year, it could be the stress of the mocks thats getting to him. If its been such a sudden thing, maybe you should just mention that you never seem to talk anymore.

LegacyUser

crayolastereo wrote: »

Are you sure maybe that he's not just withdrawing in general from lots of people? Does he seem kind of down? If your'e in 6th year, it could be the stress of the mocks thats getting to him. If its been such a sudden thing, maybe you should just mention that you never seem to talk anymore.

Well, we haven't talked like normal friends do for about a month. But we still hung out and went to places together, as if nothing has happened. When we did talk, it was ok. It's just that recently, he seemed to be... how do I say it? Usually he comes and looks for me whenever he doesn't see me. But now, he doesn't do that. It's hard to find him and have a good conversation with him. I feel there's some kind of tension going on between us. Of course, he doesn't answer many of my text messages and emails like he used to anymore. So, I don't know. I might have to find some private time to talk to him about it.

manna

Unfortunately, it does happen that people drift apart like that. Generally it's because other aspects of life get in the way, like family, or school work.

I suggest asking him if things are ok in general. If he really wants to talk about it, that's your opening. If not, it sounds to me like there's not a lot else you can do.

I went through something similar, except I didn't tell the person explicitly how I felt (though I tend not to be subtle about these things), so I know where your coming from. It sucks, but remember, these things get better in time.