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Not where I want to be

  • 24-02-2011 3:12am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Well here goes...

    I'm 22, and I have had no contact with the opposite sex (in that sense) ever, barring taking a female friend to my debs 5-6 years ago (the only time I've "asked someone out", held a girl's hand or danced with a girl - and it was all entirely platonic). I've never even tried to chat a girl up (tbh, the whole picking up a girl in a nightclub doesn't appeal to me all that much).

    Thing is, I make friends reasonably easily, and have no problems holding conversations with them. In fact I'm a bit of a comedian, and have been told I'm a very enjoyable person to be around. But I'm under no illusions that I'm introverted - I enjoy spending time by myself, and I don't mind if my only social contact between friday evening and monday morning is a facebook comment. I'm also uneasy with eye contact with people who aren't my friends, but I am working on that, and it has improved!

    I've tried to "reinvent myself" a few times. My course involved a year in Italy, during which I became more outgoing, but nothing about me has changed drastically.

    When it comes to the women front, I believe that if I could get a conversation going (how do these even start? and girls, do you just see guys who talk to you as imbeciles looking for one thing only?) I'd be fine but for "sealing the deal". I'd also be concious of coming across as a rookie...

    I dunno, boards.ie, have ye any advice?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey man, listen you've got all the odds stacked in your favour. You've got friends and are funny, that's HUGE. You should try to get out more and make new friends. Talk to loads of people in general and every girl you can, even if you don't fancy her. Practice like! Be smiley and happy, and have fun, it will draw people to you.

    When you see a lady you like just act super confident, make her laugh and pay her lots of attention. Be touchy-feely from the start, let her know exactly where your intentions lie. Be super confident - fake it till you make it! For me as a woman confidence and humour are the most attractive things in a man. You need to work on the eye contact. Talk to women at the bar or in the smoking area, just approach with a mate and say something. I don't think men are creeps if they approach in the right way and are genuinely interested in me - I love it!

    If you get rebuffed, make yourself believe that you don't care and try, try again! Good luck!


  • #3
    tolosenc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,889 ✭✭✭tolosenc


    You say you'd be conscious of coming across as inexperienced. Why? If a girl is that up herself that she'll point out reject you for something like that, she ain't worth your time!

    How does a conversation like that start? Well, "Hi" is a good place! ;) Seize any opportunity that presents itself - like, if you're in a smoking area and a girl that you like the look of drops her lighter, pick it up and say more than just "here you go" when handing it back.

    I lived in France and speak French, that never goes against me ;) Speaking Italian may well go in your favour!

    Chin up, mate!


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