Ex still has feelings for him??

LegacyUser

Hi everyone, try to keep a long story short, I'm with my boyfriend for 5 years now, he's divorced with children, our relationship is great, I'm also close to his two kids and get on fine with the ex whenever I see her, now this is baffling me, I recently joined twitter I don't go on it that often and honestly don't even know completely how it works, I am friends or a follower of the ex or she of me not sure who's following who, the last few days she's started to post things to various twitter friends about feeling very down about her divorce (finalised last june) And if she could turn back the clock maybe it would've been better to work things out?? I'm more than a little freaked out by this, I know divorce is tough no matter what the circumstances and there's bound to be an element of regret for what should've would've could've have been but to post it somewhere that I'm bound to see it is a little strange, actually the fact that she feels it at all is shock of the century to me. She instigated the separation (6 years ago) and in fact when I met my partner first we were on and off every bloody week coz he was still coming to terms with it. I haven't mentioned this to him, and am wondering whether to bother or not, took me a long time to trust he was over her in the first place and it's not a can of worms I really want opened again. i've Just deleted my account as rarely used it.. Anyway I'm just looking for a bit of guidance here really and maybe a few opinions thrown in for good measure.

metrovelvet

I think this is totally normal and well within the bounds of human nature. You want things, then you don't want them anymore and then you want what you had.

In many ways, it is a sign of growth and wisdom that she can see what she had and what she let go of and what she could have changed if she had the wisdom to do it then.

Regret about a broken up family is totally normal and honest.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys for responding, I'm very secure in my relationship "now" I wasn't for the first couple of years tho, it's taken a while. I know that it's a normal reaction to a divorce or separation, regrets although futile are sometimes part of life. I suppose it just caught me on the hop as she was the stronger one with regard to the separation/divorce, even though it wasnt working he would have stayed forever, fear of change, children etc." In fact I always admired her for facing facts and making the change, and she did in fact fall completely out of love wiht him, though still loves him as the father of her children etc.. I suppose I'm just uncomfortable being in a situation where I'm privy to her feelings on the subject. While it didn't bring back my insecurities, it certainly brought back memories of how crappy I sometimes felt at the start of our relationship... if that makes sense..

Elle Collins

I think you can expect her to have regrets. It'd be strange if she didn't. She shared a marriage and two children with the man, and the depth of feelings involved in that type of commitment don't go away easily. I think you can expect the same of him, to be honest. It's not that these feelings still exist that's the problem (because that's to be expected) - It's to what extent they still exist you need to be wondering about.

seenitall

Like other posters said, OP, this is not a big deal; regrets and what-if's around the time of the dissolution of marriage are quite natural, especially for the dumpee when they have the opportunity of seeing the dumped happy with someone else. And you certainly don't need to be worrying about the strength of your bf's ex's feelings here! The ex's feelings are really none of your concern, you know it and that's why you deleted your account. You don't need to be dealing with anyone else's headwrecks.

Now for the important part: the only thing that need concern you is how things are going with you and your boyfriend, how solid your relationship is and how he feels about you and his ex respectively. If he hasn't given you any indication of anything changing or unsettling from his part of the equation (i.e. if things are as usual between you two), then there is really nothing to worry about. As people often say on here, exes are exes for a reason.

Best wishes.

LegacyUser

I'm not sure I'd find this as okay as everyone else does.

I would be concerned that she posted this on twitter just to upset you, knowing you had recently joined twitter and beco0me her friend.

**** stirring?

Only you can know what this woman's aim may be, but I would certainly not be comfortable with it if I was in your situation. I would have to talk to my husband about this, even if a can of worms is opened.