Cant get a girl out of my head

LegacyUser

Sorry for the long post when I started typing I just couldnt stop.

Long story short I liked a girl and she liked me back but I never did anything so nothing came of it. I dont even know this girl well at all so my attraction is just based on her looks but yet I cant get her out of my mind after 3 years (yes I know).

We where both in the same college but from other sides of the country. I added her on FB (a good 18+ months ago) with the intention of talking to her but I chickened out but not long after that I found out she started seeing someone while she was away on Erasmus. I was gutted and I was also feeling pretty angry at myself for being gutted even though I didnt even try and talk to her and the fact I dont even know her all that well. I feel pretty bad about this but I was pretty much stalking this girl online through her FB. Thankfully I got of this and stopped doing it. When she came back I seen her a few times around campus but never talked to her.

I was pissed at myself for letting it going this way so I just told myself to forget about it but I didnt have the nerve to delete her on FB so I just hide her status updates. I thought finishing college would be the end of it. I decided not to do a masters and look for a work instead but because of this I now had a lot of time to think and I started thinking about her again. I found out she is doing a masters in a college which I had also been accepted to so I kinda wished I had done that masters even though I still wouldnt want to do the actual course.

This is sad I know but when I do status updates I am hoping she is reading them. Recently I was down in her college (I know a few people down there) and I was hoping that I might see her out like how pathetic is that.

I have been very tempted just to send her a message on FB but I dont see the point as
1. She probable doesnt even remember me and if she does its probably just as that shy guy who added her on FB but never talked to her.
2. She is in college the other side of the county and I am moving further way due to finally getting a job.
3. I dont know this girl other then talking to her a few times on nights out and checking out her FB.

This girl has seriously has gotten more stunning since I first met her so she is a bit out of my league. I have kissed other girls since and all but I still cant get this girl out of my head.

All this said I feel pretty bad for letting myself getting hung up on a girl I barely know.

Advice?

LegacyUser

Hi mate, I know what you are going through (been going through it myself the last few months actually) I have been stalking this girls pictures of facebook, trying my best to get her to notice me, i think about her non-stop and when she started seeing someone I was in the height of it.. I have spoken to her a few times but like you i don't know if she even remembers me.. I still even write things on facebook hoping she will reply

Advice: you say you got a new job? This new job might keep you busy? I find when I am really, really busy it help me take my mind of her, If I were you i'd delete her from your facebook it's hard I know but it has to be done otherwise you will just keep looking at her page.

It's nice to know i'm not the only one going through this though

John 187

Hey been there.

Is she single at the min? If so ask her out. If she says no it will hurt but it will get her out of your mind. It work for me and if she says yes well you'll feel pretty good to say the least.

If she says no it will sting but you'll get over it. Also meeting someone else and having a proper relationship with them will help you get over her.

And your not pathetic.

LegacyUser

samesituationhere..... wrote: »

Advice: you say you got a new job? This new job might keep you busy? I find when I am really, really busy it help me take my mind of her, If I were you i'd delete her from your facebook it's hard I know but it has to be done otherwise you will just keep looking at her page.

It's nice to know i'm not the only one going through this though

Yeah, hopefully it will take my mind off it. Last year I was really busy due to my course being a bit harder then the normal course hence the way I have gotten employment in the current climate. Because of this I didnt think about her all that much I even had my eye on someone else but any time I saw her I would just get a horrible feeling in my stomach.

John 187 wrote: »

Hey been there.

Is she single at the min? If so ask her out. If she says no it will hurt but it will get her out of your mind.

AFAIK yeah she is, but I do know that she is really busy with college like the way I was last year. I have been thinking of doing it but I am unsure what to actually say and I was thinking of just waiting till after she has finished her exams. By the stage I will have finished the training period of my job.

0verblood

When think of a girl day in day out like that, there's only one cure.

Imagine her sitting on the toilet, farting a huge black shyte out, because even pretty girls make dirty shytes.

I'm serious.

It's a temporary solution but it works. It reminds you that she's just a human and she doesn't live in heaven.

LegacyUser

0verblood wrote: »

When think of a girl day in day out like that, there's only one cure.

Imagine her sitting on the toilet, farting a huge black shyte out, because even pretty girls make dirty shytes.

I'm serious.

It's a temporary solution but it works. It reminds you that she's just a human and she doesn't live in heaven.

Ha funny enough I have done this before but still doesnt get rid of it completely.

LegacyUser

Bro, what you describe doesn't sound like the healthiest thing in the world.

Obsessing over one girl like that, it's not productive, and it won't achieve anything.

What you describe, how you think about her non-stop, hoping she'll reply to FB messages etc - i assure, her mind is elsewhere.
Whatever you have in mind, whatever interest you believe she has in you, I assure you, it's not the case.
Her mind is somewhere else entirely.

If a girl is interested, they simply act on it. That's how it is. That's the nature of it.

She hasn't, so she's not.


I know this sounds like I'm laying it on a bit, but speaking from experience, what your doing now, it's not healthy, and you need to stop.

Go work on your game, go take up a sport, focus on improving yourself, and get with another girl.

You've obviously built her up in your mind, and again, I know from experience, that's a real difficult thing to deconstruct, but I assure you, whatever the reason is that you believe her to be "so stunning" etc, there's umpteen other girls out there just as good looking, attractive etc.

Your gonna awake to this fact sooner or later, but the longer it goes on, the more difficult it gets - no self righteousness here, but I KNOW, cause most unfortunately, I've been there, big time.

LegacyUser

Krazy Bee wrote: »

Bro, what you describe doesn't sound like the healthiest thing in the world.

Obsessing over one girl like that, it's not productive, and it won't achieve anything.

What you describe, how you think about her non-stop, hoping she'll reply to FB messages etc - i assure, her mind is elsewhere.
Whatever you have in mind, whatever interest you believe she has in you, I assure you, it's not the case.
Her mind is somewhere else entirely.

If a girl is interested, they simply act on it. That's how it is. That's the nature of it.

She hasn't, so she's not.


I know this sounds like I'm laying it on a bit, but speaking from experience, what your doing now, it's not healthy, and you need to stop.

Go work on your game, go take up a sport, focus on improving yourself, and get with another girl.

You've obviously built her up in your mind, and again, I know from experience, that's a real difficult thing to deconstruct, but I assure you, whatever the reason is that you believe her to be "so stunning" etc, there's umpteen other girls out there just as good looking, attractive etc.

Your gonna awake to this fact sooner or later, but the longer it goes on, the more difficult it gets - no self righteousness here, but I KNOW, cause most unfortunately, I've been there, big time.

If I could I would thank that post.

Yeah I know its very unhealthy and its why I posted here really to see peoples view on it and get their advice on it. I have come off it a good bit now TBH like at the start I would check out her page at least once a day or so but now I'd say ive been on it less then 2 or 3 times in the last 4 months.

But I still do stupid things like yesterday I got a second job offer and I decided that I wouldnt tell anyone (bar a few people) as I thought it would be bad form as many people are out of work. But once I see her online today I decide to post it up but after a very quick comment from one of my friends putting me straight I removed it and now I feel really bad for posting it even though it was only up for about 2 minutes.