Confused

LegacyUser

First and foremost I know this is a question almost everyone had I guess I just wanted some impartial advise.
I have gone on a few dates with what I consider to be a good bloke we have allot in common. My problem is we are both out of bad relationships and I am wary of letting my guard down. He also has cancelled on me twice (although he did have legit reasons). He also doesn’t reply to texts and is hard to get hold off I am not sure whether this is simply cause he could not be bothered.
Just looking to see if I am right to keep my guard up?

Elle Collins

He cancels on you, is hard to get hold of and doesn't bother responding to texts, and you're wondering if you should keep your guard up?!

Forget about your guard being up or down, your 'guard' isn't going to make a damn bit of difference with a man like this - just get out of there!

Trixie_Gem

Elle Collins wrote: »

He cancels on you, is hard to get hold of and doesn't bother responding to texts, and you're wondering if you should keep your guard up?!

Forget about your guard being up or down, your 'guard' isn't going to make a damn bit of difference with a man like this - just get out of there!

Think you might be right this is OP..Just registered. Just feel like it was crap cause he was the one who suggested every date.... Anyho thanks for the advise

Ickle Magoo

I'm not sure if there is a right or wrong to keep your guard up - but I see no reason to let your guard down. We only let our guard down when we feel secure and deliberately or not, he's not doing much to help matters in that respect.

If you like him then keep going as is - but perhaps give yourself a time limit by which point you want to see a noticeable improvement towards the kind of relationship you want to have?

All the best :cool:

Trixie_Gem

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I'm not sure if there is a right or wrong to keep your guard up - but I see no reason to let your guard down. We only let our guard down when we feel secure and deliberately or not, he's not doing much to help matters in that respect.

If you like him then keep going as is - but perhaps give yourself a time limit by which point you want to see a noticeable improvement towards the kind of relationship you want to have?

All the best :cool:

Thanks very much...

Elle Collins

If you're going to keep this relationship up Trixie-Gem my advice would be to start as you mean to go on. Don't give him any reason to think you're the sort of person who'll put up with that disrespectful crap. He is already making that assumption, by the way, which I think doesn't bode well.

Trixie_Gem

Elle Collins wrote: »

If you're going to keep this relationship up Trixie-Gem my advice would be to start as you mean to go on. Don't give him any reason to think you're the sort of person who'll put up with that disrespectful crap. He is already making that assumption, by the way, which I think doesn't bode well.

I know that's why I am going to leave it... I may have made him out worse He had some fairly good reasons why he couldn't meet me and I know it wasn't a line either... He is just very flaky and wishy washy so you never know where you stand.

For my own sanity I think its better I just leave it to him now if he likes me he knows where I am..

I was in a really bad relationship before the reason for all the insecurity .

Elle Collins

Trixie_Gem wrote: »

I was in a really bad relationship before the reason for all the insecurity .

Try not to drag your baggage from one relationship into the next Trixie_Gem. I know it's easier said than done, but we all have our baggage and I just find it's best not to let it follow us around the place - otherwise it just keeps on popping up causing crap long after it should be.

Maybe you're just not ready for a new relationship yet. How long are you single? And how long were you with your ex?

Trixie_Gem

Elle Collins wrote: »

Try not to drag your baggage from one relationship into the next Trixie_Gem. I know it's easier said than done, but we all have our baggage and I just find it's best not to let it follow us around the place - otherwise it just keeps on popping up causing crap long after it should be.

Maybe you're just not ready for a new relationship yet. How long are you single? And how long were you with your ex?

2 years broken up 3 months was with a guy since very brief fling...

I know I shouldn't I just tend to assume the worst..

Trixie_Gem

Hey guys he just text me there asking me out again I think his may be the thanks but no thanks talk...

at least he has the balls to do it to my face