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Your Best Crash and Burn Stories

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  • 23-02-2011 11:52pm
    #1
    PK2008
    Registered Users Posts: 2,219 ✭✭✭


    Inspired by a thread in TGC about men getting shot down when they try to approach a girl.

    Lets hear you're best/worst/funniest stories of when you plucked up the courage to chat someone up only to fail spectacularly;

    As is the rule I'll kick it off;

    Out with the lads one night I spotted this great looking girl at the bar that I was convinced was giving me the eye....

    The drinks and banter were in full flight and the lads started giving me grief about not having the balls to chat her up. I spied her mate had left her alone, so I knocked back my drink and went in for the kill.

    She was watching X Factor on the screen so I used that as my opener- Things were going great, she was laughing at my crap jokes and playing with her hair, I could see the lads over her shoulder mouthing 'Legend' to me and doing not so gentlemanly hand signals. Then all of a sudden she knocks over her glass. It shatters on the floor and cuts her big toe, which suddenly starts gushing blood all over the floor. She looks down at her foot, then looks back at me, then drops to the ground like a bag of sick (fainted).

    Im standing there in shock, her mate comes back and screams, everyone in the pub turns around to look at us. The barman stops everything and rushes to get towels, the whole pub is silent, a crowd gathers, an ambulance is called and bouncers have to clear the way as she's brought to the hospital.

    Went back to the lads and was met with a collective WTF!!!!! which then turned into 30 minutes of laughing followed by years of slagging. I still cant go chat up a girl without someone mentioning safety boots/blood transfusions (they're the cleaner ones)

    tl;dr cheer us all up with your most memorable stories of fail in the pursuit of romance and/or meaningless nookie?


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    #2
    Dangerous Man
    Registered Users Posts: 2,674 ✭✭✭Dangerous Man


    I was in Dame Lane No.4 (I know, I know) and having a good time. This girl sat down beside me and so we started chatting, flirting and what have you. She was a bit of a looker so I was pleased with myself. Things were going well.

    My friend was chatting up one of the staff to my left and had a tendency to gesticulate as though he were of Mediterranean descent. He knocked me in the face which sent my glasses to the floor. The girl I was talking to swooped down to pick them up and handed them to me. As I was cleaning them on my shirt she said, 'you're really good looking without those glasses.'

    I couldn't help it and replied 'so are you.' That was that.


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    #3
    landsleaving
    Registered Users Posts: 4,345 ✭✭✭landsleaving


    A few years ago, think I was about 19/20 at the time, I was talking to a girl in a club while somewhat inebriated...

    All was going well (according to my druink mind anyway) until she said 'You know I'm only 17, I used a fake ID to get in, they work wonders on bouncers.'

    To which I replied:

    'They work wonders on me too'

    At that exact moment one of my friends was walking by and he stopped, turned and just pointed and shouted 'AHHHHHH' in comical fashion. The girl was gone pretty sharpish.


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