Not Handling Break Up Well

LegacyUser

So, over Christmas, after almost two years together my boyfriend and I broke up. He dumped me claiming he didn't want to be in a relationship right now, with anyone. Told me he still wanted to be friends, that I was too good to him.

He went out that night, a few hours after dumping me, and met someone else. They are now "officially" an item. I have been entirely replaced by someone else in his life.

It started as a good relationship, but we both eventually messed up. Both of us were unfaithful when things weren't going well. To be honest, maybe the relationship should have probably ended long before it did. Still, after all of that he broke my heart when he finished it and got together with someone else.

The thing is, I'm not handling it too well. I spend hours each day trawling facebook, looking at mutual friends photos of him; looking at photos if us together, looking at photos of them together. I drive past his house looking in the windows. My heart breaks if I see his bedroom curtains closed or if I see his new flames car parked outside.

I've seen them out together, and it's made me so sad. How could someone who told me he loved me just move on so quickly? Just replace me in less than 24 hours?

My friends are telling me I'm lucky to be free of him and that I should move on. I know that I deserve someone who loves me, and I know that he doesn't love me. I wouldn't take him back if he asked. But I also know that my behaviour is not right. I'm hurting and it's affecting everything.

WhatWillBee

The break up itself may have only been a few hours old, but he might have been ready to break up for a long time before that.

Its just more proof of how little you mean to him and another good reason why you are better off without him. Your friends are right, laugh at the fool thats with him now and move on.

booboo88

Not Handling It wrote: »

So, over Christmas, after almost two years together my boyfriend and I broke up. He dumped me claiming he didn't want to be in a relationship right now, with anyone. Told me he still wanted to be friends, that I was too good to him.

He went out that night, a few hours after dumping me, and met someone else. They are now "officially" an item. I have been entirely replaced by someone else in his life.

It started as a good relationship, but we both eventually messed up. Both of us were unfaithful when things weren't going well. To be honest, maybe the relationship should have probably ended long before it did. Still, after all of that he broke my heart when he finished it and got together with someone else.

The thing is, I'm not handling it too well. I spend hours each day trawling facebook, looking at mutual friends photos of him; looking at photos if us together, looking at photos of them together. I drive past his house looking in the windows. My heart breaks if I see his bedroom curtains closed or if I see his new flames car parked outside.

I've seen them out together, and it's made me so sad. How could someone who told me he loved me just move on so quickly? Just replace me in less than 24 hours?

My friends are telling me I'm lucky to be free of him and that I should move on. I know that I deserve someone who loves me, and I know that he doesn't love me. I wouldn't take him back if he asked. But I also know that my behaviour is not right. I'm hurting and it's affecting everything.

I hear ya, sometimes your just better off without them...someone who didnt appreciate you for what you are (i found that out the hard way)
my problem is i trust too much, i trust people until they give me a reason not to

Wompa1

If someone actually loves you I don't think they could possibly go be with someone else that fast. Sorry to hear that OP...I'm in the same situation only with a girl

fungun

This is a men are from mars, women are from venus thing.

You have interpreted what he said as that he is now beginning to feel this way. You are thinking that if this was you you would try to deal with it in some way, so how could he move on so quickly.
What he actually means is that he has felt this way for a while but wasnt sure whether to break off because of it, but now feels he has to act. Probably because he has his eye on someone else.

Its sth I see as almost typical (sorry for generalisation here, it is a general statement)...women often break it off if they feel they arent that happy and might want to move on; often men stay whilst they arent that happy and then break up when they are fully ready to move on.
People wonder how they moved on so quickly but the reality is is that they have been mentally moving on for a while and the break up is the last step....whereas for some people (often women) its the first step.

IrishEyes19

+ 1 to above poster, I agree you cant generalise, but going on examples, I've seen a lot of lad friends end their relationships with someone only when there was somewhere and someone else to go to. As the above said and from what Ive guys often end the relationship earlier than they break up, meaning they have emotionally broken up with someone months or weeks before the actual dumping.

metrovelvet

fungun wrote: »

This is a men are from mars, women are from venus thing.

You have interpreted what he said as that he is now beginning to feel this way. You are thinking that if this was you you would try to deal with it in some way, so how could he move on so quickly.
What he actually means is that he has felt this way for a while but wasnt sure whether to break off because of it, but now feels he has to act. Probably because he has his eye on someone else.

Its sth I see as almost typical (sorry for generalisation here, it is a general statement)...women often break it off if they feel they arent that happy and might want to move on; often men stay whilst they arent that happy and then break up when they are fully ready to move on.
People wonder how they moved on so quickly but the reality is is that they have been mentally moving on for a while and the break up is the last step....whereas for some people (often women) its the first step.

I have seen men end their relationship before they even knew they wanted to.